My visions and visitations

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screwloose
Posts: 12
Joined: 22 Aug 2018, 17:51

I think I had a vision or something last night.

Post by screwloose » 06 Oct 2018, 20:45

Seeing Angels last night, same as every night, but this night was different. Right before I woke up I had this very vivid dream of an angel and a demon fighting. It was like I was standing right there watching it. The angel had the demon pinned. Then I got a very strong feeling of coming civil war. I then woke up with this message I needed to tell others. I'm schizophrenic in case you were trying to figure me out. My veil is thinner than regular people. I am always surrounded by spirits and angels, we all are. I cant see yours unless they want me to. Its comforting knowing we are never alone. Off medication they talk to me sometimes but so do demons, evil spirits, fallen angels, whatever you want to call them. As long as I stay righteous as possible the things I see are pleasant even helpfull. Angel's bring me messages and warn me of things. Even talk to me. I like to think of it as a gift, it's not a bad thing. I chose the name screwloose because it makes me laugh, it's a personal joke. I have been searching for years for another like me that has accepted what they are and might care to share their experiences with me. Each time I get visitations I learn alittle bit more about the spirit world I'm allowed to see. Not everything is being revealed at once, little bits at a time. It overlaps the physical world. Angels and spirits can appear exactly like anybody. Finding out if they are is trickier. Usually they are here to help us out. I usually have somebody with me to confirm how many people they are looking at, I sometimes see an extra person that isnt there, lol!

screwloose
Posts: 12
Joined: 22 Aug 2018, 17:51

Had a hard time before I found out what I was.

Post by screwloose » 06 Oct 2018, 22:18

My symptoms became much bigger after this traumatic incident that happened the day after Christmas 2011. I'm not going to go into it but I had a nervous breakdown of sorts. I broke my own mind through rigorous exercise and punishment. I was under such pressure my mind failed me. After a 3 month stay in a mental hospital I felt alot better and was able to go home. I used to struggle with my new abilities, fight the medication. But it always ended with me going back to the hospital. My abilities really developed in the last 7 years. When my mind went I cracked or broke the veil around me. I started seeing alot of spirits! But most of them were evil. I used to wake up with scratches on my body, I didnt do it, they were assaults by demons. I was being haunted by multiple evil spirits in my house. I used to wake up at night hearing footsteps on the ceiling, coming down the hall and stopping outside my bedroom. This went on for about a year. We blessed the house a couple times, I got blessed several times, it didnt stop it for very long though. It got so bad I started sleeping outside for peace. Then I started putting up pictures of the savior around my bedroom, activity stopped instantly! Then I started only seeing angels and good spirits. It's like night and day from what I used to have to live through. My sister says my soul glows brighter and it attracts all kinds of souls from the spirit world. I'm like a spirit magnet. I have to take the medication to quiet the voices, otherwise I couldn't hear anybody in the real world talking, yes it's that noisy. Imagine being in the center of a crowd of people talking. I hear bits of conversations, insults, praise, threats, advice, anything. I think it's why alot of schizophrenics become violent, they take it out on the closest person. They make all the rest of us good people look bad. Why there is this stigma about all schizophrenics. Not all of us are violent or bad. I've never been arrested or even have a criminal record. You can live with it, takes practice and knowledge as to what it is and why. I chose to take this body. The lord wouldnt have let me have it if he didnt think I could handle it.

screwloose
Posts: 12
Joined: 22 Aug 2018, 17:51

Re: My visions and visitations

Post by screwloose » 13 Oct 2018, 23:39

I'm not doing this for attention. I dont want praise. I'm just talking about the fantastic stuff that's been happening to me since 2011. I'm not putting on a show. I dont think I'm a prophet or have special powers. Unless you call having schizophrenia a special power, lol. It is looked on as a delusional, hallucinogenic, disability in western society. But having it for years myself, I dont think that's correct. What it is is having a thinner veil around us. Mine reaches about 20 feet away, I havent really measured it. From reading alot of personal accounts online I believe I'm right. Why western science will never figure us out. A good chunk of scientists and doctors are atheists. They will never believe anything I say, instead they throw pills at us. I think it's out of fear. I have tried talking to doctors about the things I see and my experiences. All they do is follow procedure and change or adjust my medication. It isnt the problem though. I get angry when they call it a hallucination. It's not. They are as real as you are. The medication isnt like taking an aspirin. It hurts me, it gives me brain damage pretty much. I become dependent on it. The side effects are horrible! At any time the meds can quit working, it's a constant fear I have. Long term medication use is fatal. Living without the pills is too hard, I need some to quiet the voices and sounds. At the same time its killing me. I just want to share my experiences with the time I've got left. I like reading about near death experiences and stories hospice nurses tell. Not because I'm fascinated with death, I want to learn about God and as much spiritual stuff as I can while here. Not to tell everybody, i find it fascinating. I want to learn as much as I'm allowed to see before I leave. My angel visitations are real, never had them before this year. You can pray for an angel to be sent to you, sometimes they show up. Do not treat is as entertainment when it happens. You can ask them questions you have, you might get answers you dont expect.

