My Story (Glad to find this place)

Public forum, tell us about yourself and what brings you to StayLDS!
Cadahangel
Posts: 3
Joined: 22 Apr 2018, 10:37

My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by Cadahangel » 23 Apr 2018, 10:27

I have had an on again off again relationship with the church as far back as I can remember.

The one thing about me is that doesn't include my relationship with Christ. I am very firm in the fact that I am a Christian. It's harder for me to say that I am as firm in being LDS. I go now mostly for my DW who is wholly TBM and my kids. I have found greater experiences for me at non denominational services than I have in any ward I have attended.

Just recently I decided to go to both so in the morning I go to a Christian church in my area, then to the ward for those meetings. Actually Sunday I had an interesting experience I would like to share to get thoughts on:So for my interesting experience. When I started the day I prayed and asked for direction to know where I need to be to help me grow and be where I need to be. The service brought me up I was energized ready to tackle the day so to speak. Then this is where is got wierd I went to sacrament meeting and my family's pew and only our pew was skipped on getting water and no one asked if someone didn't get it. Then my fear with the new quorum organization came true when 2 old people were put in charge. I wonder if this wasn't an answer to my prayer not sure but it has definitely put me in crisis about where to go from here.

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SilentDawning
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Joined: 09 May 2010, 19:55

Re: My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by SilentDawning » 23 Apr 2018, 11:48

I hesitate to attach too much importance to the missing of your row in sacrament, or the fact that two old people are leading the quorum. Mistakes happen, and often, who they pick to lead each organization is a matter of willing, capable, available bodies. It is often clothed as inspiration, but it's often just who is willing and available.

I would go to both And get a bigger sample size. let the patterns emerge, if they aren't there already. Keep praying until something happens that makes you feel right about a certain direction. The good thing about church stuff is that you don't have to decide all at once! You can take your time if you want to! So, do so!

I like the litmus test of any decision -- will this experience bring me joy? Define joy unselfishly....and according to your personal needs.
Last edited by SilentDawning on 23 Apr 2018, 11:54, edited 1 time in total.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"Stage 5 is where you no longer believe the gospel as its literally or traditionally taught. Nonetheless, you find your own way to be active and at peace within it". -- SD

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

My introduction: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1576

nibbler
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Joined: 14 Nov 2013, 07:34
Location: Ten miles west of the exact centre of the universe

Re: My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by nibbler » 23 Apr 2018, 11:52

Those juxtapositions can be tough.

In the past I used to visit some other religion/church once per month. Just as an attempt at being more balanced, always with this idea that the LDS church was my home church. I've had the contrast between the two experiences go both ways, sometimes I felt more positive about my LDS experience, sometimes my experience with others.
Cadahangel wrote:
23 Apr 2018, 10:27
Then my fear with the new quorum organization came true when 2 old people were put in charge.
:lol:

Each ward is unique. In mine it's the young kids I don't want to see in charge . The old guys are more laid back whereas the younger guys are more prone to police doctrines and shut down conversations by citing authority figures. I think they're still in impress others mode. Guess how many people that were in the HPG are in our new EQ presidency: Zero. I get the feeling leadership likes putting the hardliners in other leadership positions, be they young or old.

The good news is that you don't have to write what you do in stone. Take it slow, explore what you like, absorb the positives wherever they can be found.

Welcome to StayLDS.

AmyJ
Posts: 658
Joined: 27 Jul 2017, 05:50

Re: My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by AmyJ » 23 Apr 2018, 11:59

Welcome!
Cadahangel wrote:
23 Apr 2018, 10:27
I have had an on again off again relationship with the church as far back as I can remember.
You should fit right in here then:)
Cadahangel wrote:
23 Apr 2018, 10:27
The one thing about me is that doesn't include my relationship with Christ. I am very firm in the fact that I am a Christian. It's harder for me to say that I am as firm in being LDS. I go now mostly for my DW who is wholly TBM and my kids. I have found greater experiences for me at non denominational services than I have in any ward I have attended.
I have had some meaningful experiences with Christian music in the last 10-15 years, so I can relate in a small way. Several of Britt Nicole's and MercyMe's songs resonate with me.
Cadahangel wrote:
23 Apr 2018, 10:27
So for my interesting experience. When I started the day I prayed and asked for direction to know where I need to be to help me grow and be where I need to be. The service brought me up I was energized ready to tackle the day so to speak. Then this is where is got weird, I went to sacrament meeting and my family's pew and only our pew was skipped on getting water and no one asked if someone didn't get it. Then my fear with the new quorum organization came true when 2 old people were put in charge. I wonder if this wasn't an answer to my prayer not sure but it has definitely put me in crisis about where to go from here.
A few months ago I was driving to church and half-praying/half-requesting divine intervention because I was having a bad day. I got pulled over by the police - but only got a minor no points ticket. I am not sure whether the lesson was "Slow Down ", "You really shouldn't be at church", or some other lesson that hasn't occurred to me yet...

