Heber13 wrote: ↑
30 Mar 2017, 11:30
NotYourMollyMormon wrote: ↑
29 Mar 2017, 19:37
As an adult, I was more lax with the interpretation (I would drink tea, coffee sometimes, drink alcohol) and would still go to church sporadically. However my mother shared what I was doing with the bishop, and I was put on probation and then disfellowshipped (this cycle kept repeating itself a few times).
Ugh. That is rough.
Factors I can see to work through...
2) Bishop - has that changed? Not all bishops will handle things the same way, but clearly your experience is going to impact how you handle this going forward
3) WoW teaching - personal interpretation vs church rules
For factor#3, studying things out in my mind on the subject...honestly looking at what the issue is and what the teachings are to understand them, and asking God what he cares about for me, getting my own personal revelation and interpretation on the subject...that is important to me.
I like how you are looking for that happy medium, and letting go of extreme black and white positions on the subject.
It may not be your view (#3), you may have it OK between you and God. The trick may be #2, and how to navigate honestly and peacefully with others in the church who have different views. That takes practice to stay honest about it, without not making it more difficult than it needs to be...not revealing more than necessary.
IDK. I'm just sharing thoughts. It sounds like you are working thought it. I think there is a happy medium.
Wow you are pretty spot on!
1. My mom and I had a very strained relationship ... it developed while I was growing up and church was intertwined in all that
We have been trying to rebuild our relationship, however, because she is the only active member in my family, I tend to overshare what I am going through (especially when it is church related), but then she pulls these stunts and tells the church leaders in her stake (who I grew up with) and I get very upset with her... I have been trying my best to reduce or restrict what I share with her on purpose so that she has less things to run to the bishop and SP about. Luckily I don't live with her anymore, but she still finds a way to run her mouth. Sadly this cycle has been repeating itself since my teens and only now am I having more control over the situation.
The other issue is that she makes very snarky remarks about my behavior when it comes to church:
"The rate you are going, who in their right mind at church would marry someone as disobedient as you are. The only hope you have is a non member who is (insert mediocre characteristics here)"
"Are you really going to wear that? What will people think of you at church" (mind you my garments are completely covered)
"You know that contains caffeine in it right? In the WoW it says you can't consume that and you won't be worthy"
"You are my last hope out of all my kids to be saved in the latter days since your siblings left the church. Please don't do (insert whatever sin/transgression here) because I don't want to be alone in the after life."
This is what I grew up with. I don't listen to any of that nonsense anymore (thank goodness!), but she still makes comments like that to me all of the time smh
2. The bishop(s) I was referring to in my post were from my early adulthood so I don't deal with them anymore. My current bishop is nice, but I am not that comfortable talking to him about many things. However, he always tells me "you don't have to tell me everything, but as long as you say you are doing fine that is okay." He just takes my word for it. Idk what his views are with much - I just know that he is really big on consistent attendance to church
3. And yea I am taking a step at a time. I am glad you all have shared your thoughts on the matter because it forces me to think outside the box and to reevaluate my thoughts. I think I will get to a good place about it sooner than later