Gone to a Better Place

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
Eternity4me
Posts: 76
Joined: 25 Aug 2014, 10:21

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by Eternity4me » 03 Dec 2014, 22:25

MockingJay, I am so sorry for your loss. They say time heals all wounds, but don't believe it. The hurt softens, but it never really goes away. I tell myself that I still hurt because I love. And I am grateful for that love. My FC came after my loss, but when I lost my husband unexpectedly, I had to know where he was. I was desperate to know what it was like where he was. Was he really anywhere and would I really see him again? And most important to me was would he remember me and still love me and watch over me and the children? I prayed and did feel some comfort at the time, but the thing that helped me the most was reading about other people's near death experiences. There are some amazing books and stories out there. There are so many similarities between the stories that I believe them. It is not just a hope for me, but a belief after all the reading I did. That gave me the greatest healing. I didn't need supposition or prognosticating, I wanted to know what other people had actually experienced. I encourage you to read some of them. They are readily available on Amazon.com. I know that there is something there beyond this life. I know that those who have experienced it and come back feel incredible joy at what lies beyond. They feel LOVE. So much love. It doesn't matter their religion, these people feel love, and they are often surrounded by family and friends who have passed on before them.

Interestingly, there was one I read that I bought at Deseret Book called I Stand All Amazed. Her NDE is so vivid, and you will be amazed at what she sees. She was not a member of the church at the time it occurred. Perhaps if you read some of these experiences, you will find comfort in where you father is. It gave me the comfort nothing else did.

I am glad you are here and felt the desire to share. Everyone's experiences here have helped me so much. I pray you find some measure of comfort here too.

User avatar
LookingHard
Posts: 2905
Joined: 20 Oct 2014, 12:11

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by LookingHard » 04 Dec 2014, 03:57

Eternity4me wrote:Perhaps if you read some of these experiences, you will find comfort in where you father is.
I lost a younger brother just a year after his mission. My mom also took great comfort in reading about NDE (Near Death Experiences). Best of luck.

Thankful
Posts: 80
Joined: 11 Mar 2012, 20:54

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by Thankful » 04 Dec 2014, 23:24

I'm so sorry.

User avatar
MockingJay
Posts: 208
Joined: 14 Nov 2013, 06:56
Location: US Southeast

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by MockingJay » 05 Dec 2014, 10:24

Thank you all for your kind words of support and comfort. I knew bringing my sorrows here was the right thing. Each comment has had something of value for me. I especially love the comments about hope. They helped clear things up for me. It's helped me not be afraid to believe what I feel in my heart and soul. One of the products of my FC is fear of trusting my feelings. I think this experince is helping me see that it's OK to trust what my heart is telling me and not to be afraid of feelings that, well, feel good. :smile:

I also liked Eternity4me's suggestion about NDE's and Intothelight posting the video about one on a different thread. I'll have to look into "I stand all amazed."

Thanks to mom3, Heber13, Ray, Nibbler and SD. Heber13, I loved what you said about talking to your dad. I've starting doing that a little. It helps.

I know this will be a long road, but I also know Dad would not want me sitting around being miserable. For now, I'm going to trust that he's there looking out for and helping our family, just like he's always done.

afterall
Posts: 331
Joined: 09 Jan 2012, 09:57

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by afterall » 05 Dec 2014, 17:30

MockingJay, I am so sorry for your loss. I tried to post last night but had log in difficulties (Thanks Brian for getting me going again!) I won't go into my own loss situations but the most recent one was within the year and it was a grown child. My husband has struggled through with his faith. He never struggled before. I had some church struggles but really believe,down in my gut, in life after death and I did better overall. Part of why is that I truly believe with all my heart there is much more beyond this. I wasn't brought up in a religious home and my religious experiences were sought after from an early age and never taken for granted. I view those who have gone on as being in the next room.

I have always pursued reading about near death experiences. When we were hit with our tragedy last year, we immediately bought every new book on the market and started reading. One of great interest was by this renown neurosurgeon. http://www.ebenalexander.com/ This man would have never endorsed the idea of near death experiences until his own occurred. More and more actual research is being carried out now and will be in the future.

Most hospice nurses can share observed situations regarding the dying process and visits from loved ones beyond. We witnessed one with my own mother's death.

I also talk to my loved ones. I have felt their presence in certain situations, especially when I was in a close to death situation myself. There is hope. Believe.

A good grief therapist is worth his/her weight in gold! I totally endorse this idea!

Ann
Posts: 2572
Joined: 09 Sep 2012, 02:17

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by Ann » 08 Dec 2014, 19:09

Hi, MockingJay. I can only add condolences, and I think you've come to a good place for advice. I hope you're getting your bearings.
"Preachers err by trying to talk people into belief; better they reveal the radiance of their own discovery." - Joseph Campbell

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

"Therefore they said unto him, How were thine eyes opened? He answered and said unto them, A man that is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes...." - John 9:10-11

User avatar
West
Posts: 215
Joined: 26 Aug 2014, 14:42

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by West » 08 Dec 2014, 21:26

I am so sorry for your loss, MockingJay. I am afraid of losing my own father every day due to his extensive health conditions. We've had a couple close calls; actually, a few of them happened to coincide right in the depths of my FC. And those were some of the hardest and darkest days of my life so far. So I know how you feel.

I've lost a lot of good friends and family back before my FC, many so young that it hurts to think back on it, even after so many years have passed. Our church ward has lost three beautiful young women between the ages of twelve and sixteen over the past decade or two among many other untimely deaths. Those deaths are sometimes the hardest when you're looking in on the families that are grieving. I'm not a stranger to Mormon funerals in the least. But every time, even before my FC, it's been difficult to comprehend that they were here and living just days ago. And now they're gone. It's like trying to catch moonlight in your hand, and it's so frustrating.

