True Forgiveness

[Curt Sunshine]

“Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”

(C. S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity, p. 89)

This is a powerful quote that is worth personal contemplation.

[DarkJedi]

Love it, and it's absolutely correct. Ol' Clive hit it on the head again. What most people want is mercy for themselves and justice for everyone else while not really understanding what justice means (it's much more related to fairness than punishment, BTW). Are we going to be shocked when we find Hitler or Manson in the CK? We shouldn't be.

[mom3]

And then . . . It feels impossible.

[SilentDawning]

For me true forgiveness is elusive. I don't know where to find it or how to get it. The Bible in the church tries to teach principles for how to get it, but if you fail, it's your own fault. And then there is self loathing that you were worse than the sinner. None of that helps. But Time dulls the memory in the heart. But those moments stay with you for the longest time. I do think that adjusting your life in the light of what you learned through the traumatic experience has some value in increasing your overall level of peace. That is been my experience as a disaffected Mormon. As a disaffected, Wounded Mormon, avoid the hurtful situations, find new pastures where those memories are not triggered. Do your best to live your life in the search of peace. And let time take care of the healing.

[Roy]

SD, I believe one of the most feeing elements of "forgiveness" is the ability to move on.

If you have found techniques that have allowed you to move forward and not be overly tied to past offenses, I would count that as a win.

[SamBee]

As someone helping a friend through a divorce, I can completely sympathize!

I've seen some quite unpleasant things today... urgh.

[LDS_Scoutmaster]

Forgiving, getting taken advantage of, walked on, trusting, opening up again, loving; it's been a long road to figure out.

I at times was easy to forgive others and way too easy to trust others. I found these two weren't the same.

I heard a quote recently and it helped me navigate;

Forgiveness does not equate to a relationship

I can and will forgive, but that does not mean that I must trust or allow someone into my life. I've dealt with too many manipulators over the years. Sorry if I'm a little bitter

I have found the peace of forgiveness that comes by letting things go, and it's amazing.

[Roadrunner]

Thanks for this post. I think I read this on this forum and it has helped me: Sometimes the person we have to forgive is God.

Also for me forgiveness means learning to set boundaries which is along the lines of what others have said.

[LookingHard]

Thanks for this post. I think I read this on this forum and it has helped me: Sometimes the person we have to forgive is God.

Also for me forgiveness means learning to set boundaries which is along the lines of what others have said.

If you have ever read the book, "why bad things happen to good people" you will recognize that same theme - learn to forgive God.

[DarkJedi]

Thanks for this post. I think I read this on this forum and it has helped me: Sometimes the person we have to forgive is God.

Also for me forgiveness means learning to set boundaries which is along the lines of what others have said.

I spent several years being mad at God for something it turned out God had nothing to do with - at least the God I now recognize had nothing to do with it. I agree, being able to let that go and/or forgive God was key to my own healing.