An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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My3GirlsDad
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by My3GirlsDad » 12 May 2011, 13:44

Cwald- I am sorry that you have gone through this trying situation this past week. I know we can all relate to what is going on with in varying degrees. I the lds church ultimately wants only members who can honestly answer all TR questions "correctly"- then most all NOM's are on shaky ground with the lds church. But we know this...

The only way I see that this situation be avoided in the future is if the lds church becomes a more mainstream Christian Church and leaves the requirement for belief in the foundational restoration claims as optional. This will take a long time and may never happen- but they are losing members because of their unwillingness to address the historical facts.

I hope you can find a community of believers that is more suited to your way of thinking and believing. I wish you and your family well.

M3GD
M3GD

“Where there is great doubt, there will be great awakening; small doubt, small awakening; no doubt, no awakening.”- Zen Proverb

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SilentDawning
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by SilentDawning » 12 May 2011, 14:02

[edit]
Last edited by SilentDawning on 12 May 2011, 14:27, edited 2 times in total.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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jwald
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by jwald » 12 May 2011, 14:25

I just want to say thank you to everyone on this site. Providing a place to vent and encouragement to keep trying brought hope and progress to my husband who had started down a very angry path in his feelings towards the church before he found this site.
This is not something any TBM member could have done for him without getting deeply offended or spiritually hurt in the process. Because of this site he will be able to just let it all go peacefully instead of letting go with animosity towards the church. Thank you for helping him to grow and helping him to heal

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Tom Haws
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by Tom Haws » 12 May 2011, 14:33

Cwald and Jwald, maximum respect. Possibly if you back away from the church for a time you won't need the support of StayLDS. I hope you find nice spiritual upliftment and growth as "the gods" guide you. Maybe your LDS-ness can come later. You are okay.

With love,
Tom
Tom (aka Justin Martyr/Justin Morning/Jacob Marley/Kupord Maizzed)
Higley and Guadalupe
Gilbert, Arizona
----
Sure, any religion would do. But I'm LDS.
"There are no academic issues. Everything is emotional to somebody." Ray Degraw at www.StayLDS.com

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My3GirlsDad
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by My3GirlsDad » 12 May 2011, 14:53

Silent Dawning-
And its too bad, because in its most basic format, our Church encourages a healthy, clean life.
They do encourage that. But they are like a controlling father figure who rousts you every day at 5:30am and demands that you get your exercise. Then he monitors what you eat/drink and follows up in a series of interviews. Its a bit silly. But they set the rules for membership and we need to follow the rules while we "live under their roof". I just think most people will eventually find "their own place" because although they are in great physical shape- the emotional/psychological toll is too high. That is why a lot of us have found community in web communities- because we need real, true, loving connection.

The members of your ward are the reason you suffer through it all. They are the bright spot, the community- they are suffering right along with you against the (oftentimes unseen) oppressive nature of the leadership. And this leadership style was inherited- it's not really the current leadership's fault at all. They believe that they are acting in accordance with God's will- in His only true church. The problem lies much deeper- and we inherited it...along with all the good stuff that came with it.

The problems, frustration, emotional distress, and unbelief will all continue as long as the core is faulty. And the bright spots will continue as well- but won't be able to outweigh the distress in the long run. Why the distress? Because we all want to be a part of something that we can REALLY believe in. Something that inspires us and is honest. Something that doesn't require mental gymnastics to get through or the "lowering of expectations" to appreciate. Or making a pro-con list. This is not an arranged marriage. We GET to love it- if we want to.

Sorry to go off topic- I just hurt for the pain that people have, are and will go through because of this religion- in spite of its good intentions. I am still lds by record only but find little peace in their brand of "Good News". I just hope that people can separate a loving, kind, true God from this organization that claims to be His only bride. Faith in Christ saves us and the Grace offered through Him is the easy yoke that we seek. A church can offer neither of these- even if they claim to be the conduit to them.

M3GD
M3GD

“Where there is great doubt, there will be great awakening; small doubt, small awakening; no doubt, no awakening.”- Zen Proverb

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mercyngrace
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by mercyngrace » 12 May 2011, 15:49

I'm not usually at a loss for words but I honestly have no idea what to say. I'm very sad to see you go, cwald, both from the site and the church. FWIW, you and jwald will always have reserved seating on my pew, across the wifi, and in my heart should you happen by.

Much love to you both!
Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. ~ Luke 7:47

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Brian Johnston
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by Brian Johnston » 12 May 2011, 16:31

The xWald family will always be in my heart. Love you guys. We'll stay in touch. Do what's best for you and your family.
"It's strange to be here. The mystery never leaves you alone." -John O'Donohue, Anam Cara, speaking of experiencing life.

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DevilsAdvocate
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by DevilsAdvocate » 12 May 2011, 17:44

cwald wrote:...I have decided that my only option left at this time is to fade away into inactivity. The only way I can repair the damage and find peace is to “take a vacation.” In doing so, I will “leave the church” so to speak, and I will also “leave the church alone.” This is the only option I have if I am to mend my family relationships. I have absolutely no desire to go through church discipline or be a martyr for the middle way cause...It’s never been my intention to “tear down the church.” Only to find some kind of way to remain a part of it, to serve and help these people in my branch, and allow my family to have the same kind of positive experiences that I was fortunate enough to have grown up within the tribe.

So I will leave the church alone and since my family and church leaders feel these sites that I look to for support and an outlet for all my frustrations and concerns about the church, are “apostate” and threatening to the church - I will discontinue with them as well....As long as the church leaves me alone, I will be a lurker at best...Farewell my friends.
Good luck cwald; no one can say you didn't try to make things work as long as possible. I wouldn't blame you for taking a break from commenting on these boards either; it definitely wouldn't be much fun feeling like your family or local Church leaders are reading everything you say and judging you because of it.
"Truth is what works." - William James

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Thoreau
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by Thoreau » 12 May 2011, 19:01

Gonna miss you brother,
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” Henry David Thoreau

Curt Sunshine
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Re: An ominous developement for Middle Way Mormons

Post by Curt Sunshine » 12 May 2011, 21:08

"The only way I see that this situation be avoided in the future is if the lds church becomes a more mainstream Christian Church"


Fwiw, I personally disagree strongly with this - and "strongly" actually is a major understatement.

I don't want the LDS Church to become a more mainstream Christian Church. I want it to remain the unique, peculiar, paradoxical oddity that it is.

That, to me, is the heart of its glory and power and potential. I just wish all of the members could understand and love better those who struggle - seeing the sinner in ALL of us and loving ALL of us just the same. That's NOT "mainstream Christianity, as mainstream Christianity (at least theologolically) is anything BUT accepting and understanding and empowering of those who are different. Many mainstream Christians are, but mainstream Christian theology is not. I'll take the natural tension within the LDS Church between an inclusive theology and many non-inclusive members any day over the tension between an exclusive theology and some non-exclusive members. (If you don't understand what I mean by that, ask mainstream Christians where Mormons [and Buddhists and Muslims and Jews and many others] will end up and ask mainstream Mormons where non-Mormons of all kinds will end up - then analyze the responses to gauge inclusiveness on a sliding scale. The difference, in general terms, is shocking.)

If we, the people (at all levels), could embrace faith as we actually teach it (as motivation despite uncertainty) a little more and insist on knowledge in a way that really isn't taught in the Gospel itself (as required certainty) a little less . . . I would be happy with that.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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