The hardest part used to be just walking in the building. After I was released I knew that a hand full of ward members were aware something was up with me.
So I had a lot of anxiety any time I was around Mormons. That has improved over time and now my Sabbath hang up is that I feel totally out of place. My beliefs have changed so much that I just can't relate to most of what is said. Whether from SM talks, testimonies or SS lessons.
It feels like the one time I went to an evangelical church and just didn't get it.
The entire worship service left me feeling confused and with ringing in my ears from being to close to the stage.
Except with lds services I know how I used to feel but can't bring those feelings out of me again. I guess I do a lot of cringing now to things that used to bring me warm fuzzies.
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