I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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mom3
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Joined: 02 Apr 2011, 14:11

Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by mom3 » 07 Mar 2017, 12:03

Look at all these dung hill buddies. I love it.

Image
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

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LookingHard
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Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by LookingHard » 07 Mar 2017, 13:51

I have been thinking about your pain Joni. I still hold on to looking at God a bit like a parent/child relationship - and NOT an angry parent. I think a mature parent that has a kid that yells out, "I hate you" will realize the child is just overwhelmed. So when I get pissed at God, I no longer feel any remorse fro doing so.

Not sure that helps at all, but I do hope things improve quickly.

Joni
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Joined: 22 Nov 2013, 08:36

Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by Joni » 08 Mar 2017, 10:14

I've been to LDS Family Services before and I was seriously unimpressed. I have been seeing a good, non LDS therapist but that's like the second thing we cut when DH lost his job (after the Netflix subscription). Which, who knows, maybe that's exactly what God had in mind.

Thanks all for your support. I especially like what Reuben said about formulas, that makes a lot of sense.

NightSG
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Joined: 09 Feb 2015, 09:35

Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by NightSG » 08 Mar 2017, 16:31

Minyan Man wrote:I recently saw an old movie called: Oh God. With George Burns (God) & John Denver (an ordinary man). The premise of the movie is that God appears to an ordinary man to deliver a message to the rest of the world.
One of my all time favorites. That movie is a gold mine of excellent quotes to make you think about the real nature of things.

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mom3
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Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by mom3 » 10 Mar 2017, 11:03

Joni - I woke up thinking about you this morning, especially the God doesn't love you part. The thought that came to me is "Later Dude". I know that may sound sacrilegious to some, but if we take scripture as verbatim, this being we call God isn't always a Prince. From Adam and Eve down, he has thrown temper tantrums, cursed people, blown up cities, and left people to drown.

In religion we love to paint a God who loves us. Whoever we are, whatever we are doing. One of my favorite oxymorons comes when we (Christians) say God or Jesus loves everyone. Then the disclaimer comes behind it - but since you weren't baptized into my religion, since you haven't been saved as such and such a religion states, in our church if you aren't obedient (and that list can get really wonky as to importance of what to obey) - then you won't be saved, blessed, what ever.

God and I have a personal relationship. There are beings that are Divine Deity to me. However they don't match other's. I don't know if I am the one out of step or they are or we all are.

But plenty of people have looked for God and can't find him. Other's have felt direct abandonment. And other's feel like He's right there.

You are still alive, capable, valuable with or without his approval stamp. Share your talents, look for life's beauty, be life's beauty. You are strong. Honor that. Let God have some space. It's okay. Go ahead love yourself enough for both you and God.
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

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SunbeltRed
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Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by SunbeltRed » 15 Mar 2017, 12:23

I'm sorry Joni.

I don't know that my comments regarding god would be welcome here,or this next comment but the mods can remove it if they like: please don't pay tithing on your unemployment checks. I don't know what church protocol is, nor do I care, but your family needs that money right now and if the whole gospel of prosperity formula actually worked the real miracle would have been your husband not losing his jobs.

Please take care of yourself and your family.

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Heber13
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Location: In the Middle

Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by Heber13 » 15 Mar 2017, 14:08

Thanks for the supportive comment, SBR.

Good to see you here.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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willb1993
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Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by willb1993 » 17 Mar 2017, 23:15

Joni wrote:
03 Mar 2017, 05:05
I've mentioned before that I've had personal revelation, in the celestial room of the temple, that God doesn't love me. (It's okay that you don't believe me. My husband doesn't believe me, either. But I know what I experienced and I can't deny it.)

Well, last Friday God saw fit to take my husband's job away. Again. For the fifth time (so far) since 2008. Despite us paying a full tithe this entire time. Despite every member of my family, including innocent children, praying for this exact thing NOT to happen.

This goes beyond God merely being indifferent. One layoff, you can chalk up to the bad economy. Two is supremely bad luck. But five? This sure feels a lot like God ACTIVELY HATING me and my family.