I don't know what happens after death. My experiences and the private experiences of those close to me tells me that there is so, so much in this existence that we do not understand. And for whatever reason, that has brought me an incredible amount of comfort. What comes after death is just one of those many things that we don't understand. Something that, I think, is best if we never really do understand until we've reached it.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. -Helen Keller
I hope you don't completely discount your emotions. They may be an untrustworthy sort, but I like to think we need them.
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein

And God said 'Love Your Enemy,' and I obeyed him and loved myself. -Kahlil Gibran

User avatar
Holy Cow
Posts: 297
Joined: 10 Nov 2014, 17:07
Location: Las Vegas

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by Holy Cow » 11 Dec 2014, 11:05

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! I know in these circumstances, people try to find something comforting to say, but really there's nothing that can be said to make that pain go away. My wife lost her 50-year old mother about a year ago and she was shocked by how people would make insensitive comments, even though they were just trying to help. Members from her mother's ward were telling her how they could feel her mother's spirit close to them in their home, and a couple of people said that they saw her mother in the temple, and things like that. My wife's reaction was, "Why would my mother visit people in their homes and in the temple, but she wouldn't visit me and my sisters?" I think in the LDS church, we're told all of these miraculous stories that people have experienced, and it makes people feel like they have to have their own miracles, and then tell everybody about them. I get sick of the fish stories. And I agree with my wife. Her mother wouldn't be out visiting random ward members as a spirit, instead of visiting her family members. Some people just think that sharing stories like that will somehow be helpful to somebody who is mourning, when they really should just keep their mouths shut.
Personally, I do believe there is a God. And, I believe that if there is a God, then there must be something after this life. Otherwise, what's the point of it all? That's my personal perspective. I don't believe that there are 3 kingdoms, or that we need to go through a bunch of ceremonies and rituals to get to the other side. I personally believe that most of that came from Joseph Smith and freemasonry. I also don't think that we, as LDS people, have exclusive rights to heaven. I have more non-LDS friends than members, and most of them believe in some form of heaven, and that they'll see their loved ones again after this life. I have to roll my eyes when I hear comments in Sunday School from ignorant people who claim that only LDS people know where we're going after this life.
So, is there an afterlife? I believe there is. There's no way to know that with certainty, but that's where faith comes in. Faith in most things doesn't come easy to me, so I don't say this lightly, but I do have faith that our spirits will continue to live on after our bodies are gone.
Just my two cents...
My introduction: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=6139

intothelight
Posts: 48
Joined: 26 Oct 2013, 23:56

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by intothelight » 14 Dec 2014, 20:59

I am sorry for your loss. But, if you were to say I didn't understand, you would be right. I don't think there is an answer for the bad things that happen in life. I mean, it appears adequate, until we are thrust into hell by something that happens. The achilles heel of christianity I guess. We espouse God to be good and all powerful, and yet awful things happen. But, we can ignore this fact until the unspeakable happens to us. I would like to recommend CS Lewis' "A Grief Observed". For me at least, it helped that someone else was able to speak some of what I felt inside. Also, the videos by Howard Storm on youtube where it talks about what Jesus is like also helped me. And above all that Jesus does not want bad things to happen to us. That unlike what I'd been taught all my life, every trial wasn't good or approved of by Jesus. Some things I think he is as sad to see them happen as we are. After I got some of my anger out at Jesus and God, it helped to be assured of what I still wanted to believe - that they were good and kind.

If I were to offer one piece of advice, it would be to let happiness in again when it comes knocking. Don't let pain keep the curtains of happiness drawn for too long.

God Bless.

User avatar
MockingJay
Posts: 208
Joined: 14 Nov 2013, 06:56
Location: US Southeast

Re: Gone to a Better Place

Post by MockingJay » 17 Dec 2014, 07:08

If I were to offer one piece of advice, it would be to let happiness in again when it comes knocking. Don't let pain keep the curtains of happiness drawn for too long.

God Bless.
intothelight
:thumbup:

Wow, this "knocked" my socks off. Thanks for this most perfect and excellent advice. I'll listen more carefully for that faint knocking.

I'm getting to where I can make it through a few days at a time w/o crying now. Having it be Christmastime is making it more of a challenge. My mom lives with us and DH is far away for work reasons, so those are extra challenges. We did decorate the house though. Wasn't sure I'd be able to for a while there. It's actually helped because seeing the ornaments is like saying hello to old freinds. It also reminds me how much peace I find in the teachings of Jesus. When everyhing else is stripped away, I find pure human truth there.

Holy Cow said:
Personally, I do believe there is a God. And, I believe that if there is a God, then there must be something after this life. Otherwise, what's the point of it all? That's my personal perspective. I don't believe that there are 3 kingdoms, or that we need to go through a bunch of ceremonies and rituals to get to the other side. I personally believe that most of that came from Joseph Smith and freemasonry. I also don't think that we, as LDS people, have exclusive rights to heaven. I have more non-LDS friends than members, and most of them believe in some form of heaven, and that they'll see their loved ones again after this life. I have to roll my eyes when I hear comments in Sunday School from ignorant people who claim that only LDS people know where we're going after this life.
So, is there an afterlife? I believe there is. There's no way to know that with certainty, but that's where faith comes in. Faith in most things doesn't come easy to me, so I don't say this lightly, but I do have faith that our spirits will continue to live on after our bodies are gone.
Just my two cents..
Thanks for this. I think this is very close to what I'm coming to beleive too. Stumbling on info about JS and the freemasonry-temple connection is what caused my shelf to crash down and started my FC many years ago.

Post Reply