Roy wrote: ↑
23 Apr 2018, 10:07
One of my "ministering" families has a daughter. My daughter and her daughter both love a Lego expansion called Lego elves. Although there is an age gap I invited this girl over to our house to play for an hour. I heard through my wife (who later talked to the mother) that the girl had a great time and wants to come back.
This is how I prefer to minister because this is how I would prefer to be ministered (I am sure there is a lesson in that). If my children feel accepted, engaged, and socially connected (church friends) - then I am hooked.
I wrote a list of the needs/righteous wants of my family and whom we could minister to as a family (mostly from a here-are-the-ministering-relationships-already-active-you-might-want-to-make-those-official perspective) and sent it to my R.S. presidency. [1. They are my "direct contacts" 2. I could depend on them to do something useful with the information.]
I would love to have people minister to my daughter like this socially, but I don't think is going to happen. The 2 girls within a year of my oldest have 2x her social poise and live in the same neighborhood. We live 30 minutes away and my daughter does not interact the way that is acceptable to these girls, so watching them becomes a parallel play situation/an-ignore-my-daughter-situation. Both girls are sweet, and their parents are good members with more traditional child development processes at play. I love them for the good they do, and mourn for the understanding that is missing.
However, we have a member of the branch we call "Grandma N." [the name has been shortened to protect the guilty angel] who spirits my daughter away to hang with her for 4-6 or more hours a quarter OF HER OWN CHOICE, who reminds us that she WANTS to babysit so that my husband and I can get away sometimes. This grandma know that my daughter is "quirky" and knows of some of the descriptions surrounding that, but she chooses to see my daughter for who she is and celebrate her with us. Grandma N. TOLD me when I was preparing to deliver #2 that I could call on her any time day or night - that she was half EXPECTING a nighttime phone call/having us drop my oldest off at her house in the middle of the night - and that she wanted to be there for us in that circumstance. And when called her at 5:45 PM from the ambulance, she came and picked up my oldest from our house so that my mother-in-law could go to hospital to sit with the baby and my husband and she babysat her for 24 hours.
My personal minister for a good year became my friend because I had the courage to ask her to come pick out maternity clothes from the thrift store with me. I needed some maternity clothes, and was very cautious/insecure with bearing the baby because I had had a miscarriage the last time. This sister was the most bubbly/good excitement person I knew, and I needed that. Of course she was thrilled to come (shopping + new baby = fun), and we formed an unusual but good friendship. She implied that I was good to be with because of my unique sense of humor and outtake on life - I needed her life experiences and enthusiasm/fun. We made time once-a-month by phone, and went thrift store shopping 1x a quarter together. She became my de facto Visiting Teacher until she had the audacity to move out of the state in January. She suffered my oldest to come with us the last few times we went thrift store shopping, and patiently replied back to my daughter about trying on shoes while I found some jeans that were my size (losing an additional 20 lbs of pre-baby mass will make it so your clothes don't fit properly). I still miss her.