Concerned

Public forum, tell us about yourself and what brings you to StayLDS!
ConcernedMember
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Joined: 23 Jul 2013, 13:21

Concerned

Post by ConcernedMember » 23 Jul 2013, 15:24

Hi-- I am new here. I have mixed feelings about lurking, joining, and posting here. In real life, I am a very sociable & empathetic person. I have made good friends in my life & have enjoyed warm, close, reciprocal relationships. For me, Joining an Internet group, comprised entirely of strangers, most of whom (including myself) don't/can't even disclose real names feels a bit like a grand social failure. But, I feel like I have exhausted all of my "typical avenues" of real-life support & friendship. I have lost friends/family relationships as a result of my "faith transition"... And I have finally come to the conclusion that I can't afford to or want to lose any more. So....here I am in the DAMU (someone please set me straight if I am using that acronym incorrectly...I'm a newbie :P)

I started doing historical "research" in the 1990's-- well before The DAMU or Bloggernacle even existed. The availability of records, journals, documents, etc. has expanded tremendously since my first minor doubt or concern ever took root. But, here I am-- still trying to make it work. Most days, I am not sure why I even try. But, in reality, I know that it is because I am afraid of losing both my family (mostly TBM DH) as well as losing the only church/cultural heritage that I've ever really known. I guess you could say that my stopover here is probably no more than one more desperate attempt to keep my head above water. But, it is what it is. Anyway-- that's my story!

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wayfarer
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Concerned

Post by wayfarer » 23 Jul 2013, 15:32

The DAMU (DisAffected Mormon Underground - pronounced "damn you") existed in the 90s, on listserv mailing lists and usenet (alt.religion.mormon, soc.religion.mormon)

Except that StayLDS tries to not be disaffected, nor is it really "underground". Our goal is to find a way of staying LDS amidst disaffection...to find one's "middle way".

Welcome.
"Those who speak don't know, those who know don't speak." Lao Tzu.
My seat in the bloggernacle: http://wayfaringfool.blogspot.com

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Concerned

Post by Curt Sunshine » 23 Jul 2013, 17:14

Welcome to StayLDS - not the DAMU. (Like wayfarer, I just need to make that distinction crystal clear.) :D

I hope we can help you "stay LDS" but do so in your own way - a way that will help bring you peace and joy and personal fulfillment.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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cwald
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Re: Concerned

Post by cwald » 23 Jul 2013, 18:22

I'm a proud member of both the DAMU and staylds...the whole Seinfeld "worlds colliding" concept does happen from time to time.

Welcome.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2
  Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn't participate enthusiastically. - Robert Kirby

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Concerned

Post by Curt Sunshine » 23 Jul 2013, 19:25

Absolutely, cwald - but being part of both doesn't mean one is part of the other.

I know you know that, but we have to make it clear to new participants and those who read but never comment.

Now, let's get back to welcoming and let this threadjack end. :smile:
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

ConcernedMember
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Joined: 23 Jul 2013, 13:21

Re: Concerned

Post by ConcernedMember » 23 Jul 2013, 20:05

wayfarer wrote:The DAMU (DisAffected Mormon Underground - pronounced "damn you") existed in the 90s, on listserv mailing lists and usenet (alt.religion.mormon, soc.religion.mormon)

Except that StayLDS tries to not be disaffected, nor is it really "underground". Our goal is to find a way of staying LDS amidst disaffection...
OK -- thanks for clarifying. I didn't mean to call this site something that it isn't & don't want to give anyone the wrong idea about its purpose or mission.

I do have one more question, though: If the participants here aren't considered "disaffected", what would you call it? (BTW, I don't really like the term "disaffected", but I don't have a better one at the moment). I guess I settle for "disaffected" because I have lost some affection for the church (history, doctrine, culture, policies, and procedures) over the years so dis-affected kind of seems to fit for me. (Maybe I'm in the wrong place???)

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Kumahito
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Re: Concerned

Post by Kumahito » 23 Jul 2013, 20:20

CM, you're in the right place.

I've never been a big fan of the labels we place on ourselves. I don't like being labeled "disaffected," or a non-traditional believer, or a gringo, or ISTJ, or anything, really. I had this conversation with a good mate who no longer believes in the Church (or even in God, for that matter) - what should I call him? An atheist? An agnostic? A secular humanist? A godless heathen? (That was my attempt at comedy with him, and we got a good laugh out of it, but it's not really too handy as a handle). Finally, I just settled on his name.
"An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all."
- Oscar Wilde

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Orson
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Re: Concerned

Post by Orson » 23 Jul 2013, 20:36

Welcome! Good to have you here.
ConcernedMember wrote:If the participants here aren't considered "disaffected", what would you call it?
Maybe: In the "wrestle", or learning to see in a new light, hyper growth mode, chewing the fruit of knowledge, challenged... ??
My avatar - both physical and spiritual.

I first found faith, and thought I had all truth. I then discovered doubt, and claimed a more accurate truth. Now I’ve greeted paradox and a deeper truth than I have ever known.

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Concerned

Post by Curt Sunshine » 23 Jul 2013, 22:22

I think most of us here still have a great deal of "affection" for some aspect of the LDS Church and Mormonism, often the people we love who are more traditional and orthodox than we are; thus, we aren't DIS-affected. The level of our affection, and the areas where we have that affection, vary widely - but all of us want to "stay LDS" in some way. even if that "way" also varies widely.

We talk of a middle way, but not in the same way as others do on some other sites. We aren't part of "THE Middle Way" (as if there is one way that is right for everyone); rather, we are looking for our own individual "way" to make things work and to find peace and joy and community. We are talking about finding our own faith and owning that personal faith - and doing it, generally, within the basic framework of the LDS Church and, in my own case, what I call "pure Mormonism".

In other words, we are focused on walking our own individual path within the "world" of Mormonism and the LDS Church. We tend to be explorers who move in and out of the community, physically and/or mentally - often not comfortable with everything in town, but living either outside of town and visiting occasionally or living inside town and doing moving in and out regularly. The LDS Church is our home base, but we aren't confined within regular fortress walls. etc., etc., etc. Pick whatever image works for you.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

Ann
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Joined: 09 Sep 2012, 02:17

Re: Concerned

Post by Ann » 24 Jul 2013, 00:34

ConcernedMember wrote:In real life, I am a very sociable & empathetic person. I have made good friends in my life & have enjoyed warm, close, reciprocal relationships. For me, Joining an Internet group, comprised entirely of strangers, most of whom (including myself) don't/can't even disclose real names feels a bit like a grand social failure.
Hi, ConcernedMember - I have some of these thoughts, too. I think you'll find a balance. Seems like folks here want to be connected to their "real life" people. We're not escaping into anonymity to separate from spouses, family and friends. I've wondered how stayLDS-ers would get along in an actual ward. We would have differences of opinion and style; we might annoy and offend each other. You know, real life! Realizing that helps me get along better in my ward. But I don't feel the least bit guilty or sheepish about being here. I hope you like it!
"Preachers err by trying to talk people into belief; better they reveal the radiance of their own discovery." - Joseph Campbell

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

"Therefore they said unto him, How were thine eyes opened? He answered and said unto them, A man that is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes...." - John 9:10-11

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