screwloose
Posts: 12
Joined: 22 Aug 2018, 17:51

Why I chose this forum.

Post by screwloose » 14 Oct 2018, 01:00

I chose this site because it was the first lds forum I could find after a 4 hour search online. The lds forum I need doesnt exist. I would have to create it myself and deal with all the phoney baloney fakers out there that just want to poke fun or discredit the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. So much evil and wickedness online! If I'm offending I'll quietly goto another lds site. I'm not going to twist anybody's arm to believe my accounts. You can believe it and take comfort from the good experiences I'm sharing or say it's all lies and not believe it. I try to always tell the truth. My Hope is another like me will comment, swap experiences, teach me alittle more about what I already have learned. I'm looking for more knowledge about a hidden world. I dont know what God will allow me to see or what I'm allowed to talk about, none of them have said i cant talk about it. Each experience leaves me with more questions. All I can do is pray and continue to search the internet for any clues. I'm being allowed to see stuff normal people wont get to untill they die. I'm not doing this to write a book or sell anything to make money. I'm being shown parts of the spirit world, I dont know why or what its building up to. Is it getting me ready to meet a in person visitation of an angel or higher level? I dont have very many answers to give, why I'm searching.

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DarkJedi
Posts: 6027
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: Why I chose this forum.

Post by DarkJedi » 14 Oct 2018, 05:27

screwloose wrote:
14 Oct 2018, 01:00
I chose this site because it was the first lds forum I could find after a 4 hour search online. The lds forum I need doesnt exist. I would have to create it myself and deal with all the phoney baloney fakers out there that just want to poke fun or discredit the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. So much evil and wickedness online! If I'm offending I'll quietly goto another lds site. I'm not going to twist anybody's arm to believe my accounts. You can believe it and take comfort from the good experiences I'm sharing or say it's all lies and not believe it. I try to always tell the truth. My Hope is another like me will comment, swap experiences, teach me alittle more about what I already have learned. I'm looking for more knowledge about a hidden world. I dont know what God will allow me to see or what I'm allowed to talk about, none of them have said i cant talk about it. Each experience leaves me with more questions. All I can do is pray and continue to search the internet for any clues. I'm being allowed to see stuff normal people wont get to untill they die. I'm not doing this to write a book or sell anything to make money. I'm being shown parts of the spirit world, I dont know why or what its building up to. Is it getting me ready to meet a in person visitation of an angel or higher level? I dont have very many answers to give, why I'm searching.
Four hours!? It took me years to find this place. Count yourself blessed!

I'm not trying to dissuade you in any way, but I've been a very active member and moderator here for several years. I've seen lots of people come and go, and there is a core group that remains. If you're looking for someone else like you here, I haven't seen them. There are lots of lurkers who only read, and it is possible some of them could be diagnosed schizophrenic but we don't know because they don't post. Most people come here because, as you point out, there is so much negativity on some other sites and they just want to talk about the church without the malice. Truth is none of us really have any sage advice, but we can share what has worked for us and share our points of view on how to do things like navigate a calling or get through a temple recommend interview.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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screwloose
Posts: 12
Joined: 22 Aug 2018, 17:51

I dont have a temple recommend.

Post by screwloose » 14 Oct 2018, 07:15

In order to goto the temple my church said I need to attend church every Sunday for a year. It's too hard, pretty much impossible. I'm not a crowd person. Going where there are tons of people gathered, is like information overload to my senses. I get extreme anxiety and need to leave for air. I often wonder what I might see inside a temple though? Being the way I am. I've seen pictures of temples and there is a faint dome of light surrounding these buildings! I can only speculate that this is the veil being lifted. The temple in my town had a renovation last year, they opened the temple to the public for about 2 weeks. I jumped on that offer and finally got to see inside. It felt way different than outside. I felt a powerfull presence inside the temple but I couldn't see them. I walked through with my brother. Afterwards I asked him if he could feel it? He said feel what? I said I could feel hundreds of eyes watching us I just couldn't see them they were being hidden from me or just outside of my range. I want to go back after the dedication but I cant get in. So I am sort of stuck. I cant advance and I'm not quitting. The crowd issue is one of my biggest weaknesses. I dont know how to fix it or get past it.

