Feeling left out

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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REBEL2
Posts: 29
Joined: 19 Jan 2019, 08:57

Feeling left out

Post by REBEL2 » 22 Sep 2019, 18:24

So I am new to my job and have to work weekends. I took a vacation day to attend church not an easy task only being there 7 months . Went to church with my wife and noone even noticed us !!! Felt pretty bad !!! Advice ???

Minyan Man
Posts: 1729
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: Feeling left out

Post by Minyan Man » 22 Sep 2019, 19:36

Rebel, I'm sorry you feel that way. I have only 1 suggestion. Try to treat others as you want them to treat you.
Introduce yourself. Ask questions. Talk to the youth or children sitting near you. Talk to the Missionaries.
I am not a natural extravert. It does take effort.

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mom3
Posts: 4000
Joined: 02 Apr 2011, 14:11

Re: Feeling left out

Post by mom3 » 22 Sep 2019, 20:50

Ouch. I am likely a guilty party on that type of thing. I barely get through church some Sundays. Though I am an extrovert, I keep it locked down at church. If I know you I can be pleasant. Otherwise, I am the quintessential avoider.

Reading your post is gentle reminder that sticking my head in the sand for my ego's sake does have negative consequences.

As a lifetime attendee, different wards do better at it than others. My parents ward excelled at embracing, introducing and connecting with people. For the most part though, Mormons job is to enter the chapel quietly - don't talk. Move out to class in a herd. Regurgitate information. Get your Sunday Celestial Stamp and then move on.

I think Minyan Man has it right, you may need to do some reaching out on your own.

Also, maybe turn it around, having a Sunday where people don't bombard your personal space is a good thing. You can use those weeks to observe others and get a read on them first. - Just a thought.
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

Roy
Posts: 5802
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Feeling left out

Post by Roy » 24 Sep 2019, 16:28

This might be a blessing in disguise. Having to work on Sunday is one of the few acceptable reasons for a man to regularly miss church services.

I personally find some SS lessons to be triggering. I further feel that some callings would be more difficult for me than others.

Missing church service for work and having a calling with the cub scouts on Wednesday nights helps me to keep a more sustainable balance.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

REBEL2
Posts: 29
Joined: 19 Jan 2019, 08:57

Re: Feeling left out

Post by REBEL2 » 25 Sep 2019, 15:52

Yea , I have thought more about it and I can see it as a blessing really. Thanks

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PazamaManX
Posts: 25
Joined: 24 Nov 2018, 03:21

Re: Feeling left out

Post by PazamaManX » 26 Sep 2019, 19:28

It definitely is a ward to ward thing. Some wards have welcomed me and even somehow knew my name without me having been there before. However, in my current ward, we've been there for 3 and a half years and we still get,"Oh hi! How long have you been in the ward?" It's always uncomfortable to answer because I instantly make them feel embarrassed when I tell them how long we've been in the ward. It's not their fault though really. My wife and I are very reclusive, as we often sit in the back and don't always stay for the 2nd hour.

Then again some people will never notice when someone has not been to church in awhile. In the ward I grew up in, I left on my mission, came back and when some people saw me for the first time (I never gave a homecoming talk) they said, "Hey! Haven't seen you in awhile! So when you going on your mission?" :roll:

I, personally, agree with Roy that it's a blessing in disguise. Being an introvert, going unnoticed really is a blessing in a church that is very much geared towards being extroverted.
"Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness, even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear." ~ Thomas Jefferson

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