Put a different spin on it. I would start with a TBM obedience statement that doesn't point to obeying men, perhaps "obedience is the first law of heaven" scripture....sound TBM and get off on the right foot with the leaders, before you launch into a nuanced talk that is meant to encourage people to obey their conscience.
Then I would go further and talk about what we should obey,
1. Our conscience -- make obeying your conscience your thesis.
Talk about the Light of Christ, and quote the article of faith that says we believe in worshipping God according to the dictates of our own conscience. That it applies to both members and non-members alike. WE need to obey our conscience when we feel it speak loudly to us.
Make the rest of your talk about how to educate, sharpen, and obey your conscience -=- even in the face of risk and uncertainty. Steer clear of comments about obeying leaders....focus on training the group to obey their conscience.
2. Quote DHO in his talk here:
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/dati ... t?lang=eng
Here is a great quote from this talk.
If you feel you are a special case, so that the strong counsel I have given doesn’t apply to you, please don’t write me a letter. Why would I make this request? I have learned that the kind of direct counsel I have given results in a large number of letters from members who feel they are an exception, and they want me to confirm that the things I have said just don’t apply to them in their special circumstance.
I will explain why I can’t offer much comfort in response to that kind of letter by telling you an experience I had with another person who was troubled by a general rule. I gave a talk in which I mentioned the commandment “Thou shalt not kill” (Ex. 20:13). Afterward a man came up to me in tears saying that what I had said showed there was no hope for him. “What do you mean?” I asked him.
He explained that he had been a machine gunner during the Korean War. During a frontal assault, his machine gun mowed down scores of enemy infantry. Their bodies were piled so high in front of his gun that he and his men had to push them away in order to maintain their field of fire. He had killed a hundred, he said, and now he must be going to hell because I had spoken of the Lord’s commandment “Thou shalt not kill.”
The explanation I gave that man is the same explanation I give to you if you feel you are an exception to what I have said. As a General Authority, I have the responsibility to preach general principles. When I do, I don’t try to define all the exceptions. There are exceptions to some rules. For example, we believe the commandment is not violated by killing pursuant to a lawful order in an armed conflict. But don’t ask me to give an opinion on your exception. I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord.
Encourage the people to follow their conscience on matters that seem extraordinary or exceptional. Comment on how you start out black and white, but that many life situations quickly turn gray.
3. To encourage a sharp conscience, encourage people to study out issues in their mind. I wouldn't be afraid to give them some questions to ask themselves, borrowed from normative ethics..."How will I feel after I do this? Would I want this broadcast on social media? Is this fair to everyone involved? Who could be hurt by this decision, and can I live with that? Is it legal? Even if it's legal, is it ethical? Is this something Jesus would do?
4. Also, encourage them to be careful about to whom they turn to advice. I might even comment on the need to find people who are knowledgeable in the area where you must make a decision, who have ethics you respect, and also have technical knowledge. [Notice I didn't say run to your Bishop, I said find people with the right morals, perspective and skills to help you make a decision. That could mean StayLDS people, although I wouldn't say that]
5. Talk about our personal filters. How ultimately, we need to run everything through our conscience. [I am secretly thinking that even historical tales and weak explanations about objectionable parts of our religion, but I wouldn't say that]
6. Comment on how sometimes, gospel principles conflict with each other, making it hard to give black and white credence to principles in that situation. Quote Eve's conundrum bout whether to obey the commandment to replenish the earth, or abstain from the fruit of the tree of knowledge. there was no guidance given -- she had to appeal to her conscience and consult with Adam. So to must we forge out own path when he gpospel places conflicting principles in front of us that can't exist at the same time.
7. Talk about the risks of unquestioning obedience -- that like most things, obedience is best when it is tempered with judgment. Look up Milgram obedience experiment, and that people ignored their conscience to the point they were willing to push buttons that inflicted fake pain on actors who assumed the parts of participants in a study. Comment on the role of conscience in this situation, the need to obey it, and the courage it often takes to obey it.
TBMS will think you are talking about obeying the gospel in the face of worldly commands, but in my heart, i would know I 'm even talking about ignoring church leader advice. In my mind, I'm cautioning against the obedience that led to the Mountain Meadows Massacre where good church members shot non-members in the head at the likely command of church leader. But again, I would not say that.
8. Comment on how followign conscience can prevent bitterness. People who follow their own conscience have no one to hold accountable but themself, and can't blame leaders, or anyone else if it doesn't work out -- which sometimes happens.
Guess what -- if your experience is like mine, people will complement you, sincerely, on a good talk that made them think. You don't often hear obedience from this angle. And now, you are preaching in a way that is unique based on your own, unorthodox LDS experience.... Notice how every point can be interpreted as elevating your conscience even above church teachings. But you don't say that. At the same time, it sounds harmonious with the gospel of obedience. Yet you didn't go into a churchumony or a leader-mony -- you encouraged people to listen and obey the light given them from God .. god to Man..
I would then sit down feeling authentic, yet safe at the same time. Christ spoke in double meanings a lot "let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Speaking of both the people about to assault the woman taken in adultery, and himself at the same time. Only the wise knew what he was really saying.
Revel in that....