The Source of My Discomfort

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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Re: The Source of My Discomfort

Post by SilentDawning » 23 Mar 2018, 09:32

My suggestion is to reduce the footprint in your life of the church. Don't take it as seriously as others do. That is what I did. No one can do anything about it -- unless you want something like a clearance to do an ordinance, or other benefits. But I go to church when its convenient now. I participate like I'm a full fledged member when there, and talk to my friends, volunteer for things I feel are worthwhile, and then go back to my life.

I don't consider myself a half-miler any longer -- I am busy with many other humanitarian projects, self-improvement, etcetera. The church has gotten as much of me as I feel it deserves given the problems my association with it has caused in my life.

So, just don't take it as seriously, and don't feel guilty about it.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"Stage 5 is where you no longer believe the gospel as its literally or traditionally taught. Nonetheless, you find your own way to be active and at peace within it". -- SD

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

My introduction: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1576

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Re: The Source of My Discomfort

Post by NightSG » 23 Mar 2018, 11:01

dande48 wrote:
18 Mar 2018, 19:52
The second was on a guy who testifies on how we died and went to the spirit world, and came back. It was riddled with all kinds of... untraditional doctrine. And he said he was writing it down as scripture for future generations.
Get friendly with him just in case: being in on the founding of a new religion can be quite the opportunity.

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Re: The Source of My Discomfort

Post by Beefster » 23 Mar 2018, 15:32

AmyJ wrote:
23 Mar 2018, 05:29
Beefster wrote:
22 Mar 2018, 17:14
I think I might need to revise this question or add another: "Is is possible for me to be authentic as a NOM? If so, how?" If the lack of authenticity is really the source of my discomfort and pain, then it's authentic or bust for me.
In order to answer the question, you need to be able to define what "authentic" means to you.

I guess another way of looking at it is comparing being authentic to going to the beach and getting into the water. There are a lot of people who love going to the beach who never set foot in the waves - they build sand castles and run alongside the waves, and sunbathe. Are they having an "authentic" beach experience even though they have not set foot in water? Others go out to their knees, or waist and they are good. Still others are more interested in skimming alongside the top riding the waves or body-boarding. These people are getting into the water, but their main goal is not to stay in the water - but ride it back to the shore. Is their experience more or less "authentic" because they are in the water, but aren't staying in the water the entire time?

Part of "authenticity" may include meaning - which you may or may not get from the teachings and from the social circle of your ward/branch.

As near as I can tell, an important part of Stage 4 is breaking down what "being authentic" means to you, and looking at your life in pursuit of that.
To continue with the beach metaphor:

What if "being authentic" involves being nude in the analogy? Sure, that might be the way that you enjoy yourself and feel comfortable, but it makes others present uncomfortable.

Maybe being authentic to me means avoiding the beach altogether because I sunburn easily. Maybe it's better for me to stay inside.

So yeah. I guess that's what it comes down to. I could very well use my energy and time to stay in the church, but the real question is "why?" If I am made more uncomfortable than I benefit from it, it obviously isn't worth it.
Boys are governed by rules. Men are governed by principles.

Sometimes our journeys take us to unexpected places. That is a truly beautiful thing.

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