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Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 24 Jan 2018, 18:03
by Beefster
Very thought provoking, Heber. Maybe I just need a break from the teaching aspect or a better cop-out when the lesson on the week I'm supposed to teach clashes with my heterodoxy. (I managed to wiggle my way out of teaching lessons on eternal families)

As for the missionary calendar, I was sure to ask for a do not contact list as soon as the assignment was sprung on me. I also could spearhead that particular assignment in a different way by putting together a spreadsheet with everyone's availability using a Google form. I hate making phone calls. Always have.

The elders are split with a family ward again though, so that alleviates some responsibility. Maybe I'll just set up an arrangement where the family ward gets Mondays + ~2/3 of the other days since YSA wards generally don't have the life situation for feeding the missionaries well.

Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 24 Jan 2018, 20:23
by Curt Sunshine
Remember, if they call you, they get you. They don't get to define who they call; they simply extend the offer. If you accept it, they get you.

What's the worst that can happen? You get released. Wow, how terrible is that? :P

Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 27 Jan 2018, 05:55
by Gerald
My father was a bishop and he told me that one of the most surprising things about that calling was how many people said "no" to callings and how many people asked to be released. My wife was in the primary presidency a number of years ago and one of her teachers gained her release by slapping down the manual in front of her and loudly declaring that she wouldn't be back.

My ultimate point is that those who post on this list take their obligations seriously which is good. That seriousness of purpose is probably what in part led them to this discussion board. But many, many members are simply social Mormons and have little compunction in turning down a calling, or asking for a release OR simply not doing it until they are finally released. I'm not saying this is what should be done but that for those of us (I include myself) who take the commitment they make or will make seriously, a calling is a big deal and asking for a release feels like a significant betrayal of our word and honor. But I would venture that this attitude is in a slight minority in the Church (I know it is in my ward).

Maybe that's why we tend to see the same people in the high profile, high energy callings again and again and again. By the way, this:
The leaders were very clear and adamant that at least 10 hours be spent on the calling per week and we had to turn in logs of our time. Yeah.
is simply nuts! :thumbdown:

Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 29 Jan 2018, 10:31
by Roy
A big part of my effort to StayLDS is sustainability. I have found a happy medium where the benefits I receive from church participation feel pretty even with the costs. Part of that has to do with tithing (a different topic). Another major part of this is what calling I can do and feel competent at that also fits with my work/life balance. I do not think it inappropriate to help leaders know where I can best contribute.

Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 18 Feb 2018, 17:51
by Beefster
I don't think I can really handle this with the care it deserves in person, so I am probably going to have to fall back on less direct methods... Namely a text message. Or perhaps an email.
Release notice draft wrote: I really hate to do this with such a shortage of ward missionaries, but I feel I'm not really able to give my calling the attention and enthusiasm it deserves at this time. I'm not going to be able to do it much longer and would like to ask to be released within the next week or two. I know this comes at a bad time, but I have been dealing with some personal issues recently that make it difficult to put time into my calling. I hope you will understand and I pray that you will find success in calling new ward missionaries.
I'm super scared to do this, but I can't take this calling much longer. Any suggestions before I send it?

This is terrifying. I don't want to be branded a doubter or deserter. I hate that I have to back away at such a bad time for my ward. (The other ward missionary is getting married soon and we don't have any others besides the WML and AWML)

I don't have a YM org or a nursery to ask to be put into and the only music calling I can realistically do is conducting in sacrament meeting, so I don't really have any suggestion options for leverage.

I'm pretty sure I'm already on the bishop's project list and this can only make things worse.

Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 18 Feb 2018, 22:24
by dande48
Beefster wrote:
18 Feb 2018, 17:51
I'm super scared to do this, but I can't take this calling much longer. Any suggestions before I send it?
My two-cents:
- If you sound wishy-washy, they will try to talk you out of it. " I feel I am not... would like... next week or two" sounds wishy-washy.
- Asking to be released is asking for permission.
- Saying your calling is "difficult", translates to "not enough faith, please strengthen me".
- If you mention personal issues, they will inquire.

If sent as is, they will set up an appointment to meet with you. Barring that, they will stop by your place for a suprise visit. I'd try being a little more firm. "After much prayer and consideration, I will no longer be able to serve in this capacity at this time."

Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 19 Feb 2018, 10:29
by Curt Sunshine
What dande48 said. Keep it simple, firm, and focused on your own personal inspiration.

Start with something like, "I am sorry to have to do this, but," then use dande48's suggestion to end it.

In Book of Mormon terms, this is what being an agent unto yourself looks like. It isn't the easy way, but it is the better way.

Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 25 Mar 2018, 16:11
by Beefster
There is no going back. This is what I sent:
The last few months have been a real struggle for me. Just a couple years ago, I would have loved to be a ward missionary and would have been very passionate about it. Things are different now. I feel that at this point in my life, my calling is not taking me in the direction I feel I need to be going. I have thought long and hard about it. I have prayed many times about this and this is what I feel is the best thing for me at this time. I need to be released. I know this comes at a bad time with such a shortage of ward missionaries and I truly am sorry for the position it puts you in.

I would rather not go into detail at this time. It is a deeply personal matter.

Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 26 Mar 2018, 09:33
by Roy
I believe that not having this particular demanding calling may help you immensely.

Someone is likely to ask you more details. they may just be curious or genuinely concerned. You may want to come up with an excuse or just to be vague but hopeful.

Good luck!

Re: Asking to be released...

Posted: 27 Mar 2018, 09:55
by Joni
I didn't ask, I told.

I still haven't been officially "released" over the pulpit but I no longer consider myself as holding that (or any) calling.