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dande48
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Joined: 24 Jan 2016, 16:35
Location: Wherever there is danger

Re: My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by dande48 » 23 Apr 2018, 12:29

Welcome Cadahangel! Happy you could join us.
Cadahangel wrote:
23 Apr 2018, 10:27
I wonder if this wasn't an answer to my prayer not sure but it has definitely put me in crisis about where to go from here.
In the end, this is something you'll have to decide for yourself. But personally, I don't think it was an answer to your prayer. In my experience, God doesn't work like that. Looking for a sign can often lead to... confirming whatever belief or idea we had at the time (see: confirmation bias). I'm not saying that's not the right conclusion, but it's not great evidence one way or another.

What to do next? MORE RESEARCH!!! Figure out for yourself if, when, and to what extent the Church
1. Is useful
2. Leads to Eudaimonia

The rest is just the details. Best of luck on your journey.
"The whole world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole

"Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure."
-Lemony Snicket

Cadahangel
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Joined: 22 Apr 2018, 10:37

Re: My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by Cadahangel » 23 Apr 2018, 13:47

Thanks for all the replies. The reason the event had such a profound effect on me was that I wasn't looking at confirming anything. I was strictly asking direction on what would be good for me.

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LDS_Scoutmaster
Posts: 208
Joined: 21 Jan 2015, 23:30
Location: SoCal

Re: My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by LDS_Scoutmaster » 23 Apr 2018, 14:10

Welcome to the site! I hope that you find peace along the journey.
Cadahangel wrote:
23 Apr 2018, 13:47
... I wasn't looking at confirming anything. I was strictly asking direction on what would be good for me.
Could you expound on this a little? I think you are saying that the experiences you had were not going to define the next steps you would take, but still looking for a sign on which way to go?
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=6311&start=70#p121051 My last talk

We are all imperfect beings, dealing with other imperfect beings, and we're doing it imperfectly.

Cadahangel
Posts: 3
Joined: 22 Apr 2018, 10:37

Re: My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by Cadahangel » 23 Apr 2018, 18:09

What I mean is my prayer was to find out what I should do from here. I had a great experience at the worship service felt energized and happy. Then I went to my ward and had a not great Sunday which included the experiences above. Some will say this is coincidence, but a part of me wonders if God was answering me. Unfortunately most I talk to around here (I'm in Utah) will say it isn't only because that would confirm I shouldn't go to the LDS church. Which in their eyes god would never say that. Hence my crisis!

Curt Sunshine
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Re: My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by Curt Sunshine » 23 Apr 2018, 19:37

You will find good and bad days everywhere. Seriously, from the inside, hidden warts come to light eventually in every organization.

Work on finding a way to stay before deciding to leave and face major complications and headaches in every area of your life.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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dande48
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Joined: 24 Jan 2016, 16:35
Location: Wherever there is danger

Re: My Story (Glad to find this place)

Post by dande48 » 24 Apr 2018, 05:45

Cadahangel wrote:
23 Apr 2018, 18:09
Some will say this is coincidence, but a part of me wonders if God was answering me. Unfortunately most I talk to around here (I'm in Utah) will say it isn't only because that would confirm I shouldn't go to the LDS church. Which in their eyes god would never say that. Hence my crisis!
If it was a positive experience (which many members say it is, most of the time), would that change what path you should take? What is the likelyhood that the events that transpired were coincidence, and hence would've happened anyways, versus redirected by God in order to give you an answer to your prayer?

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Storytime:

There is a con, where a person receives an email stating, "We have created a new, accurate stock algorithm with predicts the market with 99.9% accuracy. We understand this is an astounding claim, but as a show of goodwill, we will send you five stock predictions for free. As you see the accuracy of our algorithm, we hope you will consider investing in our organization." The person disregards the email as a far fetch hoax, but decides to keep an eye on the market just for fun. The first prediction comes true, with the stock reaching sizable games. Thinking it's a coincidence, they keep an eye on the second prediction, which also comes true. So does the third, and the fourth. So does the fifth. Given a 50/50 chance any stock prediction pans out, there's only a 3.1% chance it was all coincidence five predictions in a row would pan out (p< .05). So the person decides to send a couple hundred to the organization, to get another stock pick. They invest their entire life's savings in the stock, which then plummets.

How does this work? Well, lets say the email gets sent out to 10,000 people. The con artist sends out random predictions to the entire group. Sometimes they pan out, sometimes they don't. Let's say 50% of the time they are correct. The ones who are correct, get the next prediction. Only 3.125% of them get all 5 predictions right. That's still over 300 people, who have their predictions right every time. If even only 10% of those were following along, that's still over 30 people who believe your claims are legitimate. If each is willing to invest $100 in your company, a con artist could easily pull in $3000, not to mention cash out on an artificially inflated stock.

There are two types of statisticians out there. Frequentist and Bayesian. The first takes the probability of an event happening at face value, and makes conclusions. The second recognizes there are many other factors at play, and takes them into account. There are about 4 million members who attend Church every Sunday. Let's say 2% of them are questioning whether they should stay or go and have been praying about it (very low, IMHO). That's 80,000. Let's say 1 in 1000 get passed over with the sacrament, just by chance (also, very low). And then lets say 10% of them don't like a particular local church leader (again, very low). That's 800 people who will, on any given Sunday, have the experience you have just shared with us by pure coincidence. My point is, even a string of highly unlikely events are no indication of objective truth.
"The whole world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole

"Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure."
-Lemony Snicket

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