Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

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Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by DoubtingTom » 09 Nov 2017, 16:23

I wanted to write this brief post to say thank you to everyone who has helped and supported me during my faith transition. You were there for me when I first started doubting, my world was spinning and I needed a landing place to process my thoughts in a safe place. You were there for me when I was released as EQP and told I couldn't baptize my son. You were there when I regained that priviledge after jumping through the right hoops. I have since baptized him and it was a wonderful beautiful bonding experience with my son.

This past year has been a roller coaster but overall I have grown so so much. I have heard so many wonderful perspectives here. But I feel my time as wanting to stay LDS is coming to a close. My mind and heart are no longer in it. I don't agree with many of the doctrines, I don't believe in most of the truth claims, I don't feel like I support and sustain the brethren as prophets, seers, and revelators, and I disagree with many of the social policies. In short, I don't feel very LDS anymore and am ready to pursue my spirituality in other directions.

I will still attend for family reasons, and for that reason will still peruse this forum for thoughts and inspiration about how to make that attendance meaningful. I may even contribute from time to time if that's ok. But in my heart I know I am done with identifying with being mormon. I am proud of my pioneer ancestry but am ready to be a different kind if pioneer in pursuing my own path. I am excited about this phase of my journey. I am ready to let go of parts of my past to embrace my future. I will soon be "coming out" to my family and friends. Until now, this has been a very private journey just shared with my wife. I am at peace and I am happy. Thanks for everything!

- Doubting Tom

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Re: Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by mom3 » 09 Nov 2017, 16:37

In the words of Ray - "May there be a Road"

In the words of Mom - Keep in Touch. We need you.
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

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Re: Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by Roy » 09 Nov 2017, 17:15

This is hard. In some ways I am right there with you. On the other hand, what would be gained by "coming out" but continuing to go to church?

Are you thinking something like an On Own Now approach? Saying that you are not a believer but will continue for secular/family/community reasons?

He seems to have made that work. It seems like a patient and persistent balancing act.

May you have peace and happiness in your journey.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

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Re: Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by nibbler » 10 Nov 2017, 06:59

DoubtingTom wrote:
09 Nov 2017, 16:23
I am proud of my pioneer ancestry but am ready to be a different kind if pioneer in pursuing my own path.
This reminds me of a line from Star Trek Beyond (saw it recently):
You joined [starfleet] to see if you could live up to him [father]. You spent all this time trying to be George Kirk and now you're wondering just what it means to be Jim.
He who sits alone, sleeps alone, and walks alone, who is strenuous and subdues himself alone, will find delight in the solitude of the forest.
— Buddha

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Re: Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by DarkJedi » 10 Nov 2017, 10:20

You are welcome here even if you don't stay. None of us can make the decision of what's best for someone else, and sometimes leaving is the right thing to do. May you find the peace you seek.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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Re: Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by Heber13 » 10 Nov 2017, 10:51

You're a good soul, DT.

Thanks for sharing and helping me learn from your posts and your thoughts on how you handled things you were facing. Thanks for all your contributions.

These things we go through are survivable. You look like you're surviving and moving forward. There is always more to learn and experience. I wish you the best as you journey on.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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Re: Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by Curt Sunshine » 10 Nov 2017, 21:17

There are non-members who attend regularly to support a spouse and/or family. There are members who identify like non-members who do the same thing. "When in Rome..."

God bless you on your journey. I am glad we could stop your free fall and help you find your own equilibrium.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

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Re: Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by FaithfulSkeptic » 14 Nov 2017, 16:27


Best wishes to you and I have enjoyed your posts. I think I'm in a similar place as you now on my faith journey, and I haven't spent as much time here lately at StayLDS for that reason. For family reasons, I still continue to participate in church, but my heart isn't in it. Like you, I don't agree with many of the doctrines and I'm not sure I believe in any of the truth claims. I'm not sure if I even believe in God anymore.

I am glad you are at peace and are happy. I wish you the best on your next steps as a pioneer on your faith journey!
I know of no sign on the doors of our meetinghouses that says, “Your testimony must be this tall to enter.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2014

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Re: Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by dande48 » 14 Nov 2017, 18:26

We've loved having you, DT.
"The whole world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole

"Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure."
-Lemony Snicket

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Re: Heartfelt thanks and (maybe) parting thoughts

Post by LookingHard » 14 Nov 2017, 19:21

I have enjoyed you walking along this path for a bit with me (and others). You know where I live, so if you are ever visiting, let me know and we can get together.

Your a good man.

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