Do any of you drink coffee?

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
amateurparent
Posts: 953
Joined: 19 Jan 2014, 20:43

No .. But I would like to!

Post by amateurparent » 14 Feb 2015, 06:17

I love the taste of coffee. I love the way it smells. I love the social elements of going out for coffee with colleagues.
That being stated, I do not drink it. I order herbal tea and work very hard to look like I am enjoying it.

Why? Because I don't want anyone to say I left the church because I had problems with the WoW.

For me and my journey, distancing myself from the church needs to be about the history and tenets of the belief. I don't want anyone to look at my life and come up with an easy excuse for way I left. ( And yes .. I know they will anyway.)

A second reason .. Even more important than the first .. Is that while I am slowly (at a snails pace) leaving the church, my husband is a devote apologist. We are very supportive of one another, and I wouldn't want to do anything that made him uncomfortable. Having people come ask him about his wife swilling coffee -- and I would want margaritas too -- would definitely cause him some discomfort.

Be honest with yourself .. Honest in your relationships .. And kind. That is all any of us can do. . Whether that includes coffee, no one but you has that answer.
I have no advance degrees in parenting. No national credentials. I am an amateur parent. I read, study, and learn all I can to be the best parent possible. Every time I think I have reached expert status with one child for one stage in their life, something changes and I am back to amateur status again. Now when I really mess up, I just apologize to my child, and explain that I am indeed an amateur .. I'm still learning how to do this right.

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LookingHard
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Re: No .. But I would like to!

Post by LookingHard » 14 Feb 2015, 08:39

amateurparent wrote:Be honest with yourself .. Honest in your relationships .. And kind. That is all any of us can do. . Whether that includes coffee, no one but you has that answer.
Well for some of us we can't even do that. That does bother me as my marriage already had enough issues.

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SamBee
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Joined: 14 Mar 2010, 04:55

Re: Do any of you drink coffee?

Post by SamBee » 14 Feb 2015, 08:42

Coffee - proper bean stuff - smells gorgeous.

But so do cigars and pipe tobacco.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

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Heber13
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Location: In the Middle

Do I have to?

Post by Heber13 » 14 Feb 2015, 10:45

amateurparent wrote:I love the taste of coffee. I love the way it smells. I love the social elements of going out for coffee with colleagues.
...
Why? Because I don't want anyone to say I left the church because I had problems with the WoW.
I like how you shared your thoughts about your journey, amateurparent. And the reasons you don't drink it. I respect those. And yes...being honest with yourself helps bring peace.

I don't think it is a big deal to people outside the church, just to people in the church.

I have colleagues at work who don't drink coffee...I've heard others ask why and they just say they never have been a drinker of it, don't care for it, trying to cut down on caffeine...and the discussion moves on. No one seems to think much about those who do or don't.

Except mormons. We see someone else in the church sipping the high octane rocket fuel, and think they're obviously not faithful to God or are slipping into darkness into the grips of the Adversary. We see others not members of the church and think they are missing blessings from God and would be healthier if they were only taught truth. There are such dramatic stories about it.

We put such grand eternal perspectives on a little cup of hot liquid.

I have my view of the Word of Wisdom. I'm honest with myself. I don't think I need to drink it, or will be affected if I do. What I do think is important are the relationships I have with those around me. I'm in a mormon culture and family and I'm mormon.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

amateurparent
Posts: 953
Joined: 19 Jan 2014, 20:43

Re: Do any of you drink coffee?

Post by amateurparent » 15 Feb 2015, 05:34

ThinkingHard:
"Well for some of us we can't even do that. That does bother me as my marriage already had enough issues."
As newlyweds, my husband came home from work and offered to take me out. He didn't tell me that he was exhausted --he wanted to please me. I was worn out from work too .. but felt an obligation to go along with his suggestion. Through a process of trying to please one another, and not being honest, we ended seeing a movie neither one of us wanted to see. Going home, we had a discussion about doing the right thing to take care of a spouse. Each of us felt that we had sacrificed more. It turned into our first fight. We realized that neither one of us had wanted to go out, neither one of us wanted to see the movie ... But both of us was hiding our real wants/needs in an attempt to take care of the other.

As time has gone on, we have learned that having honest conversations is important. We give honesty and kindness. The other person gets to chose their own emotional response. As I am getting further from the church, those conversations haven't always been comfortable, but that's okay.
I have no advance degrees in parenting. No national credentials. I am an amateur parent. I read, study, and learn all I can to be the best parent possible. Every time I think I have reached expert status with one child for one stage in their life, something changes and I am back to amateur status again. Now when I really mess up, I just apologize to my child, and explain that I am indeed an amateur .. I'm still learning how to do this right.

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taletotell
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Joined: 20 Feb 2015, 08:11

Re: Do any of you drink coffee?

Post by taletotell » 20 Feb 2015, 14:23

amateurparent wrote:
As time has gone on, we have learned that having honest conversations is important. We give honesty and kindness. The other person gets to chose their own emotional response. As I am getting further from the church, those conversations haven't always been comfortable, but that's okay.
I apply the milk before meat principle to this. I realized I had been falling away for a long time when my fc finally surfaced. If I had dumped it on my wife then and there it would have been cruel. She seems to be nearing a FC too, and I want to help her through it, but I don't want to push her into it and end up having it drive in a wedge where there should be love.
I tell her bits and pieces of what I have found when she seems receptive, and I bare testimony of what I still believe as I go so she knows where I stand.
That said, I want coffee and have told her so, but that I won't drink it unless she feels comfortable, and I won't go behind her back.

Ann
Posts: 2576
Joined: 09 Sep 2012, 02:17

Re: Do any of you drink coffee?

Post by Ann » 20 Feb 2015, 14:45

amateurparent wrote:
As newlyweds, my husband came home from work and offered to take me out. He didn't tell me that he was exhausted --he wanted to please me. I was worn out from work too .. but felt an obligation to go along with his suggestion. Through a process of trying to please one another, and not being honest, we ended seeing a movie neither one of us wanted to see. Going home, we had a discussion about doing the right thing to take care of a spouse. Each of us felt that we had sacrificed more. It turned into our first fight. We realized that neither one of us had wanted to go out, neither one of us wanted to see the movie ... But both of us was hiding our real wants/needs in an attempt to take care of the other.
Great story!

Some of my siblings left the church and started drinking coffee. For various reasons most have stopped. I try to content myself with coffee ice cream, which is heaven on earth.
"Preachers err by trying to talk people into belief; better they reveal the radiance of their own discovery." - Joseph Campbell

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

"Therefore they said unto him, How were thine eyes opened? He answered and said unto them, A man that is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes...." - John 9:10-11

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mom3
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Joined: 02 Apr 2011, 14:11

Re: Do any of you drink coffee?

Post by mom3 » 20 Feb 2015, 14:59

Coffee - proper bean stuff - smells gorgeous.

But so do cigars and pipe tobacco.
:thumbup:
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

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SamBee
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Joined: 14 Mar 2010, 04:55

Re: Do any of you drink coffee?

Post by SamBee » 20 Mar 2015, 02:14

Coffee hardens your stool and can rip your guts to shreds as a result... this is putting it delicately. Piles and rectal bleeding (blood in poop) are not something most people desire.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

Minyan Man
Posts: 1971
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: Do any of you drink coffee?

Post by Minyan Man » 20 Mar 2015, 06:55

SamBee wrote:Coffee hardens your stool and can rip your guts to shreds as a result... this is putting it delicately. Piles and rectal bleeding (blood in poop) are not something most people desire.
That's something you'll never see in a Starbuck's ad.

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