5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

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hawkgrrrl
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5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

Post by hawkgrrrl » 27 Jan 2014, 10:55

Interesting article. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/chu ... our-church

The 5 reasons (you can skim the article on your own):
1 - I'm not being fed. You should be a contributor, not just a consumer.
2 - It's getting too big. Mormon equivalent might be feeling you don't have close friends in your ward.
3 - I don't agree with everything that's being preached. We're all learning and growing and making mistakes, no matter our position. Staying adds diversity to that process.
4 - My needs aren't being met. The church doesn't exist to meet your needs but you exist to meet the needs of the world through your church.
5 - Unresolved conflict. Repentance, forgiveness and grace are all the process of becoming like Christ. Leaving when we experience conflict shortchanges our growth.

I think for many of us, #1, #3 and #4 are the biggest reasons we struggle with. What do you think of the author's arguments?

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mercyngrace
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Re: 5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

Post by mercyngrace » 27 Jan 2014, 11:03

Interesting.

I think 3 and 4 could be valid reasons.

Obviously some doctrinal differences matter enough to cause a split otherwise a whole lot of folks would still be Catholic, right?

And while I'm a big fan of being a contributor, I do believe that there should be some reciprocity. Zion doesn't impoverish you (spiritually or materially) to elevate your neighbor. It enriches both of you. While I could make an argument about Christ becoming impoverished to make us rich (indeed, Paul already did), I do believe that a church, if it is attempting to be a community should meet the needs of all participants to the degree it is able. Ideally, those needs should be met as part of meeting the needs of the world.

But those are just thoughts on the synopsis - I may rethink the position once I've read the article. LOL.
Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. ~ Luke 7:47

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mackay11
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Re: 5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

Post by mackay11 » 27 Jan 2014, 11:53

I'm still wondering about '3' - is it ok to keep going to church if you reach a different conclusion? What if you know the message being taught to your kids lacks nuance/open-mind... simply a "do it/obey" approach to the world?

If I ever leave, it would most likely be because of something like '3.'

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hawkgrrrl
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Re: 5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

Post by hawkgrrrl » 27 Jan 2014, 14:39

Well, the author was a pastor (which I find interesting in and of itself). I wasn't sure I found the reasons super convincing. I agree there needs to be some reciprocity, although it occurs to me that maybe that's partly generational. I think my parents' generation operates much more based on duty and respect for authority than I do. I tend to operate based on my personal values and being skeptical of authority.

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mackay11
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Re: 5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

Post by mackay11 » 27 Jan 2014, 14:46

3 - I don't agree with everything that's being preached. We're all learning and growing and making mistakes, no matter our position. Staying adds diversity to that process.
Reading this again, I think I might adapt my previous comment.

I already don't agree with everything that is said at church. But I'm still there. If ever I get to the stage that I don't agree with anything then it will be a problem. I don't think even some of the most T or TBMs agree with everything preached and they don't up-sticks and leave. I know they sometimes don't agree with everything said because I "add diversity" and sometimes even get to "preach."

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SilentDawning
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Re: 5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

Post by SilentDawning » 27 Jan 2014, 15:22

I don't like #1 at all. Many of us are here because we contributed long and hard for many years and got burned out. Also #1 perpetuates the myth that if you're not happy in the church, it's your fault, by implication.

Also, people go through phases of being a feeder and feedee. The other thing that statement does is remove accountability to the church to provide a good experience. If anyone can show up, do a terrible job consistently, and its the member's fault if its bad, it encourages mediocrity.

The others, maybe...i had trouble thinking about them because 1 hit me like a ton of bricks.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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On Own Now
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Re: 5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

Post by On Own Now » 27 Jan 2014, 15:50

Like SD, I found #1 not terribly satisfying. I did laugh at the part that said, "Remember, your call is not just to be a disciple but to make disciples" but then I realized he probably wasn't talking about the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.

I was more troubled, though, by #4... especially when he said, "the Church actually isn’t about you. It’s about Jesus. It’s his Church. He came for it. He died for it. He redeemed it." Yikes. These statements make the LDS church ego-centrism look tame. Somehow I have a hard time picturing Jesus of Nazareth saying anything like this. PS, I think he died for the ungodly, so that they might be raised up to a new life (see Romans).

All in all, I think the author makes some good points, but carries it too far. I think every one of the 'bad' reasons he gives are perfectly valid reasons if they are serious enough.
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“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ― Carl Jung
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"Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another." ― Romans 14:13
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cwald
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Post by cwald » 27 Jan 2014, 19:04

I pretty well disagree with every part of this article.

I think, if carried to far, all of these are valid reasons to leave your church.

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  Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn't participate enthusiastically. - Robert Kirby

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baldzach
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Re:

Post by baldzach » 27 Jan 2014, 20:56

cwald wrote:I pretty well disagree with every part of this article.

I think, if carried to far, all of these are valid reasons to leave your church.
I pretty much agree. On the other hand, it is nice to see that the attitudes of church leaders towards the activity level of their congregations isn't an LDS-specific phenomenon.

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hawkgrrrl
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Re: 5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

Post by hawkgrrrl » 27 Jan 2014, 23:09

Yes, I'm always fascinated to see what other faiths are talking about in terms of retention. They all seem to be concerned about it.

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