New! And confused!

Public forum, tell us about yourself and what brings you to StayLDS!
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deancatcat
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Joined: 24 May 2012, 14:46
Location: California

New! And confused!

Post by deancatcat » 27 May 2012, 12:39

I converted 10 years ago. I am a liberal Christian Mormon. I have many that judge me. I have fought to stay. I am really grateful for sites like this that people have similar stories and experiences of feeling less than or do not fit. I have always felt I did not fit. I have joined a few other groups on Facebook as well to help me get through my trying time right now with my religion. I want to stay but I want to go. They did something I was shocked at today when they changed the Bishop Ric. I felt so sick to my stomach, I had to leave. Perhaps reading everyone's posts, and learning to understand I'm okay too will help me be able to stay.

Anyway, thank you for allowing me to be a part of this. Each group I am accepted at makes me feel less alone.

Warm Regards,

Dean Hansen (I'm a woman with my dad's middle name)
deancatcat

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cwald
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Re: New! And confused!

Post by cwald » 27 May 2012, 14:25

Welcome Mrs. Dean.

I feel like an alien at church and around my family. I hear ya.
  Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn't participate enthusiastically. - Robert Kirby

doug
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Joined: 23 Sep 2010, 07:37

Re: New! And confused!

Post by doug » 27 May 2012, 14:45

Welcome!
deancatcat wrote:I am a liberal Christian Mormon. I have many that judge me.
If you feel comfortable sharing, I'd be interested to hear what you mean by "liberal Christian Mormon", and why you feel that makes you subject to being judged. Also, what was it about the change in bishopric that upset you?
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. -- Mark Twain

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deancatcat
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Location: California

Re: New! And confused!

Post by deancatcat » 27 May 2012, 14:48

Thank you cwald...I am sorry, I don't know your real name, . What do you do to get through these times? I am so sad right now. Do you have people that help you? Do you have scriptures or stories that help?
Dean :)
deancatcat

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cwald
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Re: New! And confused!

Post by cwald » 27 May 2012, 18:05

My name is Chad...but cwald will do for this site.

I have discovered that my wife, jwald, is very great NOMMish. I also have found that I have two very close friends from HS that are walking similar paths s jwald and myself. We meet in Logan a couple times a years and spend a lot of time on the phone.

And I correspond and meet with the Portland Mormon story facebook group.

But, when I first started, it was pretty well just the staylds website. It was a very very lonely time.


I studied Buddhism, and read everything I could find written by the 14th Dalia Lama. it helped a great deal. More so than any other prophet I have read.

I also gave up reading the BOM, and just focused on the New Testament. I made it a habit of finding the good and peace from other prophets' works like Tolkien, Roddenberry, Lewis, Urchtdorf, Shakespeare, Rowlings and Lucus etc etc. There is just so much good out there...but it does take a different perspective to become universal and allow the positive energy to flow.
  Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn't participate enthusiastically. - Robert Kirby

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deancatcat
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Location: California

Re: New! And confused!

Post by deancatcat » 27 May 2012, 18:51

Hi Doug, Thank you for your warm remarks. :) The Bishop Ric changed when they took the 1st counselor out to be in the Stake. The 2nd went to the 1st position. The 2nd is a man who sells Reliv and gets people into horrible debt by passive persuasion. I fell prey to that some years ago and took a long time to dig myself out of the hole. The Bishop RIC saw his actions as "trying to be helpful." So, the 2nd position was given to a man that my husband and I helped with his wife joining the church while he became active 10 years ago. This man's wife got severely mad at me last year when my BFF from church was dying and I could not figure out how to get to her house to buy her treadmill. She has been cold and silent since then no matter how I try. Her husband followed suit a few months ago when I tried to talk to him. Watching my Bishop Ric turn into a group with two men who are self-centered and selfish people was more than I could handle today. I left. I emailed the Presidency, and now I'm in trouble because they called and want to "talk" to me at 8:00pm tonight. I have always been the odd man out. I am liberal, I voted for Obama, I believe in equal rights, I detest discrimination in any form, but am a full tithe payer and hold a recommend. I am shunned by many women; they completely ignore me, and some of the men have told me to shut up in Sunday School. I ask questions. Lots of them. I was put behind a primary piano my first seven years. Now in the past three I have been in Sunday School for most of the time, and am learning all about the church. I didn't know and don't know so much, and am shocked at some of the beliefs. I have literally had to talk some of them into finally telling the truth about if it's doctrine or opinion. I walk into Sunday School and the lady that ask people to do the opening prayer has never asked me in three years, even though on many occasions I have been the only one in the room. I am an outcast.

Cwald or Chad, I grew up on the Bible. The New Testament is where Jesus lives and all his teachings are, so is our salvation in Revelation. I went to church for a few years in a small store front where I met Jesus as a felt figurine a lady held in her hand as she explained this Lord of Love, this Lord of Life, this Redeemer. I felt a overwhelming warm feeling from my head to my toes - I was five, and right then I knew Jesus lived. We moved and I went to a Baptist Church for 12 years before I moved away, and searched for a church for many more years. I have studied many other religions as well, I have a Zen book on my desk, I follow some of Buddha's teachings. I believe in Mother Earth and all things that are good from nature and God.

I don't know what else to say, but I am not looking forward to 8:00 and what they have in store for me. I could hardly stand the past year with the previous 2nd counselor that is now the 1st counselor. Now it's two of them. I suppose I just don't like two faced people.
deancatcat

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cwald
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Re: New! And confused!

Post by cwald » 27 May 2012, 18:55

Good luck tonight.

Sent from my SCH-I500 using Tapatalk 2
  Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn't participate enthusiastically. - Robert Kirby

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deancatcat
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Location: California

Re: New! And confused!

Post by deancatcat » 27 May 2012, 19:12

Thanks! :)
deancatcat

Minyan Man
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Re: New! And confused!

Post by Minyan Man » 28 May 2012, 08:49

Deancatcat, a very interesting introduction. It sounds very familiar on this forum.
Keep it coming.

Mike from Milton.

afterall
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Joined: 09 Jan 2012, 09:57

Re: New! And confused!

Post by afterall » 28 May 2012, 09:03

Deancatcat, I hope you survived that meeting and that it ended on a good note. It is so hard to accept when certain people are put into leadership positions when you have experienced the bad side of them. In my own life, I am trying to remember that people can change (thank goodness for all of us for that) and that maybe the calling is to help facilitate that in them. There is no one perfect to ever be called into a calling. After having shared that, there are a couple of people I would have to not sustain if they are ever called into a major calling of leadership. I have distanced from those couple of people and I pray they have learned and changed, but I know what I know and that doesn't go away. Praying for your enemies definitely helps us in the long run. Being able to wish someone well who has severely wronged you is a good testing point for ourselves. I am able to wish these people well now in my heart but it has taken a few years to get to that point.

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