Help talking to a spouse

[Heber13]

I hope it gives you hope to know that people really do get through this and relationships can be even more beautiful and bonded than ever before as is in our case. It did take time (several years) God bless!

Your posts of support are full of hope. Thanks for sharing.

[shethinksdeep]

If you need, start a private journal of thoughts you wish you could wish share with her. Someday down the road you may get to. But you writing/typing it out allows it to still be in your relationship. In the journal express how scared you are. Your sorrows for both of you. Your dreams for just one day. No more than that.

I really love this. ^ This is something I have only recently started to do and it has been helpful so far.

When I initially had my first crack, talking with my husband was disastrous. For roughly a decade I went through a period of never uttering another word to try and keep the peace. It was easier to go silent, and I am pretty sure it saved our marriage - we weren't ready to talk about it. It was necessary for then, but took its toll on me. Only in the last few months have I began to open back up and it is going so much better this time around. We have both matured a lot sense then. However, I am taking things slow, and am still very filtered and careful in what I choose to say because I don't want to dump everything on my husband at once and freak him out.

I have had chronic headaches all along this journey, and its been hitting me more and more that holding in my thoughts and feelings has manifested as tension in my body. After realizing this likely connection, I have decided to try and journal my raw thoughts as a way to empty my mind and purge what is in there without fear of being judged or moving too quick. I think this will also help in reconstructing what my beliefs are so that when the hard discussions do come up (hopefully by working through all of this on paper) I will be able to verbally express what I believe, think, and feel more effectively. I have only been journaling for a short amount of time, but I am feeling hopeful that it will be a great help (even if its not the cure for my headaches).

[mom3]

I really love this. ^ This is something I have only recently started to do and it has been helpful so far.

I am glad. It came to be quite by accident years before any religious upheaval hit my life. It began as a stray act one day while working through a migraine. The issues have nothing to do with LDSness but it has carried me through this process, too.

Try it in all the areas of your life. Set a timer daily and write, uncensored for 20 min. Some days maybe full of happy thoughts. Some maybe anger, stress, resentment, fear. Neither are wrong. Embrace them. You will be discovering you. As long as your headaches aren't from food related issues or injury, I would bet it will help any burdens you are carrying.