Inactive for months due to tithing. Can I still give my newborn a baby blessing with an expired reccomend?

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
User avatar
Posts: 99
Joined: 25 Mar 2018, 14:00

Re: Inactive for months due to tithing. Can I still give my newborn a baby blessing with an expired reccomend?

Post by Rumin8 » 27 Jan 2019, 12:19

DarkJedi wrote:
27 Jan 2019, 11:02
I'd say just jump in and pay what you feel comfortable with.
This x1000. Whatever your tithing number is, it’s between you and the God. Any bishop who really drills down on this is overreaching. Furthermore, whatever you pay, pay directly to the church. If done so properly the amount paid will not show up on ward records. I have done this for years. In fact probably about 60% of my ward does the same. Including my bishop and counselors.
"Moderation in all things, especially moderation." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Be excellent to each other." - Abraham Lincoln to Bill & Ted

User avatar
Posts: 7283
Joined: 09 May 2010, 19:55

Re: Inactive for months due to tithing. Can I still give my newborn a baby blessing with an expired reccomend?

Post by SilentDawning » 28 Jan 2019, 21:35

I ordained my son to the Aaronic Priesthood last Sunday in spite of being a non-TR holder. Also ordained him to a deacon and a teacher that way.

You got leadership roulette alright. I'd hold back on blessing your baby in the church until you can satisfy the Bishop you met his requirement. You'll have to weigh the opinion of other family members in this, though.

The BP's out of line, but your only recourse is to go to go back to the BP and ask for clarification given the FP letter (I didn't read a lot of the details from the BP interaction so this might not be possible). But do it with the right wording, attitude and humility or it could make the BP even more stodgy about it.

I would, as a second alternative, ask the SP clarification. Do it in a spirit of being confused and seeking the truth. Quote your Bishop, quote the FP letter, ask for an opinion. Say you'll do what is required, but you need clarification as the different sources don't seem to agree and you don't know what to do. And stress the impact on your financial situation and the stress it causes. Be humble and a truth seeker trying to figure out how to do the best thing in difficult circumstances.

Puts the SP in an awkward position because he might have to overturn his Bishop's decision. Or you might find that the leadership roulette problem sits squarely in the SP's office. Don't know how many times people have complained about their Bishop's or immediate supervisor's position on an issue only to find that it was the person above them who is the source of the objectionable policy. In this case the SP, possibly.

I wouldn't let someone else do the blessing though if you really want to do it. The child may someday see their membership record or if there is a certificate, the certificate. And then wonder why you didn't do the blessing, and wonder why. Maybe even ask you.

Also, not doing the blessing puts pressure on the leaders. They get lists and things and may see the name of the baby come up in meetings all the time, have to talk around it, and know it's a nagging issue. They may see your attendance drop off or commitment wane, and then feel guilty. A new Bishop could take over, or you could end up eventually in a TR interview a couple years later at the SP level. There you could let it drop that it took you two years due to the gross requirement with an "apology" for the impact of life circumstances on your ability to pay.

This could surprise the SP without putting him in a position to overrule the Bishop, since you did, in fact, eventually comply with the BP's unwarranted rule. The SP might deal with it with the BP in an interview to the benefit of those who follow you. Or, you may find the Bishop relaxes the requirement in future interviews, to your benefit.

Note -- you could give a father's blessing to the child if you want in your home. That way the child gets all the blessings. I think they still go down on the church records but not as a child of record too -- the only thing you lose is the experience of all kinds of loved ones joining in the blessing and the public display of affection. Even if the blessing happens sometime in the future, you could do it privately.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

Post Reply