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DarkJedi
Posts: 5997
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: New

Post by DarkJedi » 20 May 2015, 07:12

russdm wrote:I don't think the Church actually intended, but I think the culture and dogma simply encourages that kind of thinking. Encourages a lot of negative self-worth and low self-esteem, but does little to encourage improvements. In my opinion.
I agree with this, and it happens a lot with many different topics. The gospel is simple.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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Heber13
Posts: 6941
Joined: 22 Apr 2009, 16:37
Location: In the Middle

Re: New

Post by Heber13 » 20 May 2015, 07:58

russdm wrote:My failings frequently cause my expectations to increase, not decrease. That just makes things worse. I also learned stuff from Church that makes it hard to feel worthy of asking for Christ's help.

I don't think the Church actually intended, but I think the culture and dogma simply encourages that kind of thinking. Encourages a lot of negative self-worth and low self-esteem, but does little to encourage improvements. In my opinion.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

I would think your observations are somewhat true for some people, but I wouldn't really agree that the church culture or dogma encourages that kind of thinking. I think the church is about helping individuals progress, and improve with great messages of hope for eternal progression, as well as support through our struggles in this life.

To me that is the gospel and why it is helpful to so many. However...in my personal life, I found some things didn't get better with just prayer and study and bishop visits.

I had to start learning to separate out what things are in the realm of religion and spirituality, and what things are not, and stop trying to apply church cough syrup for all my life's illnesses.

In your specific situation, some church things may apply differently to you than to others. And yet, on Sunday, you may hear one message that applies to most. It may sound like there is only "one way" and everyone must conform to that...or be guilty the problem is you. I don't believe that. But sometimes we can limit our progress by limiting our thinking to that simplistic view. "Everyone else seems happy, the problem must be me." :?

You can start to learn to internally process the messages with a maturity that not all things that work for others will work for you, and not all things that work for you will work for others. And not all things can be perfectly expressed in words, which makes it hard to understand without experiencing it, and without just letting some things be and accepting them even if it isn't expressed well at church.

God made differences in the world to enhance it and beautify it. You're part of that. Find ways to embrace the "you" that you are...and you'll find many gospel principles, when viewed under a different perspective, apply just beautifully and help build your self-esteem...and not always lower it...unless you are applying it a certain way. Perhaps God is teaching you this so that you might learn. Perhaps he wants you to first accept yourself, and then apply the principles, and he is going to help you figure that out.

Gospel principles of love, service, forgiveness, faith, hope, charity, unselfishness, sacrifice, etc....these are all good things to help us overcome our struggles and set goals to progress to who we need to become in this life. They do not all lead to guilt and shame because we aren't perfect.

My advice is to take one thing at a time, and like an onion, peel back church things to find out if you believe it, don't believe it, or need to learn it through a new lens so you can process it in a positive way in your life. Then...go to the next...and so on.
CS Lewis wrote:If our religion is something objective, then we must never avert our eyes from those elements in it which seem puzzling or repellant; for it will be precisely the puzzling or the repellant which conceals what we do not yet know and need to know….the truth we need most is hidden precisely in the doctrines you least like and least understand. Scientists make progress because scientists instead of running away from such troublesome phenomena or hushing them up, are constantly seeking them out. In the same way, there will be progress in Christian knowledge only as long as we accept the challenge of the difficult or repellant doctrines. A ‘liberal’ Christianity which considers itself free to alter the Faith whenever the Faith looks perplexing or repellent MUST be completely stagnant. Progress is made only into a resisting material.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

Minyan Man
Posts: 1494
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: New

Post by Minyan Man » 26 May 2015, 14:39

Welcome russdm. We're glad you're here. My only advice is: try not to focus on the negatives in your life.
If we were perfect, we wouldn't need a Savior, repentance or the sacrament on Sunday.
In the final analysis, we aren't perfect & will never be perfect in this life.
We will have our ups & downs over time. This site is a good source to share our thoughts, ideas & get feed back.
Keep coming back.

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