5 Love Languages as Applied to God

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AmyJ
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5 Love Languages as Applied to God

Post by AmyJ » 28 Nov 2017, 13:17

Awhile back, my husband and I found the "5 Love Languages" - 5 ways that people relate to each other (originally spouses) based on what is important to them. This vastly improved our marriage after we realized that life would be better if we focused on showing love in a way our spouse would receive it as "love".

What if these 5 ways are how we attempt to show/describe our love towards God?

I have attempted to generally capture 1-2 line items as potential examples for each "language" below:
Gifts - Old Testament offerings, spiritual/physical gifts at Christmastime...
Spending Quality Time - otherwise known as prayer, temple worship...
Words of Affirmation - Praise periods, Psalms...
Acts of Service - service...
Physical Touch - while not necessarily directly how we relate to God, we have visions of seeing God, and tend to view Him universally as related to us, and having a personal connection to God is important....

So what if other religions and their celebrations is just "speaking a different language" then we grew up in (so to speak)?

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Heber13
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Re: 5 Love Languages as Applied to God

Post by Heber13 » 28 Nov 2017, 15:00

I have also found analogies helpful for the relationship with spouses and relationship with god or church. There are similarities that work.

I would even expound on the good ideas you mentioned (mine are in red):
AmyJ wrote:
28 Nov 2017, 13:17
Gifts - Old Testament offerings, spiritual/physical gifts at Christmastime...also tithes and offerings to show sacrifices to the other, callings and time given to the church as a way to measure commitment levels. These can also include the nice churches and temples that are built as a way to take pride in the gifts to god and show of devotion, like the stories of the Kirtland temple being made with broken china and dishes of the poor saints as a show of sacrifice. Today...our tithing and fast offerings help make ornate temples with chandeliers and white beautiful buildings.
Spending Quality Time - otherwise known as prayer, temple worship...Callings and 3 hour block of meetings, leadership meetings, and showing up to support others by going to socials and activities outside of any church meeting
Words of Affirmation - Praise periods, Psalms...Testimony meetings, comments in sunday school to affirm the "truth" is found here, how this church is better than other churches, how the leaders are inspired and we support them because they are worthy to receive God's revelations...all affirming how important the church or god is in our lives...by expressing it, it strengthens those feelings in those expressing it, by hearing them from others it affirms our own testimonies that we have truth
Acts of Service - service...Callings (again) including all the youth activities and dances and things that serve the younger generations, and home teaching/visiting teaching, cleaning the church and grounds, employment services to help strengthen families and other welfare services, and going to the temple for others, and this can also include the humanitarian funds and donations given for service to others.
Physical Touch - while not necessarily directly how we relate to God, we have visions of seeing God, and tend to view Him universally as related to us, and having a personal connection to God is important....The temple ceremony and the garments we wear have physical qualities to tie to the spiritual things, and we fast and abstain from things in the word of wisdom which are physically connecting things to the divine. Baptisms and sacraments are physical touch we experience. Some things are made physical to help with the spiritual and emotional side of things.
If I were to be talking about my relationship with the church...I would say my love language is Acts of Service as the important thing I want to see to make me feel good about the relationship. I can see the purpose of the others, but they don't speak to my spirit like service does, which is the essence of religion, I think.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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Mr. Sneelock
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Re: 5 Love Languages as Applied to God

Post by Mr. Sneelock » 28 Nov 2017, 15:20

What an interesting concept and way to look at our relationship with God! If love languages are a framework to help partners see how the other wants to be loved, then I guess the important question would be what kind of love language does God speak? How does God want us to show our love?

I agree with Heber13 that serving God's children is the love language that resonates most with me right now, but I can see how the other love languages are all ways that people can express their love toward God.
. . . beauty for ashes . . .

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Heber13
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Re: 5 Love Languages as Applied to God

Post by Heber13 » 28 Nov 2017, 15:26

Mr. Sneelock wrote:
28 Nov 2017, 15:20
I can see how the other love languages are all ways that people can express their love toward God.
I hear many people talk about the social side of it...I get the feeling they are expressing the experience that as they associate with others in the tribe...they feel better. They are more supported and strengthened and happier then when they are by themselves. They go to church to get that social love language. I think that might be a part of Spending Quality Time Together.

I don't know. Is the social support more something else?
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

Roy
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Re: 5 Love Languages as Applied to God

Post by Roy » 28 Nov 2017, 15:41

Funny story time: A few years ago the RS organized a 5 Love Languages presentation. The presenter was from the stake leadership. DW and I had read the book and applied some of the principles and were interested in going to share what we had learned. The presenter admitted that he had not read the book and spent about the next 30 minutes lecturing on why we need the pure love of Christ in our marriages. We ate our ice cream and went home. I could tell that the RS president was not happy. It made me wonder, how on earth did they end up asking someone to present that had no familiarity with the topic? As though authority carried more importance than subject knowledge. End funny story. :mrgreen:

DW and I have strained relationships with her parents. One of the ways that I frame this interaction is that they are incapable of responding to our love needs. They will send us gifts that seem to be not age appropriate and not personalized, as though every grandchild received the same exact thing (Could you at least include a hand written note at the end to make it seem less impersonal???) They are transmitting love - but not in a way that anyone receives. Pretty sad really.

