Crisis / + Teaching New Mormonism

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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Crisis / + Teaching New Mormonism

Post by Rebel » 26 Jan 2018, 09:29

I would like ideas to help others in a FC and extend to them the olive branch of adopting new mormonism as defined on the church is true website . I am taking it upon myself to help others in the F C world to lessen the damage done when it comes full circle to them #!!!! Thanks.

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Re: Crisis / + Teaching New Mormonism

Post by Heber13 » 26 Jan 2018, 13:57

I think that is a very personal ministry...which is the way it should be.

You have to ask their thoughts, fears, ideas...have them share what they think or what they are stuck on, or what pains them.

And then you go from there.

I think there are so many different directions it can go...and what makes sense to one person, doesn't fit another.

I think the author of "Shaken Faith Syndrome" (Michael Ash) tried to write a book about that and help those who need to navigate it...and I read the book and found it good but lacking.

I think because each crisis is is pretty hard to address the needs of the individual, which is a very emotional and personal thing...similar to a testimony, which is a very unique and personal thing.

I think you start by being their friend, pointing out it is not a uniquely mormon to have these feelings about faith, and really listen to what they want and what they are needing help with.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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Re: Crisis / + Teaching New Mormonism

Post by churchistrue » 26 Jan 2018, 20:39

Rebel wrote:
26 Jan 2018, 09:29
I would like ideas to help others in a FC and extend to them the olive branch of adopting new mormonism as defined on the church is true website . I am taking it upon myself to help others in the F C world to lessen the damage done when it comes full circle to them #!!!! Thanks.
Hi Rebel, I'm glad you've found comfort in some of my writings. But honestly, what you suggest sounds like a bad idea. lol. Even my wife and kids are smart enough not to take me too seriously.
sharing my view "metaphorical Mormonism" at my blog

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Re: Crisis / + Teaching New Mormonism

Post by mom3 » 26 Jan 2018, 21:58

Having passed a full decade in this mode, and having watched plenty of close friends and family navigate in/out, I have come to the belief, that not everyone in life was destined for this experience.

These aren't blind stage 3ers. Being stage 3 is the fullness of the road they were required to take. We, who get to go a different path, should respect their place. If they come to you, consider answering. But take it carefully and slow. You know the pain of this process, are you comfortable inflicting it on someone else?

None of us can assume how the story will turn out. What if your "instruction" caused another to loose family and friends?

For me, I try to leave gentle calling cards. I select carefully what I say and to whom I say it.

Example- I was asked to VT an incoming RS sister who was moving from YW to RS. She also has chosen to stop participating in church. I know her mom. I told her mom, that if her daughter ever needed someone to talk to about her feelings/issues I was totally able to cover everything, including polygamy, women's issues, church history, anything. Now the ball is in their court. She may just be ticked at her former leaders. She may be closeted LGBT. Who knows? Maybe I will learn someday, maybe not.

I have made clear comments in Relief Society about certain areas. LGBT, our opinion of other faiths, Race and Priesthood. They aren't big but if you strung them together a narrative would appear.

For me I work to honor both sides. I would have been perfectly happy not having this experience. It was/is darkness like I never imagined. Now, though I can totally see where Adam was coming from when he rejoiced at the suffering. I have learned so much.

Everyone needs friends more than they need teachers or coaches.
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

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Re: Crisis / + Teaching New Mormonism

Post by Rebel » 27 Jan 2018, 05:02

Thanks to you guys although I think I was a little misunderstood. I just want to be there for others much like this board is to be a sounding board. Very good advice mom3. Thanks once again always a friend to the board . Rebel.

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Re: Crisis / + Teaching New Mormonism

Post by Curt Sunshine » 28 Jan 2018, 18:40

First, do no harm.

Second, do no harm.

Third, remember: "We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience(s) and allow ALL (people) everywhere the same privilege..."

Fourth, don't try to fix people. Just focus on helping them find their own perspective and, wherever possible, how it can work within the LDS framework.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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Re: Crisis / + Teaching New Mormonism

Post by Roy » 29 Jan 2018, 10:53

I think one of the major difficulties of FC is the black and white literalness "it is all true or all false" dichotomy. Some LDS people that struggle may be comforted by looking at some things more spiritually or metaphorically. Some others will find such an approach to be just so much mumbo jumbo.

If I had someone with a FC that was confiding in me, I would do LOTS of listening and let them know that they are not crazy/faithless and they are not alone.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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