conflicted testimony wrote:Simply saying "I want one because they are cute and fluffy" doesn't work, neither does "I don't want to go to church because I don't feel like it" (which is where they are at right now).
With kids, they need boundaries and they need parents. As much as I love my kids, I can't go ask them what they want to do on everything...sometimes they need to get with the family program and be a part of what goes on in our house.
As they get older, they'll test the boundaries and they'll either rebel or find independence one way or another. So it takes loving patience (and sometimes long-suffering) to guide them without forcing them without being an irresponsible parent.
I have found talking to them a lot helps. We may not agree, and they may have to go to church or have other privileges taken away, but at least we talk about it to try to understand each other.
My 18 yr old daughter just left for college last week. With her, I made her go when she was young, she didn't want to go when there was YW drama but I made her go because that wasn't a good reason. Then she wanted to go and was completely dedicated, getting her YW award at age 14. By the time she was 17 she stopped going because she could no longer believe the church was what it claimed to be. That is a more valid reason, especially as she substituted this church service with going to church with friends...so she was searching and I could not blame her. The weeks before she left for college, she chose to go to church with me on her own. She just liked the feeling of it, even if she has questions about it.
I like to see the kids take it serious they are thinking about church, and their feelings around it. If they are just being lazy and don't want to go...well, then I make them so they get guidance.
But yes, my daughter was judged and told she was falling away and she needed to see the bishop. That did NOT help her want to come back. But she did when she wanted to and when she didn't care so much about the judging eye of others to the feeling she wanted to be there. Dealing with other people is part of the journey.