Time's Up

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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MockingJay
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Joined: 14 Nov 2013, 06:56
Location: US Southeast

Re: Time's Up

Post by MockingJay » 30 Jan 2018, 07:59

Hi Kipper, I was reading your post and wondered what happened in your meeting with the HPGL and the resulting reaction/consequences.

I know you said you didn't want anyone to say it's never too late, but I'm a rebel at heart, so I'm going to say it anyway. I'm in my 50's and put my dreams on hold for many years to support my husband in his, not that he asked me to. It was a choice I made. The day finally came (I was in my late 40's) when I said screw it and decided it was time to become what I had wanted to be since I was in grade school. My husband thought I was a little nuts but wholeheartedly agreed to support me in attaining my dreams.

It was a big financial risk and took lots and lots and lots of hard work (and still does) but I love it! It has been so worth it and soooo rewarding. I almost gave up several times, but my family and friends continued to encourage me to keep at it. I do need to mention, however, that one bishop told me that pursuing this endeavor was getting in the way of my being able to do greater church service, and since we could live comfortably off my husband's salary, maybe I should find another "hobby." He told me to reexamine my priorities. I thought, Seriously??? :wtf: So glad I chose to ignore him, which he didn't appreciate, but I didn't care. It was none of his business.

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LookingHard
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Re: Time's Up

Post by LookingHard » 30 Jan 2018, 10:34

MockingJay - Good for you and for you being you. Thanks for sharing.

Roy
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Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Time's Up

Post by Roy » 30 Jan 2018, 12:05

Kudos MJ! Life has a way of getting in the way and dreams can change over time. But sometimes they do not change and deserve to be pursued. I honor your heartfelt desire and your choice.
MockingJay wrote:
30 Jan 2018, 07:59
I do need to mention, however, that one bishop told me that pursuing this endeavor was getting in the way of my being able to do greater church service, and since we could live comfortably off my husband's salary, maybe I should find another "hobby." He told me to reexamine my priorities. I thought, Seriously??? :wtf: So glad I chose to ignore him, which he didn't appreciate, but I didn't care. It was none of his business.
I am reminded of the talk from the following thread:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=8315&p=116637&hilit ... on#p116637

The talk is wonderful and something I wish everyone in the church could watch. Eva Witesman, a BYU Marriott School of Business associate professor, gave it as a BYU devotional talk. The actual title is, "Women and Education: 'A Future Only God Could See for You'".

In it she talks about how God can be calling his daughters to fulfill their divine destiny in unique and personal ways. This can include advanced education and career. The men in the church should get out of their way and not become stumbling blocks to their fulfilling what God has placed in their hearts.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

Kipper
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Joined: 27 Aug 2012, 07:45

Re: Time's Up

Post by Kipper » 07 Feb 2018, 17:34

All, I should have kept you up to date right after my meeting. That's inconsiderate considering all the support I get here. It takes me so long to write a paragraph that I never seem to have the time to start but I do apologize. Right not I'm at work at the end of the day so forgive me if it doesn't look like I did a proof read because I didn't.

I did meet with HPGL and the first thing I told him is that I have a testimony of the restoration. I also told him that this was not to be considered a confidential meeting meaning he was free to share whatever we talked about with other leaders.

The impact of my hurt or anger stems from the fact that the window of opportunity has closed. I know it's common encouragement to say it's not to late and I won't go into details but basically I can't afford it, I don't have the time and my age is now a factor meaning I should be experienced by now, not just starting out when I am ready to retire.

I tried not to let too much out but I did say that I was really angry at the church as an institution and I made it clear that my current leaders at the time were doing what they felt was right by the church. I wanted him to know that I squirm sometimes when people say things whether it be in HP meeting or general conference. I told him who I appealed to at the time (high council, former bishop, current bishop and more) and that the responses were always "it will work out" and "we prayed and your name kept coming up" and most importantly how it was a calling right from God himself. The talk went on for an hour 20 minutes so you can be sure there was more. I also talked about some of my earlier years when I was pretty self destructive. It was very friendly, not a bit hostile or like a warning or anything. Of course I was asked if I was reading scriptures and praying always and I answered honestly that not so much any more. Satan's influence was brought up. He offered to fast with me and I said sometime in the future because I'm not going to do something that will make others feel better while I try to reconcile this.

That's all I have time for, I'm sorry I can't go now but I am on OT now.

I can't close without adding that I just received a personal call from the SP first councilor asking to meet him tonight. Not five minutes later I got a call from HPGL just to say hi and ask how I was. I am NOT going to let myself be compelled like a primary child. What happened, happened. Facts are facts.

More later, I promise. Hope others who are in similar situations can get help from these replies somehow.

Kipper
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Joined: 27 Aug 2012, 07:45

Re: Time's Up

Post by Kipper » 07 Feb 2018, 23:04

I was called as Ward Clerk tonight and will be released as SSP. Lots of mixed feelings.

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nibbler
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Re: Time's Up

Post by nibbler » 08 Feb 2018, 08:02

Thanks for the update.

I'm guessing the call with the SP1C was about extending the ward clerk calling (since that calling is one extended by the stake).

The silver lining of extending a new calling to you is that they still want you to be a part of the spiritual community. My head would be racing if I had a talk like that with the HPGL and shortly thereafter I was released with no other calling offered. Sometimes people with issues can become the ward pariah.

And it's a calling that still has a "seat at the table." Meaning a calling that attends local leadership meetings and where you are theoretically free to give your input.
We must all live in the real world... and sometimes that world can be pretty grim. But it is the dream... the hope... that makes the reality worth living.
– Captain America

Kipper
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Joined: 27 Aug 2012, 07:45

Re: Time's Up

Post by Kipper » 08 Feb 2018, 12:47

nibbler wrote:
08 Feb 2018, 08:02
Thanks for the update.

I'm guessing the call with the SP1C was about extending the ward clerk calling (since that calling is one extended by the stake).

The silver lining of extending a new calling to you is that they still want you to be a part of the spiritual community. My head would be racing if I had a talk like that with the HPGL and shortly thereafter I was released with no other calling offered. Sometimes people with issues can become the ward pariah.

And it's a calling that still has a "seat at the table." Meaning a calling that attends local leadership meetings and where you are theoretically free to give your input.
The last thing I was thinking was a new calling, especially since I had a call from SP1C and HPGL within 5 minutes of each other. Yes, this calling keeps me close and valued. I suspect there is no clue what I am going through and they continue to keep stepping me up.

My problem will always be the church isn't a place to come worship, it's a place to take care of administrative duties and also I don't believe in the divine conduit they keep telling me about.

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DarkJedi
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Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: Time's Up

Post by DarkJedi » 08 Feb 2018, 16:34

I agree with Nibbler - you have a seat at the table now, including in bishopric meeting.

And I don't disagree with your assessment of what church is, although sometimes it can be uplifting. I suspect in your position in bishopric meeting you might get some more insight into how the conduit from heaven really works (or doesn't work).
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

My Introduction

Roy
Posts: 4785
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Time's Up

Post by Roy » 08 Feb 2018, 17:20

Kipper wrote:
08 Feb 2018, 12:47
My problem will always be the church isn't a place to come worship, it's a place to take care of administrative duties and also I don't believe in the divine conduit they keep telling me about.
I mentioned on another thread that I participate in other churches to supplement my spirituality. I find different sides to my relationship with the divine that I had never even considered before.

Curt does a good job as seeing the church as a vehicle for service - a place full of people that need your voice and helping hands.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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