Do I stay or do I go now?

Public forum, tell us about yourself and what brings you to StayLDS!
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seeker
Posts: 7
Joined: 26 Apr 2012, 22:51
Location: California

Re: Do I stay or do I go now?

Post by seeker » 05 Jun 2012, 23:52

It's hard to deal with sex addiction, pornography, and masturbation no matter what age you are. I have a good friend who converted to the church, and I had the privilege to baptize him. But he still masturbates and watches porn, and he even let his addiction get out of control so much that he paid money to have sex with a stripper. However, he talked with the Bishop and was able to get some help, though he is still struggling, which is ok, for addiction is very hard. I have also struggled with pornography and masturbation in a much milder manner, but it's still hard for me.
The best advice I have for you is begin to gain faith in Jesus Christ. He is the one that makes me feel I can get through this life. I feel I can be able to conquer sin through his atonement, and I try to emulate the way how He treated people with love by his constant service and ultimate sacrifice. I know God and Christ love you. Use their power and the power within yourself to seek help from therapists, etc. to get you through these problems.

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BeLikeChrist
Posts: 197
Joined: 27 Feb 2011, 04:50

Re: Do I stay or do I go now?

Post by BeLikeChrist » 07 Jun 2012, 06:14

i guess the thing to ask is: at what point is masturbation and pornography harmful ? it's like asking when is drinking alcohol harmful. and the ultimate answer is this: DEPENDS UPON THE PERSON !

some people can't handle alcohol. some people are just genetically wired that way. most can handle moderate alcohol drinking and would never fall into addiction.

masturbation and pornography could be considered the same way. there are probably plenty of married men/women who masturbate and look at porn and would never cheat on their spouse.

Unfortunately some will and do.

Mike from Toronto

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mercyngrace
Posts: 517
Joined: 18 Jan 2011, 12:26

Re: Do I stay or do I go now?

Post by mercyngrace » 07 Jun 2012, 07:39

BeLikeChrist wrote:i guess the thing to ask is: at what point is masturbation and pornography harmful ? it's like asking when is drinking alcohol harmful. and the ultimate answer is this: DEPENDS UPON THE PERSON !

some people can't handle alcohol. some people are just genetically wired that way. most can handle moderate alcohol drinking and would never fall into addiction.

masturbation and pornography could be considered the same way. there are probably plenty of married men/women who masturbate and look at porn and would never cheat on their spouse.

Unfortunately some will and do.

Mike from Toronto
The real tragedy is that for most people, we only discover our pathways to addiction through experience and then we've often let a genie out of a bottle. I think there is wisdom in advocating abstinence from known dangers but I'm not about to judge anyone who finds rock bottom at the end of a bad fall because that's a natural part of this life, learning by experience, we all do it.

I believe that when Paul said we see through a glass darkly, he wasn't just talking about how little we know God and His ways but how little we know about ourselves.
Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. ~ Luke 7:47

leavingthecave25
Posts: 70
Joined: 30 May 2012, 06:51

Re: Do I stay or do I go now?

Post by leavingthecave25 » 09 Jun 2012, 11:53

I was listening to the Mormon Stories podcasts and there's an episode that talks a lot about the psychological aspects of what it sounds like you are going through. It was really helpful for me. Here's the link for it.
http://mormonstories.org/323-ocd-scrupu ... hn-dehlin/

alaskaboy19
Posts: 45
Joined: 06 Jun 2012, 19:09
Location: Anchorage, Alaska

Re: Do I stay or do I go now?

Post by alaskaboy19 » 09 Jun 2012, 20:01

God bless you sir. All of us are here to comfort you. All I can say is that you need to assess the needs of your children. Ask your wife if the severe emotional detriment of a divorce on the minds of your children is worth it. Your wife does have a right to be frustrated, because your issues compromise her self esteem. But in the church, we don't believe in revenge, and children shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of their parents.
I don't believe you deserve all the guilt you've faced. Theres nothing that sickens me more than church leaders who may have treated you poorly in your time of distress. As I've read, I agree with everyone else's posts on how we may have created an environment were we abuse ourselves with guilt. I don't believe infractions of the law of Chastity are comparable to murder. In the Puritan religion, you could've been executed if you were caught masturbating. That society failed miserably. Enough is enough. The importance of Chastity is to have self-control and discipline of your physical body so that you save the best joys to share in the expression of Love with your spouse.

Godspeed you in your endeavors to keep your precious family together at all costs. Without trials, how would we know of the love we have for one another??
"In a world of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
–George Orwell, 1984

"Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free"
-John 8:32

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored"
-Aldous Huxley, British novelist

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deancatcat
Posts: 11
Joined: 24 May 2012, 14:46
Location: California

Re: Do I stay or do I go now?

Post by deancatcat » 09 Jun 2012, 20:31

HI Aaron,
I am so sorry you are having such conflict. I understand. Have you thought about therapy and behavior modification rather than the church doctrine that is making you feel bad? I hate to see you give up your life in the church because of an emotional or behavioral issue that can be changed. Truly!!! My heart goes out to you. I hope you stay.
deancatcat

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