Thanks for the link MnG. I will give them a try.
I have a couple more questions though.
1. Why include the love component. Why not just do the humility train of thought and forgive at that point. Why is the whole love component necessary, in your opinion?
2. Do you think it's possible to get the forgiveness from a different sources than humility and love? For example, I'm reading The Beginner's Guide to Walking the Buddha's Eightfold Path
. The author quotes the Dalai Lama who observed:
Now, when you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness to them....Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all.
Applying this to forgiveness, if you think about someone who has wronged you, and realize their actions were simply their version of a pursuit of happiness, and that you got hurt in the way, doesn't that help one forgive, and see that we are all simply trying to achieive happiness? And that at times, we collide with each other?
I reminds me of a comment my Dad made once. We were in business together, and someone kept calling us for sales reasons. I said I was getting a little disturbed at the interruptions, and my Dad said "He's just trying to earn a living". Same principle -- when someone wrongs you "they think they are simply making their lives better".
When I think of a woman who distributed this very nasty note to the entire Ward council about me personally (which hurt me deeply) years ago, if you look at her actions as simply a quest for trying to do what she felt would bring her the most happiness (rightly or wrongly) it doesn't seem as personal, and paves the way to forgiveness....
I'm sure there are other sources, and I would be open to listening to them. I so detest having grudges anymore.