Convert trying to stay

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TheSquid
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Joined: 04 Oct 2017, 13:02

Convert trying to stay

Post by TheSquid » 14 Oct 2017, 13:33

I am a convert who joined the church a couple years ago. I have been going through a faith crisis since January this year. The origin of my crisis is mainly based on church culture, some of the teachings and policies.
Leave the church has always been tempting to me. As a convert, I don't have the family issues to deal with since nobody in my family is LDS. I live and work in a large northeastern city, so the social aspect is not affected either. Also, I work in sales, and be able to drink with clients would make my life far easier than having to give them other excuses.
However, in the end of the day, some aspects of the church teachings and culture still appeal to me. Deep down in me I still believe the LDS church has taught many good things. I also like the sense of community in the church.

Curt Sunshine
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Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: Convert trying to stay

Post by Curt Sunshine » 14 Oct 2017, 15:52

You are not alone in your situation. For many, there are negative elements, but the positive ones outweigh the negative ones - to widely varying degrees. For others, the negative outweighs the positive - but other factors keep them from leaving.

Finding an individual balance that works for you is the key - and accepting that it truly is individual (as it is for every other member, no matter where they fall on the orthodoxy-heterodoxy scale.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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Beefster
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Joined: 04 Aug 2017, 18:38

Re: Convert trying to stay

Post by Beefster » 14 Oct 2017, 22:20

Sounds like you're in almost the same boat as me, except you don't have family expectations or lifetime habits holding you in the church.
Boys are governed by rules. Men are governed by principles.

Sometimes our journeys take us to unexpected places. That is a truly beautiful thing.

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nibbler
Posts: 3663
Joined: 14 Nov 2013, 07:34
Location: Ten miles west of the exact centre of the universe

Re: Convert trying to stay

Post by nibbler » 16 Oct 2017, 10:00

Hello, from a fellow convert. :wave:

That does put a different spin on it, doesn't it? What some BIC members might face if they were to leave the church is what I had to face when I joined. If I were to leave I'd have relatives doing whatever the opposite of spinning in their graves is. Laying completely motionless? Yeah, that's what they'd do if I were to leave the church.

On that note... :|

Welcome.

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gospeltangents
Posts: 156
Joined: 10 Jul 2017, 22:50
Location: Utah
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Re: Convert trying to stay

Post by gospeltangents » 16 Oct 2017, 19:32

Welcome. I saw a Facebook post yesterday on "Why members leave and never return." It was an awesome message, so I ended up using it for my home teaching message. It was really good. I hope we can be more welcoming to all.

https://mormondom.com/why-people-leave- ... 0e3e817a3a
See my latest interviews on Mormon History, Science & Theology at www.gospeltangents.com

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dande48
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Joined: 24 Jan 2016, 16:35
Location: Wherever there is danger

Re: Convert trying to stay

Post by dande48 » 16 Oct 2017, 20:17

Happy to have you, Squid.

I was born in the covenant, so I'm not sure how much I can empathize. Maybe if I wasn't, I would've left. Who knows?

For me, it's been very important to redefine what I believe and why I believe it. The Church places a huge emphasis on the priesthood authority, especially of the prophet and apostles. It's practically the only thing that gives us a "one up" on other Christian churches. Without it, it's all just personal interpretation; what sounds right and feels good. On the flip side, many of the commands we are taught are still "good" regardless of what God, prophets, or anyone else has to say about them. Alcohol is poison. Porn messes you up. Service builds relationships. Etc.

It takes a lot of re-evaulating. I'm still not done figuring things out on my end. Here's wishing you the best on your journey.
"The whole world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole

"Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure."
-Lemony Snicket

AmyJ
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Joined: 27 Jul 2017, 05:50

Re: Convert trying to stay

Post by AmyJ » 17 Oct 2017, 05:14

gospeltangents wrote:
16 Oct 2017, 19:32
Welcome. I saw a Facebook post yesterday on "Why members leave and never return." It was an awesome message, so I ended up using it for my home teaching message. It was really good. I hope we can be more welcoming to all.

https://mormondom.com/why-people-leave- ... 0e3e817a3a
Thank you! I saw this link and read the article. The message really resonated with me. I plan to share this link with different people in my life.

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DarkJedi
Posts: 5921
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: Convert trying to stay

Post by DarkJedi » 17 Oct 2017, 06:59

Welcome. I am also a convert of many years ago, and I am the only member in my extended family. My view is very much like Dande's. When I returned from inactivity and "rebuilt" my faith it became crucial for me to recognize what I believed and what I didn't believe. We all have to make those choices eventually. One of my first steps was recognizing the difference in the gospel and the church. While often used interchangeably at church, they are not the same thing. Our theology teaches that the gospel always has and always will exist. The church (as we know it) has not always existed and is part of the gospel, not the other way around. Making that separation is helpful when it comes to things like doctrine as opposed to tradition, policy, or culture.

As a side note and FWIW, I don't believe a social drink with clients is necessarily against the WoW. In my present state of belief, if I did engage in the occasional social drink I would answer "yes" to the question about obeying the WoW.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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DarkJedi
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Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: Convert trying to stay

Post by DarkJedi » 17 Oct 2017, 07:00

AmyJ wrote:
17 Oct 2017, 05:14
gospeltangents wrote:
16 Oct 2017, 19:32
Welcome. I saw a Facebook post yesterday on "Why members leave and never return." It was an awesome message, so I ended up using it for my home teaching message. It was really good. I hope we can be more welcoming to all.

https://mormondom.com/why-people-leave- ... 0e3e817a3a
Thank you! I saw this link and read the article. The message really resonated with me. I plan to share this link with different people in my life.
I second the thanks. Good article, thanks for sharing.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

My Introduction

Roy
Posts: 4956
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Convert trying to stay

Post by Roy » 17 Oct 2017, 14:09

gospeltangents wrote:
16 Oct 2017, 19:32
Welcome. I saw a Facebook post yesterday on "Why members leave and never return." It was an awesome message, so I ended up using it for my home teaching message. It was really good. I hope we can be more welcoming to all.

https://mormondom.com/why-people-leave- ... 0e3e817a3a
YES!!!!
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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