I find that I simply can't pray anymore. I have nothing more to say to Him. It feels a lot like prayer is how we tell God what He should take away from us next. (For the last several years, my children's prayers have also included the phrase 'please bless that our house won't catch fire.' I fully expect that God will burn our house down any day now, just to teach me a lesson.)

This also puts all of the Church's many many demands into perspective. They don't come out and say it, but it's at least IMPLIED that if you pay tithing/wear ugly underwear/serve in callings whether you like it or not/sit through boring meeting after boring , God will at least like you better than if you DON'T do those things. But I've found that there is nothing I can do to earn the least bit of favor in His eyes, so what the heck is my motivation for doing all these things?

I did tell my husband that I'm not praying anymore and to be fair, he hasn't asked me to say the dinner prayers or anything. (But I'm fully prepared to make a hypocrite of myself, to avoid making a scene in front of the kids.) But I somehow have to go through the rest of my life like this and I've probably got forty years left.

One more thing that really galls me? God took away my husband's job, despite hundreds of prayers to the contrary - yet He demands that we pay tithing on our unemployment checks. Ugh. :evil:
Everyone's situation is different. However, take it from someone who's been struggling themselves with the Gospel: it will get better. Ask for help from the savior, and he will help you! It may not be right away and you may not see it right away; but he can help you. However, I totally understand where you're coming from and at least you are being honest and upfront about it with your husband.

Something I've been told when I discuss my struggles is to serve others. Because when you are serving others, you are serving God. And regarding the "silly" underwear, I really honestly don't think God cares THAT MUCH. I mean he does a little. But remember, he KNOWS what's going on with us personally. As long as you are trying your best, he will take it. That's really all he wants. Is for you to try try your best.

Hope things get better ;)

Joni
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Joined: 22 Nov 2013, 08:36

Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by Joni » 20 Mar 2017, 05:49

According to my husband, yes, we are expected to and we will be paying tithing on unemployment. (He didn't say "we can't afford not to" but I wouldn't be surprised if he was thinking it.)

So God has taken my husband's job away, AGAIN. And we are receiving unemployment checks, a fraction of his previous income, and not some sort of gift. And God has the gall to stand there with His hand outstretched, demanding His cut. I can honestly not think of one nice word to say to or about God in this situation.

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DarkJedi
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Re: I can't anymore. I'm done with God.

Post by DarkJedi » 20 Mar 2017, 06:39

One time when I was fairly young in the church and fairly young in years there was a terrible car accident where I lived. It was a Friday night teen drinking party and five teenagers in a car were killed when the speeding drunk teen driver lost control, hit a tree, and rolled down an embankment flipping several times. One of those kids was the daughter of an inactive member whom I had never met. The EQP called me that Saturday and asked if I would go with him to visit this member at the request of the bishop. The lady, and single mother with the daughter being an only child, was obviously grief stricken. Over and over again she wailed (literally) "Why did God take my baby from me?" and similar statements. Truth is God had nothing to do with it. Granted her judgement was impaired, but her daughter chose to get into a car with a drunk driver and the consequence was horrible. I'm not arguing that the girl chose to die, I'm sure she didn't. But God did not put her in that situation.

Joni, you're blaming God for something that men did. Again, I spent a long time being mad at God in a very similar situation. You can be mad at Him all you want and honestly I don't really care, I'm not defending God and his lack of intervention. I often wonder how we're supposed to believe we're loved by God when awful things happen, and I can't figure out how anyone can believe in the God of the Lost Car Keys. I would not have been a good Jew during or after the Holocaust. I honestly don't believe God loves us individually or knows us each by name and all the other stuff you might here in F&TM or even at GC. I do believe God cares about us (as in all humans) collectively, and I do believe that in some way I don't understand Jesus Christ understands each and every sin and temptation ever known to man - and I include in that LGBT, suicide, homicide, you name it. If Matthew can be believed "And about three o’clock Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (27:46, NRSV). Even if Christ does not understand all sins and temptations and did not "descend below it all" it is clear he understood being forsaken by God, his father and in his case God did have a hand in what was happening.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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