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Great Quote in the Ensign about Sexual Urges

Posted: 23 Jul 2020, 18:57
by Curt Sunshine
Experiencing sexual feelings and sexual arousal is normal. Children don’t need to act on those feelings and sensations but instead can be mindful of them. This means noticing sexual feelings but not negatively judging them. Research has shown that practicing mindfulness can help us make better choices that are in line with our values and goals, such as keeping the law of chastity.“


I understand completely that the Church doesn't apply this in the same way I would (as expansively), but it is a fabulous quote - especially given our history of statements about sexual urges.

I am giving props where props are due.

Re: Great Quote in the Ensign about Sexual Urges

Posted: 31 Jul 2020, 22:26
by Ilovechrist77
I just found the Ensign article you're talking about. There was a lot of that post I agreed with, while there was a lot of things in there I didn't agree with.

Re: Great Quote in the Ensign about Sexual Urges

Posted: 01 Aug 2020, 04:30
by DarkJedi
Thanks for sharing Curt.

I agree that professionally, and likely slopping over into our personal lives, you and I understand this a bit differently than may be obvious to others at first glance and would likely use it differently. I'm not sure that mindfulness in general is something the church or general membership has readily embraced in the past - it's too close to Eastern religious thinking than is comfortable for some. I am reminded of a priesthood meeting in which one of our more enlightened brothers spoke about meditating and how useful he found it - and the rebuke he got from an old stalwart to be careful of such things and that prayer was the only true way to find peace. The truth is things like mindfulness and meditation can be applied to religion but they're not necessarily religious and religion is not the only lens through which they can be viewed (as is true with many other things, including sexual feelings). But I agree, it's a start that it's even mentioned and props are due.

I had read that this month's Ensign was dedicated to the subject of talking about sex at home and while I think that's a valiant effort I have frankly been reticent to look at it out of fear about what I might find that I likely won't agree with. I think in general the church, and more specifically many members/parents, while meaning well have done tremendous mental/psychological damage to countless people in teaching about the evils of sex.

Re: Great Quote in the Ensign about Sexual Urges

Posted: 03 Aug 2020, 09:45
by Roy
DarkJedi wrote:
01 Aug 2020, 04:30
I had read that this month's Ensign was dedicated to the subject of talking about sex at home and while I think that's a valiant effort I have frankly been reticent to look at it out of fear about what I might find that I likely won't agree with. I think in general the church, and more specifically many members/parents, while meaning well have done tremendous mental/psychological damage to countless people in teaching about the evils of sex.
I haven't seen the ensign. I know in times past sex has been demonized and enlarged to mountainous proportions. I have tried in my home to be more transparent. I have read "It's perfectly normal" with my deacon age son and that gave rise to a number of positive conversations. My daughter declined to read the book with me but has since asked that we check it out from the library for her to read on her own. I too applaud any effort to increase these sorts of open and positive discussions between parents and their children.

Re: Great Quote in the Ensign about Sexual Urges

Posted: 03 Aug 2020, 15:39
by Roy
I looked up the current issue. There is still lots of stuff there that I wouldn't wholeheartedly embrace. However, there are some great points and additional quotes that I would like to highlight.
Masturbation is often a child’s first experience with sexuality and is done in ignorance. Even young children are prone to self-touching, and how parents respond to these early behaviors can set the stage for how young people feel about themselves and their sexuality. It is important for parents to find a balance between helping children understand the why behind God’s commandment that sexual behavior occur within a marriage relationship, while also not reacting with disgust or anger when children engage in self-touching or youth admit to masturbating.
This is pushing the envelope for the ensign. It recommends against reacting with disgust or anger. It does talk about teaching the "why" behind God's commandment that sexual behavior occur within a marriage relationship. In trying to parse out what they are saying here I believe that they mean that masturbation is part of the sexual behavior that God commanded to occur within the marriage relationship. It is interesting that it is phrased as a positive command, As though God said "I command married people to have sex with their spouses" rather than "I command that non-married people have no sexual relations." In phrasing it that way, I wonder if they are thinking of the command to be fruitful and multiply.
Just as when our toddlers are first learning how to walk, youth may stumble as they learn to understand and regulate their own sexuality. It is important for us to remember to promote growth instead of guilt and to teach children that Jesus Christ can bless them with grace and power and mercy to strengthen them and help them
I like this. What parent would chastise or punish their child for falling down. We need lots more helping people to move forward and make better choices next time.