- I tend to be careless sometimes on where I put my rings before I go to do dishes.
- I pray - but I no longer expect God to hear my prayer or intervene in my life. I pray for the purely selfish reasons of gathering thoughts/brainstorming and to satisfy tradition. I am hopeful that I will not be struck down by lightening for my selfishness if God is really listening. It's not so much that I don't want to have a conversation with God, it's more that I no longer assume that my previous understanding that there is a God who is really listening is suspect and I don't have a better replacement yet (if ever). <In other words, it's not Him - it's me >
I took my wedding and engagement rings off and put them on the table to go do the dishes. There was a change in plans, so I wound up cleaning instead - picking things up and throwing them to where I felt they needed to go. I was angry at the unexpected activity transition and not really paying attention to what I was doing. I did not pay attention to my rings while picking things up or going about my business.
A few hours later, I went back to reclaim my rings and realized that 1 of my rings was not on the table anymore. I rooted around for a few minutes and couldn't find it, then started really looking for it. I told my husband about it and he spent some time helping me look for my ring. An hour into it, he advises to go pray - and I said I would do so later after the girls were in bed. So we got them through their routine and tucked in and I start deep cleaning the room it was likely to be in or the next room over in hopes of finding it. My husband says a prayer and the "answer" he gets is something like "I would be the one to get the most from the answer, not him" (more or less - and yes it was probably a subtle dig at my non-praying). I do the smile and nod thing, and move onto the kitchen. About 2 hours into it I am still furious at myself for misplacing my ring, and very, very tired - so I call it a night. I did offer a quick prayer - mostly because I had told my husband I would - not that I really hoped or expected that I would get any help - I also felt that I was not in the correct attitude to pray, and that wasn't going to change anytime that evening.
My husband offers words of encouragement and is sure it will turn up (points for not yelling at me about it even though I deserved it). I agree with him, and mention that one of the next places I was going to check in the morning was our kitchen trash bag. He wishes me luck in my search, but is pretty sure it is not there and makes it a point to tell me that. I keep it on my mental list reasoning "with my luck, it will end up in a messy place like that - I think I did move some papers from the table to the trash in the time frame the ring vanished in."
The next morning, I take 5 minutes and start transferring the trash to a new trash bag and checking it. I chose that place because I could spare 10 minutes of time, and it was the messiest place on my list of possible ring sites to check next that fit the time I had available. Lo and behold, there is the ring
- I am correct in the sense that it was my thought process and elbow grease that found the ring. I was able to "reason it out in my mind".
- That my husband's prayer answer is also correct - just not in the meaning he would expect.
- I can respect my husband's prayer process - I think he needed to know that it had been prayed for and would be found so that he could interact with me in a non-upset manner. My husband and I emotionally cycle around each other not infrequently, so we try to take turns grounding the other person whenever possible. My life would have been a lot harder that day if my husband had not had a good attitude in the face of a rather potentially pricey situation.