On Own Now wrote:
hawkgrrrl wrote:OOO: "The way I look at this kind of thing is to recognize that, in general, men and women are wired differently." I really firmly disagree about this line of thinking. Are there any differences? Probably some, but it's not clear what they are, and it's not that all men are one way and all women are a different way. I often find I have more in common with men I know than with women, and I'm without a doubt a woman. That just tells me most of the patterns of thought are culturally driven. Because I've been a high level executive in a corporate environment, I relate more to others with similar backgrounds. Men and women are far more alike than different. If men were patted on the head the way women are, they would feel the same. They would not like it.
Fair enough, hawkgrrrl, but just for the record, I think you and I are both on the same side of the street. I probably think there are more differences than you do, but I freely and openly acknowledge that that only holds on a "general" level. My entire point is that even if we acknowledge that there are differences, we must not let the differences between men and women (and in deference to you, I'll say, if any) set either up as better than the other and not to let it drive gender roles.
While brain research has shown that men and women do in fact use different parts of their brain when asked the exact sane question at the sane time monitoring their brain patterns, it is only a way to understand ones self... Rather and bit to be used as a way to try to prove ones theory or role.
The more we understand how each of our brains and brains in general work. The more we can understand ourselves and our relationship and interaction to each other. I had already theorized or recognized a bygone era thinking throughout the ceremony. Or the way it was presented seemed to represent the very dominate thinking of generations for hundreds if not thousands of generations with result to black and white thinking and categorizing that into roles for each sex.
For me it's more of a history lesson to how the world predominately thought back then and where we have come in conscious thought now. We aren't there yet because there are still many minds thinking in black and white and they usually and do make good administrators and lawyers and law makers.
Unfortunately that means also they also make the rules and polices to follow including in the temple. It's not surprising but it won't be going away anytime soon since this will continue to be the case for some time to come.
We can revision the ceremony to something that is meaningful and pleasant to us. We don't have to internalize what someone else had the need to categorize everything into a 2 class system of thought. There can be many or even just one redshifted to suit our needs.
My wife by the way of example actually sees me as the head of the household and "authority" despite my gentle and covers to her that I really dislike and am very uncomfortable with that role and thinking. It rally gives me high anxiety and sadness.
I can't change her and won't try/don't want to. Instead I do what I need to do that is healthy for me. I'm just not that kind if guy no matter how anyone may insist/and do. Both church leaders and my wife try to get me to furfill my obligation as head of household and patriarch. They feel that way, I do not. I am a patient guy but sometimes I am a guard breath away from shouting "enough already, that isn't me.". But I filter it and coy explain it's not who I am.
They can try all they want it's not changing who I am on the inside . They can say it out of love, but I have had some really really bad things happen to me by those closest out of "love".
I reinvesting it all into something more pleasant. Something I actually have co troll