I too get labelled an intellectual, So, I think I'm a good one to ask your question -- what would I want?
First, I'd want you to meet with me privately or with my wife also present if she too was intellectual, had concerns, and was willing. No meeting at the Church or public discussion in an existing class. The rule that you only provide faith-promoting dialogue at Church is too strong to allow for discussion of doubts or counterpoint, and would stunt conversation. I wouldn't have any compunction about you asking to come over to see me in my own home, or inviting me over to your place.
Second, I'd like the conversation to allow me to discuss my concerns and positions on issues.
Third, I'd like to avoid all of the trite sayings and standard answers to hard questions that are void of critical thinking. I'd rather there was mutual exploration of the issue. I'd like to come away from the discussion with my mind expanded on issues and seeing more sides of the issue than I did before meeting with you.
Fourth, and this is a tough one, I'd like there to be some spirituality in the meeting. A prayer would be OK at some point in the meeting. Expressions of love and kindness would also be welcome. A discussion about people who were gay or feminist, and also happy in the Church, as well as their personal perspectives would be welcome, provided those perspectives avoided trite and shop-worn phrases that people use to placate issues that have difficult solutions.
Fifth -- it would be OK if there were no conclusions drawn as a result of our meeting. And I'd hope you'd be satisfied if the meeting ended and I felt no differently about the issues than before you came. For me, the dawning of a new understanding would probably happen much later, after I had time to reflect on the issues and perspectives we shared.
The overarching benefit of your visit -- relief from the brakes I feel the Church puts on our intellect and questioning in the name of obedience. Acceptance of questioning, affirmation of my acceptability in the Church as someone who questions policy, and stimulating conversation. A healthy dose of spiritual feelings during the meeting would also help.
Don't ask for much, do I?
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young