Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
Posts: 5280
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Post by Roy » 01 Mar 2018, 10:09

lotsofgray wrote:
28 Feb 2018, 19:53
I’m exhausted just think about the decision process! Every meeting you attend with your husband will send the message you are more an more interested. I have to tell my wife no so I can get her even to listen to why I might not want - and even then she doesn’t care and just gets mad. No win either way here...
I hope this doesn't come of as psychoanalysis. I believe that your wife does care. She probably cares too much. The prospect of you not keeping your end of the sealing covenant and breaking up her image of eternal families might scare her. Without the church standards to conform to, the prospect of you becoming an alcoholic womanizer might scare her. Any time you say something disparaging about the church may be perceived as disrespectful of her beliefs as best and as a personal attack at worst.

My advice is to try to came to a point where you both are mutually respectful and considerate. This will not happen overnight and may require you (as the person with the greater awareness of the situation) to take the lead of respect and consideration. It sometimes helps me to think of someone lashing out like that as a wounded animal. They may say or do thoughtless or hurtful things as a reaction to their own internal pain, fear, and anxiety. Knowing this can help me not to take it too personally. (Also like a wounded animal, personal safety is a top consideration. If anyone reading this is in an unsafe situation - please take steps to get safe.)

Just my $0.02
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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Joined: 27 Jul 2017, 05:50

Re: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Post by AmyJ » 02 Mar 2018, 08:55

Roy wrote:
27 Feb 2018, 09:56
I would go and focus on having a good time socially.
I never know anymore whether I will come out ahead socially or not.

Posts: 810
Joined: 27 Jul 2017, 05:50

Re: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Post by AmyJ » 05 Mar 2018, 07:10

We dealt with the horrid stomach bug that was going around last week. I lost 2 days midweek to sickness, and my husband lost the better part of 4 days. He did not push me to go to the Saturday night session, so I stayed home and took care of the family. I don't think he was recovered enough to babysit the girls for the duration that day with it ending well for everyone. I also am glad that I didn't go and infest anyone by accident with any germs if I have them post-sickness.

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