A little story:
Heber13 wrote: ↑
10 Aug 2018, 08:34
It comes down to their faith.
But I find the punitive system a bit harsh on these things that don't seem to have an impact, it is all guilt manufactured by the church and that is all. It is unnecessary. But...maybe that is part of being in a group. There are rules.
My guess is they'll avoid the church and those feelings until they have been out long enough, they just learn to accept it and find other things in life to replace church...and the longer it goes...the more normal that feels.
My parents were raised Catholic & Methodist. I have a brother & sister. We were not raised with any particular religion. My brother & I would go to the Methodist church periodically (holidays). Between the ages of 16 - 18, I got into a lot of legal problems with the Police. By the time I was 18,
my name was in the newspapers along with our address. It caused a lot of pain for my family, especially my Mother.
I went to college, got a degree, joined the lds church, got a job, married & have (3) children. They are married & have children of their own.
My children have never come close to the pain I inflicted on my parents. It always haunted me well into my 50's. Before my baptism (at 25), I talked to my Bishop & nothing more was said. After my baptism, I still carried this guilt around like a 100 lb bag of sand.
About a year before my Mother died, she was visiting with us. She was reviewing her life & made the following comment,
When you kids were growing up, I never had a problem with any of you.
So, like the dutiful son I am, I reminded her of the things I did as teenager. She looked at me trying to remember what I was talking about. Then I saw in her eyes that she knew what I was talking about. She then said:
Oh Mike, that was nothing.
In that moment I knew that not only had she forgiven me (38 yrs before), she forgot all about it. She had erased it from her memory.
I don't know if she did that with everyone, but it was a gift she gave to me. I try to remember that every time I take the sacrament.
Heber, if you are a good friend, you will have a talk with them. Don't let the opportunity pass by. You may be able to remove another 100 bag of sand. SWK told the story (Miracle of Forgiveness) of the artist Holman Hunt. He painted the picture titled: Christ at the door. It's an excellent story about forgiveness & our role in the process. In the end, forgiveness is between us & God. (With help from friends & family.)