"You must have been hired here before they raised the IQ requirement."1. Shortly after it was announced that Osama bin Laden had been killed, the hostesses were talking about the events of the prior days. One of them said that an American who was also a Muslim officiated in the brief service that was held before he was buried at sea. One of the hostesses said, "Yeah, it was probably Obama." I wanted to say, "You should be ashamed of yourself." Instead, I said nothing.
I think your comeback was actually probably spot on. Not sure what Huntsman meant, but he's certainly not falling into the political trap his distant cousin has.2. After Jon Huntsman Jr. was interviewed recently and was less committal than Romney about his current activity in the Church, one of the hostesses said, "Huntsman can't even decide whether he's a Mormon or not." I wanted to say, "He's my kind of Mormon." Instead, I said, "He probably just doesn't want it to become the issue it's been with Romney."
I think you should make up your own fake optical illusion, like one of the apostle's eyes is always looking at the bosom of female patrons.3. We're supposed to start each "tour" by taking visitors over to the large mural that fills one entire wall of the Church Office Building lobby. It's the Harry Anderson picture of Christ with His eleven Apostles on the lower slope of the Mount of Olives, telling them to go and preach His gospel throughout the world. A couple of hostesses have made quite a big deal of the "fact" that His foot supposedly "follows you" as you walk from one end of the mural to the other. They say they always point this out to visitors. I wanted to say, "I don't see His foot moving any more than I can see a picture of the Virgin Mary crying in the trunk of a tree or Jesus' face in a piece of toast." Instead, I said, "Well, it's either an optical illusion (which I don't believe it is) or it's magic (which I don't believe it is). That's not something I mention to people since I don't see it as important in the slightest."
You could have said, "Oh, does your son have good children? Not your typical bishop's kids, I guess!"4. One hostess went on and on to me about her son who had been either a bishop or stake president for the last ten years. She concluded by saying, "There is no greater blessing than having good children." I wanted to say, "Really? I wouldn't know." Instead, I said nothing.
You could suggest that they install the new TSA screening devices to ensure everyone is wearing nylons and garments. Or you could ask to see hers now that you showed her yours and explain "I thought that was the game we were playing."5. I got called on the carpet the first week for supposedly not wearing nylons. I actually was wearing them, but they were the "toeless" kind that most women don't even know they can buy. I wanted to say, "You should count yourself lucky that there is one women on your shift that doesn't dress like she's 20 years older than she actually is." Instead, I hiked up my dress to show her that my garments were in fact under a pair of nylons.
You should tell her, "The Lord probably did tell you, but he sent the letter to your new address. You'll have to figure out where that is to get it."6. One divorced hostess had recently moved to a new apartment. She said she liked the actual apartment but couldn't stand the management. (Her reasons were absurd in my opinion.) I asked her if she planned on staying where she was or moving somewhere else. She said she didn't know for sure yet, because the Lord hadn't told her yet where He wanted her. I wanted to say, "He's never really cared a whole lot where I choose to live. I wonder why." Instead, I said nothing.
Seriously, though, people are not that smart, but it's also easy to paint with a broad brush on these things. There are also many mormons who don't need the second "m" removed.