Roy wrote: ↑
16 Jan 2018, 12:52
Also in the church we have a model where members are expected to covert based on a testimony of the truthfulness of the work and then endure
unpleasantness because of that testimony. My Elder's Quorum President has repeatedly said that he would rather be outside in nature on Sundays but he feels constrained by his duty to attend church. Church is openly acknowledged to be unpleasant.
Truer words have not been spoken! It always seems to be the members' fault if they go inactive or have loyalty problems -- rarely if ever the church. And they rarely apologize either.
If you come back to activity, I think it would be smart to expect that the church (globally and locally) will probably not change very much. A large part of the burden for integrating yourself in the ward will fall squarely on your shoulders. Want a calling? ask for one. Want to bless or pass sacrament? ask for it. Want home teachers? Ask for them (With the understanding that they will probably not show up 99% of the time). Want to know people? Introduce yourself and make conversation.
Right, and don't expect excellence in executing your requests either, by the local leaders. The church is very much an exercise in patience in many Wards with our unpaid local ministry, and a limited pool of people who often/sometimes are acting out of duty rather than passion for their calling.
Even after doing everything in your power, there will likely still be frustration and personal tension/conflict. I have learned to live with that frustration. I use several coping mechanisms to help me deal with it. I stay because I still believe that the good offered by the church to myself and my family is greater than the bad and frustrating parts. I believe that to be a personal decision and analysis that can be different for every individual person.
Good advice -- we all have our ways of coping. I have learned to accept a certain amount of mediocrity, not to WANT anything from the church, and to reduce my commitment to match the indifference to excellence I see in our local wards. But that often takes self-discipline and posting here to work through it...
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD
"Stage 5 is where you no longer believe the gospel as its literally or traditionally taught. Nonetheless, you find your own way to be active and at peace within it". -- SD
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
My introduction: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1576