Having trouble getting to church

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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willb1993
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Joined: 06 Apr 2014, 18:46

Having trouble getting to church

Post by willb1993 » 12 Nov 2017, 01:09

So if some of you do no know me, I am currently a University student living on my own about 100 miles away from home. I fair fairly well on my own. However, this depression has been an ongoing battle. But with that said, I am having serious trouble going to church. It's not that I don't want to go, but I just seem to be lacking some sort of motivation for it. Because I know the singles ward is a great segway into making friends too. Especially those who are in my peer group.

What frustrates me even more is that whenever my Mom asks if I went to church that day I tell her I did despite not doing so. I feel awful whenever I do this. Most of it is that I don't want to disappoint my parents. I know they won't be disappointed, but I just don't want to make them sad. It's just a really tough situation.

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DarkJedi
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Re: Having trouble getting to church

Post by DarkJedi » 12 Nov 2017, 05:42

Are you seeing a counselor? Colleges often offer counseling for free. My suggestion is bringing it up with a counselor.

There's also the issue of lying to your mom. Just an FYI, she probably knows you're lying. Women, especially moms and wives, know these things.
Women always figure out the truth. Always.
(Han Solo)
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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willb1993
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Re: Having trouble getting to church

Post by willb1993 » 12 Nov 2017, 08:29

DarkJedi wrote:
12 Nov 2017, 05:42
Are you seeing a counselor? Colleges often offer counseling for free. My suggestion is bringing it up with a counselor.

There's also the issue of lying to your mom. Just an FYI, she probably knows you're lying. Women, especially moms and wives, know these things.
Women always figure out the truth. Always.
(Han Solo)
That's very true about women! They seem to have this sort of radar implanted in their brains. Trust me, I hate lying, I really do. But it's sort of a catch-22 with this. Also, yes, I have been seeing a counselor. I see him about once a month back home. I prefer him because he is informed on what is going on. Also, he is LDS; so it does come in handy with that front.

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SamBee
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Re: Having trouble getting to church

Post by SamBee » 12 Nov 2017, 10:52

You sound as if you could do with a UV/SAD lamp as well.

I recommend taking /supplements too.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Having trouble getting to church

Post by Curt Sunshine » 12 Nov 2017, 14:38

I think you should look at techniques like Sam mentioned to help with this. There are various types of depression, and some simple helps for some of them.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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Beefster
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Re: Having trouble getting to church

Post by Beefster » 12 Nov 2017, 18:20

Counselors are wonderful for dealing with depression. They don't solve the chemical aspects that might be involved, but they at least teach you how to frame depressive feelings more rationally so they don't control your life.

As for drugs, it's a crapshoot. The mechanisms that cause depression are not well understood, so most doctors will prescribe pill after pill until something works. Supplements and meditation are honestly more reliable, but they may not be enough on their own and you might be stuck experimenting with various drugs until something works.

I have been taking methylfolate for about a month now and it works wonders for me. It's a supplement, so no prescription is necessary. I'm not 100% not depressed, but I do feel good, generally. I also started taking Vitamin D about a year ago, which really made a difference as well.

I can tell you that there were some weeks I'm surprised I was able to drag myself to church because I was so depressed. There were times when I had breakdowns at church and had to leave early or sit outside. Depression is real, so don't feel ashamed if and when it controls you to the extent of not attending church. Don't make it a habit by any means, but admit it when you don't go and recognize the role of depression in that. I'm not saying depression can be your excuse because it doesn't have to control you, but you know what, there are some times when you are so depressed that going to church would do more damage than staying home.

Moms like to worry about their kids, so I can understand your hesitation in being honest. There are some things I wish I never admitted to my mom because she has lost sleep over it or taken an intensely involved interest in (namely my porn problem), but I think that will be good for me in the end. I know my mom would freak out if she found out I skipped church because of her past experience with family members "falling away." She'd all but disown me if I married outside the temple for similar reasons.
Boys are governed by rules. Men are governed by principles.

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