An ADHD FC

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Heber13
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Re: An ADHD FC

Post by Heber13 » 23 Jan 2017, 12:28

Reuben wrote: I grew increasingly frustrated with myself, the health care system, and especially God, who I counted on to help when I was helpless but, as far as I could tell, did nothing.

After treatment for ADHD, as depression subsided, there was no exhilaration and no empowerment. Just relief, some residual powerlessness, and leftover frustration with the health care system and especially with God. In my frustration, I asked shot some hard questions at him that I normally wouldn't have even considered.

What kind of father abandons his child when his child needs him most?

What kind of creator would create humanity in a way that cuts so many of them off from him entirely?

What kind of miracle-worker helps people do their callings with inspiration and can alleviate mild anxiety and mild depression, but can't or won't work any greater miracles?
Well said, and good questions. I know that frustration, although for different circumstances in my life. I have expressed these feelings over the pulpit in my ward and have seen many members of the congregation nodding...because they are asking these questions too in their lives and in their circumstances.

It seems puzzling. To me...it makes me feel like "I don't really care much if God helps me find my car keys, if at these most important times I'm left alone to deal with stuff."

These feelings are what make the faith journey so compelling. It is hard to just sweep them under the rug. They are important to my experience here on earth. It makes some things in church feel like it just doesn't matter much compared to the important things in life.

I believe these thoughts and feelings have been coined and referred to as "The Dark Night of the Soul", and are not limited to the mormon experience.

You may want to do some reading about Saint John of the Cross, Spanish Mystic in the 1500's. It seems these feelings are there to be wrestled with and have been for centuries. And some people do find ways to journey through them while still looking for God in their lives.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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nibbler
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Re: An ADHD FC

Post by nibbler » 23 Jan 2017, 16:41

Reuben wrote:After treatment for ADHD, as depression subsided, there was no exhilaration and no empowerment. Just relief, some residual powerlessness, and leftover frustration with the health care system and especially with God. In my frustration, I asked shot some hard questions at him that I normally wouldn't have even considered.

What kind of father abandons his child when his child needs him most?

What kind of creator would create humanity in a way that cuts so many of them off from him entirely?

What kind of miracle-worker helps people do their callings with inspiration and can alleviate mild anxiety and mild depression, but can't or won't work any greater miracles?

I couldn't make any sense of it. At some point - maybe when the faith crisis proper started - frustration turned to anger.
This sounds very similar to some of what drove me towards a faith crisis. For me the question of why god would leave people to suffer had a few answers, unsatisfying though they may be. It was more related to me trying to reconcile the concept of justice. No matter what angle I viewed things from at the time, I just couldn't see any solution or outcome that I felt was just. So maybe using your examples, how could you describe god as just if he employed divine intervention to help in the case of someone's mild inconvenience while, on the other hand, completely ignoring your desperate cries for survival?

There's an infinite amount of nuance that can be applied to the situation. Maybe god doesn't intervene to help people find keys, maybe it's more the case that a person gives god the credit for anything and everything that goes their way. There's even the orthodox answer, god gave you the weakness so you would turn to him and make you strong. BTW, that answer can hurt more than it helps. I.e. what happens when you turn to god and you feel like you've been turned away?

I believe that the orthodox approach is to look at any problem and say god "will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able" or point out how god will "make weak things become strong unto them." Or maybe that was just me. When this concept broke down for me, when I finally realized that there are some problems in life that cannot be solved, problems that required that I swallow the injustices of it all... that's when it came apart at the seams.

Sure there are orthodox explanations. There always are. This time I just let it change me.

It can be at the root of how Mormons define the very purpose of life... if an unsolvable problem comes along it can throw a wrench into the works of this life being a time for people to progress or prepare to meet god. Well what if something physiological prevents you from doing that?
Boyd Packer, General Conference, Oct 2010, Cleansing the Inner Vessel wrote:Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn temptations toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! Remember, God is our Heavenly Father.
The last sentence was changed from what was delivered over the pulpit. The last sentence was originally "Why would our heavenly father do that to anyone?" So it sounds like BKP had some of our same questions! The bottom line, if you've made a "gospel hobby" out of agency, where agency is the most important thing, then having the ability to chose in all circumstances becomes a necessary piece to that puzzle.

Someone recently bumped an old thread and I read one of my posts from several months ago. Must have been a dark period for me. ;) The gist was that our interactions with others may heavily influence our views about god. If we don't have a lot of support from people we may feel god is distant. If we receive a lot of support from people we may feel god is intimately involved in our lives. Interactions with others can be difficult because many times people that have not experienced something first hand are not in a position to understand how it feels, much less help us. It can be hard for a community to support people with ADHD when 1) no one wants to talk about it. 2) very few people actually understand how hard it is. So I can see how it's easy to feel cut off from god's presence when you feel cut off by your community.

Maybe cut off is too strong. Maybe it's more related to not finding someone that "gets it."
all sinners, a future, all saints, a past, beginning, the ending, return to ash

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hawkgrrrl
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Re: An ADHD FC

Post by hawkgrrrl » 25 Jan 2017, 16:01

To go back to your two questions:
First, I need some guidance on how to be the young men's president in this state. I can teach good principles with confidence, and I can perform administrative duties, but I feel like I can't testify of anything.
Someone once said that when it comes to the youth, the most important thing you can do is love them and put them at the center. I've been so impressed with the young men's leaders who have taken my sons under their wing, helped them get jobs, gone to their school performances, and helped with their eagle projects. That's by far the most important thing you can be doing. I say think of it as helping them to launch into adulthood.
Second, how do I pray now? The prayers I've been able to honestly be happy with are like this: "Heav - actually, I have no idea if you're anything like a father. You don't seem to have acted much like one." Sometimes I have to stop here. But if I keep going: "If you're there, and capable of listening, and actually care, then thank you for... what? I don't really even know. There are many wonderful things in my life, but I don't know if you had a hand in any of them. Thank you for putting it all in motion? I guess?" And it continues that way.
I'm going to go off script here to say a few things you won't hear at church. First, the Brother of Jared was not very diligent at prayer, but it wasn't that he lacked faith or was not a good guy. He just didn't remember to pray. He was a busy guy. I think life is busy, and prayers are rote when things are going more or less OK so there honestly isn't that much to say. True meaningful prayer, in my life anyway, happens when things are going wrong - not stuff like church, but LIFE stuff. I'm worried about my kids, my health is bad, someone dies, I'm feeling dejected about work, whatever. To me, those are the times when I really can pour my heart out. I say don't force it. Let it be what it is.

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