Being honest with myself.

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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wayfarer
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Being honest with myself.

Post by wayfarer » 26 Sep 2012, 14:48

I am sitting here this evening, just thinking. I read somewhere today that the church isn't so much about truth as it is about authority: that god has appointed a living prophet, and he is the authoritative source of all I need to know and be happy. All I need to do is follow the prophet and I will never be led astray.

I can fake it 'til the cows come home. I don't believe it. I don't accept it. It's a control drama I refuse to buy into.

I will forge my way in this faith tradition because I must, and I really haven't seen better. But you want to know what I really believe? None of it.

I am sorry if I am in a moment of candor. It is what I honestly feel right here right now.
"Those who speak don't know, those who know don't speak." Lao Tzu.
My seat in the bloggernacle: http://wayfaringfool.blogspot.com

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Being honest with myself.

Post by Curt Sunshine » 26 Sep 2012, 15:00

Some days / weeks / months are harder than others. This too shall pass, methinks - the extreme, not the concerns or disagreements.
I read somewhere today that the church isn't so much about truth as it is about authority: that god has appointed a living prophet, and he is the authoritative source of all I need to know and be happy. All I need to do is follow the prophet and I will never be led astray.
Hogwash. the end

Wouldn't it be cool if it was that easy? :shock:

Actually, it wouldn't be. I want the growth I've experienced trying to figure out the details of my own faith.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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wayfarer
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Being honest with myself.

Post by wayfarer » 26 Sep 2012, 15:07

Ray, alls I kin say is that I am hurting right now... I don't know why...
"Those who speak don't know, those who know don't speak." Lao Tzu.
My seat in the bloggernacle: http://wayfaringfool.blogspot.com

Outofstep
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Re: Being honest with myself.

Post by Outofstep » 26 Sep 2012, 16:07

Wayfarer,

Would it help to tell you that your words of inspiration often keep me going? Your words, and the words of other posters on this board, are often what is going through my head as I sit in SS. I have actually had days when I literally held the seat of my chair, to keep myself from running out of the door.

I have found, that by reading many of the posts here, I can be an active member of the church without having to believe in the literalness of it.

It must have been in January or February when it started to get better. That is when we discussed 1 Nephi 3:7. It hit me that I can find something of value to learn on each Sunday. Really, anytime I study. For the previous three years I refused to "hear" anything good. Now, I combine that with Jesus' command to love others as I love myself, and I try to be a better person. And I try to do it for the love of the Lord, and not for love of myself.

I read NOM when I was angry, and it helped to know that I was not the only one. But as time has gone by, I am tired of being angry. Not just tired, but completely fatigued by that anger. That is why I came here to read. I had to let go of the anger, and find a way to grow.

I am sorry you are having a hard day, and am sorry that I have no great words of wisdom for you. I pale in comparison to your ability to put great advice to paper. I just hope that a heartfelt thank you for all you contribute to this board, and for you to know that you have helped me (and surely others), will make you feel a bit better today.

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turinturambar
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Re: Being honest with myself.

Post by turinturambar » 26 Sep 2012, 16:22

(((Wayfarer)))!!!
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

(New Testament | 1 Corinthians 13:2‎)‎

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turinturambar
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Re: Being honest with myself.

Post by turinturambar » 26 Sep 2012, 16:23

Wait...Can guys hug each other in non sports contexts?
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

(New Testament | 1 Corinthians 13:2‎)‎

Outofstep
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Joined: 18 Aug 2012, 12:50

Re: Being honest with myself.

Post by Outofstep » 26 Sep 2012, 16:56

Wayfarer,

Just know that you help. You help a lot. I hope you can take some comfort in that thought.

Thank you.

(my first attempt to post didn't go through, so sorry if for some reason this posts twice)

Curt Sunshine
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Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: Being honest with myself.

Post by Curt Sunshine » 26 Sep 2012, 17:49

Outofstep, all first posts / comments need to be approved by an admin before they can be seen by everyone. I just approved both of yours.
Ray, alls I kin say is that I am hurting right now... I don't know why...


I know, and you have a cyber hug and a shoulder here if you need one.

I also know that there are lots of lurkers here who would say exactly what Outofstep just said.

May there be a road (way).
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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cwald
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Re: Being honest with myself.

Post by cwald » 26 Sep 2012, 19:42

It seems that the universal energy and consciousness has taken a dip as of late. Its not good.

Things are off...just don't feel right. Pain. Angst. Bitterness. Sadness.

Yeah. That is where I am at too Way.

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  Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn't participate enthusiastically. - Robert Kirby

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Orson
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Re: Being honest with myself.

Post by Orson » 26 Sep 2012, 20:10

You have been an inspiration Wayfarer. I echo "this too shall pass."

I have found some interesting perspectives on A Thoughtful Faith podcast recently.
My avatar - both physical and spiritual.

I first found faith, and thought I had all truth. I then discovered doubt, and claimed a more accurate truth. Now I’ve greeted paradox and a deeper truth than I have ever known.

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