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Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Posted: 12 Jan 2018, 17:00
by LookingHard
Sheldon wrote:
12 Jan 2018, 15:36
When I was bishop, my wife didn't like all the new "fake" friends she had. She knew they were just her friend because of my calling, After I was released, they all went away, and she was back to her real friends.

We once had a meeting in our stake with just the bishops and a 70, Elder Gillespie. He told use we needed to delegate everything we could, and spend time with our wife and remain gainfully employed. He said that sadly, too many time the bishops were loosing one or both of those things because of their callings. I know two former bishops that divorced because of their calling. He also said that the average time a bishop serves in the church is under 3 years because of the pressure. They want a minimum of 5 years, but its not happening.
I know of 2 bishops that after about 2 years they moved and I am not convinced it wasn't mainly spurred on by getting out of the calling.

Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Posted: 12 Jan 2018, 17:37
by Curt Sunshine
Being a Bishop is hard. I feel for you.

Feel free to use us in whatever way you need.

Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Posted: 12 Jan 2018, 20:26
by Heber13
I was thinking along the lines Roadrunner shared. Find some things you can do together or agree to so your needs are still met while he has to do his 2nd job. It is a sacrifice for the whole family, for sure. How you choose to handle it is the lessons we draw from these life experiences.

Now that you've shared how you feel...maybe offer him some ideas how he can best be your husband and make quality and quantity time for you and your family.

He may need you as the rudder to keep him on course and not become unrighteous in the home, regardless how he does on the stand. You're important and he will need you, many times. Perhaps others in the ward will need your views as well. You may have an important role to play there. And it doesn't always have to be to smile and bite your tongue. Be yourself. Choose your path.

Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Posted: 13 Jan 2018, 15:14
by SilentDawning
Curt Sunshine wrote:
12 Jan 2018, 17:37
Being a Bishop is hard. I feel for you.

Feel free to use us in whatever way you need.
I wish there was an "extreme like button" for Curt's post above...

Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Posted: 14 Jan 2018, 12:25
by Roy
QuestionAbound wrote:
11 Jan 2018, 21:10
Even when I broke down and told him that I feel like his heart is no longer mine and that I am not at all in this part of his life and that I feel alone, he blamed me for not being supportive and for creating this mess in my head.

I'm sure this is a garbled mess on screen. It sure feels like that in my head.
Dumbledore said "Of course it is all in your head, but that does not make it any less real."

I remember my uncle getting called to the bishopric. Before this happened a number of things went wrong for this family. The husband and wife were both stressed and taking it out on each other. After the calling was extended - they felt that Satan had known that my uncle was going to be asked to do something important in the church and was trying to thwart it. Satan must have planned to get my aunt and uncle to decline the calling for personal and family reasons and thus continue his evil empire.

My aunt and uncle therefore rallied against this evil outside influence and solidified their marriage - determined not to let Satan win.

I remember being super impressed at how the narrative that they (aunt & uncle) used to give meaning to the facts in their experience helped them to change how they felt about those facts.

I am not suggesting that you just blame your troubles on Satan - just pointing out that that different people can see the same events VERY differently.

P.S. I also do not want to minimize real stress and real resource shortages (like quality time). Sometimes we can put a pretty face on those things but they still stink.