Ugly Call From The Folks

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
Minyan Man
Posts: 1929
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: Ugly Call From The Folks

Post by Minyan Man » 15 Jun 2014, 07:44

intothelight, I like what you said:
To be honest, I think they are a bit ashamed of how they lost their composure. But I guess they feel about me about the same way I might feel towards a child who told me tarot card readings and witchcraft were helping them draw close to God. At the end of the day, nothing I can say will ever convince them. But if I can show them you can still be good and well adjusted in ways they also accept as being good without being totally active in the church, then at least I can alleviate some of the torture their minds are feeling right now.
It is real moments like this that can lead us into having a "real" discussion as adults within a family.

I have (3) adult children & none are active in the church. All of them are well adjusted with lives of their own.
They are married with children & careers. I couldn't be happier or prouder. (is that a word?)
We have had ups & downs. They can talk with me about anything. I can do the same with them. We don't always agree.
We do respect each other & don't try to take the world seriously. I wish I would of had the same relationship with my parents.

It is moments like what you're going through where the parents realize (hopefully):
1. the child is an adult now.
2. the adult (child) is making their own decisions & living with the consequences.
3. we can still be friends & respect each other's views & opinions.

I wish you the best.

Posts: 62
Joined: 18 Mar 2014, 19:28

Re: Ugly Call From The Folks

Post by wornoutsneakers » 15 Jun 2014, 19:20


just a random thought. if they are going on a mission (im sorry if you mentioned where i didnt catch it), i wonder how well they are going to do of bringing in former members into the ward, branch, etc, where they go. I hope im not straying too far from your thread, and i apologize, but it always amazes me how many people in our church only want to focus on converting people and not trying to reclaim members. And im not referring to you. Im saying, with their attitude, i bet they wont be very successful of getting inactives or less actives to come back. I see this type of behavior in my ward and it makes me cringe. Love, acceptance, charity, forgiveness...thats what we all need to possess.

Curt Sunshine
Site Admin
Posts: 16804
Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: Ugly Call From The Folks

Post by Curt Sunshine » 15 Jun 2014, 20:15

Fwiw, it might be very different for people with whom they don't feel intensely invested. Unfortunately, that also is human nature.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

Posts: 48
Joined: 26 Oct 2013, 23:56

Re: Ugly Call From The Folks

Post by intothelight » 16 Jun 2014, 23:49

Yes, I agree. They were scared. And they acted in accordance with being scared. And perhaps even more true is the fact that they viewed me as being the corrupting factor for other members of the family. Just like one of us might rationalize saying or doing harsh things to protect someone else.

As far as how successful they'll be on their mission. Well, they are very kind. And the world needs more of that than they need anything else. As Ray said, they're not so vested in "random" people - so I expect their reaction will be far less harsh - should they encounter any other deadly spreading colonies of Korihor-like flesh-eating bacteria such as myself :)

They are in a hard spot. The church doesn't exactly allow them to have an open mind. It took me years to separate God and the church - with lots of pain involved. I can't expect them to change overnight - even if maybe in an ideal world they should. People need time to change. The trick isn't to change a person, but to feed their desire to change (aka the light of Christ) - with the love and acceptance it needs. After I cut myself, I don't try to glue the skin back together - I treat it gently and it heals itself.

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