Hello, my name is Longbottom...
Posted: 25 Sep 2017, 13:58
The most serious faith crisis of my life began a few months ago. I have no problem with church doctrine or historical issues, fine with JS, fine with Book of Abraham, fine with just about everything. Except that I couldn't stand God and "His ways" (It's a long story. I had serious father issues growing up, and am a middle-aged man now). My faith in God degraded until a few days ago, I broke down and told my TBM (but open-minded) wife all about my issues. She was immensely supportive, and agreed that I had every reason to feel the ways I do. She gave me space and understanding, and I know that not all have the advantage of such a supportive spouse! Two days ago, I found StayLDS. It changed my life immediately. I had no idea that there so were many others with the exact same issues as me! Needless to say, I've been reading a LOT.
I knew I didn't want to leave the church, but what choice did I have since I couldn't even pray anymore without getting angry? StayLDS has shown me that there is a place for me in the church, even if I am struggling with some things. I want to thank those current and past contributors who have helped me to understand and embrace a new world of depth and understanding about how we wanderers can still find a place in a religious culture that is part of who we are, whether we love it or hate it, and whether we are "all in" or not.
I hope to share more of my story over time here, as it's an interesting (if not squeamish at times) life history, and one that others who have encountered childhood trauma and are still having issues as an adult may relate with. I have found that for myself and for many child victims, it's even that much harder to see God as anything but punitive in nature. And there are some bad people in the church (and good people who naively say or do damaging things) whos actions have dire consequences for their victims' spiritual well-being. Especially when the damage is when they are young.
Again, looking forward to participating. I love the attitude of love and acceptance here. Even though it's mostly anonymous, it's refreshing to see so many who are suffering be able to have a place to feel welcome.
I knew I didn't want to leave the church, but what choice did I have since I couldn't even pray anymore without getting angry? StayLDS has shown me that there is a place for me in the church, even if I am struggling with some things. I want to thank those current and past contributors who have helped me to understand and embrace a new world of depth and understanding about how we wanderers can still find a place in a religious culture that is part of who we are, whether we love it or hate it, and whether we are "all in" or not.
I hope to share more of my story over time here, as it's an interesting (if not squeamish at times) life history, and one that others who have encountered childhood trauma and are still having issues as an adult may relate with. I have found that for myself and for many child victims, it's even that much harder to see God as anything but punitive in nature. And there are some bad people in the church (and good people who naively say or do damaging things) whos actions have dire consequences for their victims' spiritual well-being. Especially when the damage is when they are young.
Again, looking forward to participating. I love the attitude of love and acceptance here. Even though it's mostly anonymous, it's refreshing to see so many who are suffering be able to have a place to feel welcome.