As for God, There was a quote around StayLDS somewhere that said, "If man were triangles, then God would be triangular." We seem to perceive God through the lens of our own experiences. Harsh unforgiving experiences conjure harsh unforgiving gods. I remember reading about an influential early catholic church father. He was an obedient and well mannered sort. He was a huge proponent of free agency. Then came along St Augustine. He lived a freewheeling lifestyle until his conversion and baptism at the age of 32. He had his "Road to Damascus" moment and felt compelled to follow the teachings of Jesus. He helped promote the doctrine of irresistible grace (the idea that God's grace can make you have a change of heart and that unless God initiates this reclaiming grace upon you - there is nothing that you can do yourself). That doctrine has had a large impact in what would later become western Christianity.

An LDS book I read on the apostasy made the case that these charismatic individual led movements were evidence of the apostasy - evidence that the doctrine of the church was drifting from its original teachings. It is interesting now that I look at that and see that similar things have happened in the LDS church. Sometimes in trying to be different than the other churches - we end up being pretty similar.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

AmyJ
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Re: 5 Love Languages as Applied to God

Post by AmyJ » 29 Nov 2017, 07:09

Mr. Sneelock wrote:
28 Nov 2017, 15:20
What an interesting concept and way to look at our relationship with God! If love languages are a framework to help partners see how the other wants to be loved, then I guess the important question would be what kind of love language does God speak?
At this point, I think that God speaks all love languages perfectly. Just as throughout our human lives we learn to see and speak all these love languages imperfectly - it is part of our developmental process, I think that God has already perfected this area.
Mr. Sneelock wrote:
28 Nov 2017, 15:20
How does God want us to show our love?
I don't know yet. I think that He wants us to stop having hangups on the ways others are speaking a love language towards God (as long as it does not destroy others), and start talking with him in whichever language(s) we can. If He is not as involved in having a conversation with us as we need him to be, it may be a case of talking with him in mind for our own improvement and development.
Mr. Sneelock wrote:
28 Nov 2017, 15:20
I agree with Heber13 that serving God's children is the love language that resonates most with me right now, but I can see how the other love languages are all ways that people can express their love toward God.
I show my love for God right now by serving my family, and giving what I can to others in need. I have been focusing on living the 2 Great Commandments for the last while, and while I can see the principles involved in loving/serving other humans, it is not so easy for me to show loving/serving God. I am not sure what God wants, at the end of the day. Right now, I think that God wants me to make ethically sound choices (be honest, be charitable, be industrious, be grateful just to name a few), be prayerful and meditative, and be responsible when I make choices and select consequences (the ones that I can select). One thing that I think that God wants is for us as people to work with Him to understand what resources we have available, and prioritize their use. For me, one of the lessons taken from the parable of the 5,2, and 1 talent is - God does not judge on the number of resources a person has - he makes no distinction between the person who started with 5 and grew it to 10 and the person who started with 2 and grew it to 4. He DOES NOT CARE ABOUT THAT - BUT WE SEEM TO DO SO. He does care on how the resources are spent - that is the problem illustrated in the parable - that not spending resources is a problem. I am learning to trust - or maybe this is a need of mine being reflected in the framework of my narrative - that GOD is OK with me being a 2 talent person rather than expecting me to be a 5 talent person right off the bat - even though I live in a 5 talent person expectation society.

I recognize that in the season of life I am in, there are areas of focus - namely my children and my husband. My husband is dealing with chronic health problems that limit the resources he has available to parent/participate as a member of our household. My eldest daughter continues to be an area of focus for my husband and I as it becomes more apparent that her brain wiring is non-traditional, and we need to balance what we expect of her, and what others expect of her as she moves onto Achievement Days and increased school loads. My younger daughter is 15 months now - toddlers absorb a lot of love, energy and correct discipline as they move into becoming more mobile and independent. I am also a student in the Pathways program, and a full-time employee.

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Heber13
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Re: 5 Love Languages as Applied to God

Post by Heber13 » 29 Nov 2017, 13:01

AmyJ wrote:
29 Nov 2017, 07:09
He DOES NOT CARE ABOUT THAT - BUT WE SEEM TO DO SO
good post, AmyJ. Thanks!
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

Roy
Posts: 5009
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: 5 Love Languages as Applied to God

Post by Roy » 30 Nov 2017, 10:13

AmyJ wrote:
29 Nov 2017, 07:09
My husband is dealing with chronic health problems that limit the resources he has available to parent/participate as a member of our household. My eldest daughter continues to be an area of focus for my husband and I as it becomes more apparent that her brain wiring is non-traditional, and we need to balance what we expect of her, and what others expect of her as she moves onto Achievement Days and increased school loads.
One phrase that I have learned from the special needs community is that a particular person does not have the "skills to be successful in that environment". Some do not have the capacity to learn the needed skills and the expectations need to be adjusted. Others can learn the new skills with the proper environment and support. The environment and supports need to be adjusted.

I believe that many people are not more successful because they lack the necessary skills. Often there is insufficient support. Often the environment is pretty fixed. Often people are not self aware enough to know where to start or how and whom to ask for help. Therefore many individuals go through life doing the best that they can with the skills that they have.

This applies pretty well to a kid with ADD. It also applies pretty well to the rest of us in our own relative skill levels.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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