As I have said many times, most of my issues (maybe it is all) seem to focus on the church leadership. That probably says something about me - maybe how I used to lean on them for advice and guidance and feel really burned by them.
So here it goes. And on a side note, I am probably going to take a bit of a hiatus. I need to try and figure out how to untighten my rubber band a bit. Work sure isn't helping on that!
My main issues
Don't feel God in the LDS church.
It is that simple. I do feel what I think is God and often, but I never feel it when listening to top church leaders, listening to correlated lessons, nor have I ever once felt anything but really weird while in the temple. I do feel what I think is God when I help someone in real need and when I just contemplate.
Lack of Honesty by top church leaders
I feel the top church leaders, past and present, have and continue today to lie not be "fully truthful." The essays are one example. They feel to me like their sole purpose is to surrender ground that is already lost. They then frame the issue in a way that a member can feel they are at the bottom of the issue (which I would argue they are not) and then the member can say, "that didn't bother me (much)" and never actually go study the details for themselves. Some of the footnotes are cherry picking things out of context and in some cases actually in context the quotes say the opposite of what is said in the essay. It feels to me that the essays are also a way to have plausible deniability in the future when accused of covering up by saying, "we put it out there, but I guess you just didn't look/study enough" (but buried them in a web site and not really mention them). After more than 2 years after they started being released I asked in High Priests group meeting and NOT ONE person knew about them.
Lack of any Revelations
I can't see any revelations from top leaders in my lifetime, so what is the purpose of having a prophet if in my lifetime they don't give me any meaningful revelations for my time? There is a "revelation" given in 1978 with the priesthood and temple ban, but the essays claim that the ban was a policy. Policy does not require revelation to change it. I have heard what could be considered prophecy be made, but none of it seems to have come to pass.
The top leadership continue to pound that the gospel/church teachings are never changing. The more I dig into history I have to say that I find VERY different teachings that have come and gone (this into to the top leaders not being truthful). I have lost trust in them as someone I can believe in what they say. I don't consider these leaders evil, just no more led by God than anybody else. I do feel they are more than willing to "lie for the lord" and believe the ends (supporting the church) justify the means. Which flows into my next issue.
Lack of Faith in God by church leaders
I don't feel the top leaders act in a way that they truly believe that God is powerful and at the head. Hence the need to "lie for the lord" since he isn't powerful enough to handle things himself and we need to help him because his message and his spirit are not strong enough to stand for themselves. I grew up where I remember being constantly told that basically "if you open an anti-Mormon book, you will lose the spirit and you will be in the snare of the devil" Trying to use logic with this, I can't come to any other conclusion than anti-Mormon books and Satan are more powerful than God and scripture. We constantly teach that people need to read the Book of Mormon and if they pray about it God will tell them it is true. But if someone reads a book that is critical of the church, Satan will have a hold on them. Which implies that a person's salvation depends on the right book getting to them first.
Top church leaders not fulfilling roles
I see many, many in the church really struggling with church history, church policy on gays, etc. The people that are hurting the most are those that are "all in the church" for most all their life. They are looking for answers. What they generally get is "do more of the same" and "don't trust everything you read." Those are not answers. Then I hear Elder Ballard in a talk say to a struggling young man (paraphrasing), "Write all your questions and bring them to me and I will answer them, but first read the Book of Mormon." When the young man returned he stated after reading the Book of Mormon he had no more questions. I won't go into what someone is supposed to do if they read the Book of Mormon and still have questions, but instead focus on how Elder Ballard says he has answers. If he is an apostle and he has answers to questions that a LOT of church members have and are really struggling with, WHY IS HE NOT SHARING THOSE ANSWERS?