Others comments

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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Havefaith
Posts: 38
Joined: 24 Feb 2019, 08:46

Others comments

Post by Havefaith » 17 Sep 2019, 19:17

So I made it to sarament meeting 2 weeks in a row. I cant remember now but it might have been 3. Last sunday i didnt feel like goung so i didnt. I never thought i would say this but since we have 9:00 church it was easier not to go. Years sgo i would have never let that stop me. I felt okay about not going until work today.
My coworkers were talking about stake confrence and how there ward was having a special stake confrence coming up. One of them asked two of us at the same time if we were having a special stake comfrence. I said no only because we just had stake confrence a month or two ago.

I was thinking about that though and because i didnt go to church i might have missed that.

This stuff is so hard. I know i have said it before. But i hate that every one thinks that i am this perfect lds person. That girl just assumed i went to church and would know the info about a stake confrence. Its hard going inactive if i choose that path. It makes me want to go to church so that i will know whats going on. What a dumb reason to go ti church though ( just so i can know whats happening) church is for worship not to nessararily get info about what is comming up.
I will be honest here. I went to church on stake confrence day anf forgot it was stake confrence.
I survived though. Just wanted to get that out today.

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Heber13
Posts: 7121
Joined: 22 Apr 2009, 16:37
Location: In the Middle

Re: Others comments

Post by Heber13 » 19 Sep 2019, 21:14

Glad you were able to get that out and share it with us.

I think there are multiple reasons a person can go to church, and one valid one is to be in the group and belong and know what is going on and connect with others. Nothing wrong with that.

Yes, we should go to worship, but there are various ways to do that, along with socializing or families going to follow traditions.

Whatever is helpful to your life, is good enough reason, I think. When you choose not to go...that is fine to. Allow yourself to choose what is helpful to you, and what is not.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

Havefaith
Posts: 38
Joined: 24 Feb 2019, 08:46

Re: Others comments

Post by Havefaith » 20 Sep 2019, 01:52

Im trying to to learn to be respectful of other peples opiniins more. For a while i couldnt even talk about things. I have found many outside sources to be uplifting and sometimes more helpful than church.
I dont know what i will choose in the long run. I cant remember where i red this but it talked about taking things slow. That is what i am trying to do.

As i mentioned before i work with a few LDS members who talk about it about it quite a bit. I hate that they talk about all the new changes coming up. But i guess there is going to be alot of the changes going to happen. I have a teenage daughter who has gone inactive in the church and i have benn inviting her to come with me at times but chooses not too. I respect her for that. I guess it wouldnt hurt to know some of that stuff.
Anyways some weeks i feel like going to church others other weeks i dont.
I really am trying to be respectful of others opinions cause i would want the same for me.
I thought about what i said to my co worker the other day and came up with a better answer if i ever needed it again. I could have said. When she asked if i had heard of any special stake confrence " not that i know of ". And thats it. I get so tired of feeling guilty for not gioing to church.
Some times its hard because my siblings growing up went inactive as teenages and at the time i couldnt believe they would go inactive at the time. Now i am feeling maybe the way they were. But it feels harder to go inactive because i have been so faithful for so long. I feel sad that i judged them back in the day. Dont want anyone to do that to me. I almost feel like a fool for not learning why my siblimgs left the church and being at leaste less judgemental in my thoughts. Its not like i was rude to them ever. I just didnt under stand why they left and thought they were being rebelious. Thay did get into bad things like drugs and alcohal. But I'm nnot so sure thst is the reason they left the church though. I know they didnt like some of the culture.
Im just sad that I tried so hard my way before with the chuch and that wasnt the amswer to my problems and now its hard to fit in with the inactives becauss i have been known as the active one for so long. Im afraid all those that know me wont acept me as an inactive member and inturn judge me. Its so sad that people do assume that inactivity means they are bad and or rebeliuos. Not the case at all.

Most of the few people i work with are pretty ortadox mormon i woyld say. There is one that isnt so much though and im glad and like what she has to say sometimes. She was telling us all that she took offence to something and didnt as she was telling us i could tell that she was okay with how she felt about the particular thing. Some people in the curch think taking offence is a sin but really its not. Thats how my co worker felt and she made changes because os it. She just knows what she is doing with her life and doesnt let others or the church dictate what she chooses.
Like i said though im trying to tske things slowly For me that is what has been working. I do want to do whats right for me.

Roy
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Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Others comments

Post by Roy » 24 Sep 2019, 12:30

I agree that there are many reasons to go to church and socializing can be a very valid reason.

There should be a stake calendar online that you can access to let you know of upcomming stake events. I might never know about the father and son camp outs if not for this.

It is also ok to take a break from attending (try to trade up to other worthwhile activities) church for a bit.

My wife hates when people say, "I missed you at church today." because she hears it as "I noticed you were not in church today and I am going to judge you for it unless you give me a reason that I consider valid."

Coping mechanism:
1) recognize that many people may be genuinely interested to see you and really did miss you from church service.
2) be prepared to give a reason that is acceptable. "I wasn't feeling well," is a perennial favorite.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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