Reuben wrote:After treatment for ADHD, as depression subsided, there was no exhilaration and no empowerment. Just relief, some residual powerlessness, and leftover frustration with the health care system and especially with God. In my frustration, I asked shot some hard questions at him that I normally wouldn't have even considered.
What kind of father abandons his child when his child needs him most?
What kind of creator would create humanity in a way that cuts so many of them off from him entirely?
What kind of miracle-worker helps people do their callings with inspiration and can alleviate mild anxiety and mild depression, but can't or won't work any greater miracles?
I couldn't make any sense of it. At some point - maybe when the faith crisis proper started - frustration turned to anger.
This sounds very similar to some of what drove me towards a faith crisis. For me the question of why god would leave people to suffer had a few answers, unsatisfying though they may be. It was more related to me trying to reconcile the concept of justice. No matter what angle I viewed things from at the time, I just couldn't see any solution or outcome that I felt was just. So maybe using your examples, how could you describe god as just if he employed divine intervention to help in the case of someone's mild inconvenience while, on the other hand, completely ignoring your desperate cries for survival?
There's an infinite amount of nuance that can be applied to the situation. Maybe god doesn't intervene to help people find keys, maybe it's more the case that a person gives god the credit for anything and everything that goes their way. There's even the orthodox answer, god gave you the weakness so you would turn to him and make you strong. BTW, that answer can hurt more than it helps. I.e. what happens when you turn to god and you feel like you've been turned away?
I believe that the orthodox approach is to look at any problem and say god "will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able" or point out how god will "make weak things become strong unto them." Or maybe that was just me. When this concept broke down for me, when I finally realized that there are some problems in life that cannot be solved, problems that required that I swallow the injustices of it all... that's when it came apart at the seams.
Sure there are orthodox explanations. There always are. This time I just let it change me.
It can be at the root of how Mormons define the very purpose of life... if an unsolvable problem comes along it can throw a wrench into the works of this life being a time for people to progress or prepare to meet god. Well what if something physiological prevents you from doing that?
Boyd Packer, General Conference, Oct 2010, Cleansing the Inner Vessel wrote:Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn temptations toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! Remember, God is our Heavenly Father.
The last sentence was changed from what was delivered over the pulpit. The last sentence was originally "Why would our heavenly father do that to anyone?" So it sounds like BKP had some of our same questions! The bottom line, if you've made a "gospel hobby" out of agency, where agency is the most important thing, then having the ability to chose in all circumstances
becomes a necessary piece to that puzzle.
Someone recently bumped an old thread and I read one of my posts from several months ago. Must have been a dark period for me.
The gist was that our interactions with others may heavily influence our views about god. If we don't have a lot of support from people we may feel god is distant. If we receive a lot of support from people we may feel god is intimately involved in our lives. Interactions with others can be difficult because many times people that have not experienced something first hand are not in a position to understand how it feels, much less help us. It can be hard for a community to support people with ADHD when 1) no one wants to talk about it. 2) very few people actually understand how hard it is. So I can see how it's easy to feel cut off from god's presence when you feel cut off by your community.
Maybe cut off is too strong. Maybe it's more related to not finding someone that "gets it."