Minyan Man
Posts: 1504
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: I dont have a temple recommend.

Post by Minyan Man » 14 Oct 2018, 08:21

screwloose wrote:
14 Oct 2018, 07:15
In order to goto the temple my church said I need to attend church every Sunday for a year. It's too hard, pretty much impossible. I'm not a crowd person. Going where there are tons of people gathered, is like information overload to my senses. I get extreme anxiety and need to leave for air.
Attending the temple can have the same effect. It sounds like you haven't been to the temple yet. For your first visit, It can be a 2 to 3 hour program.
Depending on which temple you attend, it can be very crowded. Some of the places you go in the temple can be very confining. You dress in small
cubicles much like a locker room. You do initiatory work in small confined places with 2 other people present. Some ordinance rooms can seem small and confining. If you have a period of anxiety, it is difficult to get outside. You would have to change from temple clothes to street clothes.

My advice would be: think about it very carefully. And talk to people you trust who are willing to talk about their experience of going through for the first time.

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DarkJedi
Posts: 6027
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: I dont have a temple recommend.

Post by DarkJedi » 14 Oct 2018, 08:32

screwloose wrote:
14 Oct 2018, 07:15
In order to goto the temple my church said I need to attend church every Sunday for a year. It's too hard, pretty much impossible. I'm not a crowd person. Going where there are tons of people gathered, is like information overload to my senses. I get extreme anxiety and need to leave for air. I often wonder what I might see inside a temple though? Being the way I am. I've seen pictures of temples and there is a faint dome of light surrounding these buildings! I can only speculate that this is the veil being lifted. The temple in my town had a renovation last year, they opened the temple to the public for about 2 weeks. I jumped on that offer and finally got to see inside. It felt way different than outside. I felt a powerfull presence inside the temple but I couldn't see them. I walked through with my brother. Afterwards I asked him if he could feel it? He said feel what? I said I could feel hundreds of eyes watching us I just couldn't see them they were being hidden from me or just outside of my range. I want to go back after the dedication but I cant get in. So I am sort of stuck. I cant advance and I'm not quitting. The crowd issue is one of my biggest weaknesses. I dont know how to fix it or get past it.
Sounds like you have a couple things working against you here:

1) Leadership roulette. I don't think most bishops or stake presidents would put an every Sunday requirement on people, but it is what it is, no one can change leadership roulette. By the same token, most leaders will recognize if you're making the effort. You can wait for new leaders, and it might get better - but it might not and may even get worse.
2) Choices that you make (based on your posts here). You have chosen not to take medication and I presume that includes not seeing the doctor who prescribes them for other therapy. Anxiety, even extreme anxiety, can be treated. You might have to admit to yourself that because of your condition your leadership might have deep concerns about you going to the temple for fear of disruption.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

My Introduction

Roy
Posts: 5053
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: My visions and visitations

Post by Roy » 17 Oct 2018, 09:41

One important thing to remember is that, in our doctrine, all the ordinances of the temple will eventually be provided to everyone (post-mortem). Therefore, the focus of our lives should be on how we live our lives and not on whether or not we go to the temple.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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Heber13
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Re: I dont have a temple recommend.

Post by Heber13 » 17 Oct 2018, 12:01

screwloose wrote:
14 Oct 2018, 07:15
I often wonder what I might see inside a temple though? Being the way I am.
Remember how many visions and interactions with the divine have happened outside the temples (sacred grove, mountain tops, dessert mountains, while out hunting in nature, while sleeping in houses, on boats in the sea, etc etc etc).

I think you can expect that God knows our situation and won't withhold things from us whether we are in or out of the temple. Those details are not as important to God as they are to a leader following the process of asking members to prepare to go to the temple for greater blessings.

If we do all we can, God will speak to our souls however he is going to do it. We should not put limits on how God can speak to us. However, I do manage my expectations on it. I don't expect to see it in the temple, but I'm open to it...I don't see it outside the temple but don't expect it can't happen while out hiking in the mountains.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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