Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

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QuestionAbound
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Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by QuestionAbound » 21 Sep 2013, 21:06

I really wish that new couples could read over the temple sealing wording before hand.
I know I didn't catch what I was promising or what my husband was promising until 16 years later when I found the script for a sealing.
The wife gives herself to the husband.
The husband takes the wife unto himself.
*kinda sounds like "The Farmer in the Dell." I guess all of us wives get to "take a child". :)
Anyway, does this bother anyone else?
Has anyone else come to terms with this?

I'm assuming the verbiage is there so that a man can take subsequent wives.
Which...seems a little off to me if we aren't totally sure of PM is even doctrine.
And if this same wording existed in JS's time, then his polyanderous wives were breaking sacred covenants from the get-go.

Anyway...my husband and I were married civilly first, so we promised ourselves to each other ... And I'm cool with that, but if we had only been sealed, I would ask for a redo and he would have promised himself to me as well. :)

Dax
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Re: Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by Dax » 21 Sep 2013, 21:42

Yes this truly bothers me as well. Once again,even in the most sacred of all places, Im reminded that I as a woman am not as valuable as a man the eyes of God according to the church. The endowment did a real number on me as well but I am trying to see parts such as this as the "church" and not the "gospel". Helps a little but not a ton.

Ann
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Re: Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by Ann » 21 Sep 2013, 22:05

QuestionAbound wrote: Anyway, does this bother anyone else?
Has anyone else come to terms with this?
Yes.
Not really.
But I'm married to a good man who virtually never acts in a way that brings the unpleasantness of the language to my mind.
"Preachers err by trying to talk people into belief; better they reveal the radiance of their own discovery." - Joseph Campbell

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

"Therefore they said unto him, How were thine eyes opened? He answered and said unto them, A man that is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes...." - John 9:10-11

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by Curt Sunshine » 21 Sep 2013, 22:45

Unfortunately, it's a cultural relic.

Thankfully, a large majority of men don't see it the way men used to see it or how it sounds to so many women.

I won't shed a tear if it changes - not a single one.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

Roy
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Re: Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by Roy » 22 Sep 2013, 11:21

QuestionAbound wrote:The wife gives herself to the husband.
The husband takes the wife unto himself.
In my marriage we have focused on the significance of the word "receive." Much has been said about how we "receive the HG" - how it is not merely a passive thing but includes "making accommodation for" and actively accepting the gift. We have applied that same meaning to the reception of one another in marriage. In a way it can be harder and take more work to receive someone than to be received. Which position is more enviable, the houseguest or the host? I suppose it depends on the perspective and how nobly the other party is performing their part. If you had a terrible houseguest, then I would pity the host. If you had a terrible host, then I would pity the houseguest.

For DW and I, we both say that we "receive" each other. If this part were to be changed to give ourselves to each other then I hope that it could also include that we receive each other as well - that way we can both be equal parts host and houseguest. :thumbup:
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

Ann
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Re: Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by Ann » 22 Sep 2013, 16:04

Roy wrote:
QuestionAbound wrote:The wife gives herself to the husband.
The husband takes the wife unto himself.
In my marriage we have focused on the significance of the word "receive." Much has been said about how we "receive the HG" - how it is not merely a passive thing but includes "making accommodation for" and actively accepting the gift. We have applied that same meaning to the reception of one another in marriage. In a way it can be harder and take more work to receive someone than to be received. Which position is more enviable, the houseguest or the host? I suppose it depends on the perspective and how nobly the other party is performing their part. If you had a terrible houseguest, then I would pity the host. If you had a terrible host, then I would pity the houseguest.

For DW and I, we both say that we "receive" each other. If this part were to be changed to give ourselves to each other then I hope that it could also include that we receive each other as well - that way we can both be equal parts host and houseguest. :thumbup:
I really like the thoughts about receiving. I would love to see a rewording in time for the next generation of sealings in our family.
"Preachers err by trying to talk people into belief; better they reveal the radiance of their own discovery." - Joseph Campbell

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

"Therefore they said unto him, How were thine eyes opened? He answered and said unto them, A man that is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes...." - John 9:10-11

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MayB
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Re: Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by MayB » 28 Sep 2013, 12:40

This wording always bothered me. DH and I used to do sealings when we went to the temple, so I heard it quite often. It still bothers me. DH never even noticed it until I pointed it out. Now it bothers him too. We actually plan on doing some sort of "renewal of vows" type of thing in a few years on one of our anniversaries where we can say what we want to say to each other and celebrate the union of our two lives and how far we've come together and look to the future. It won't be anything big or extravagant, but it saddens me that our wedding didn't feel like it was about two people giving themselves to each other and promising to love and support one another.
MayB

conflicted testimony
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Re: Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by conflicted testimony » 28 Sep 2013, 19:36

I am thankful that we were married civilly first and chose our own vows.

The whole temple experience was "off" for me and the sealing words were the icing on the cake. The thing is, you don't know what you are signing up for. You are told it is all a big secret so no opportunity to see if you actually agree with what you are doing up front. Once you are in there, what are you to do? Leave? I didn't feel I had that option - the implication was that I did not want to be sealed to my husband and children (who were waiting patiently). With any other contract there is a cooling off period - an opportunity to read the contract, get advice, think it over - no such thing here. The temple classes were absolutely no help at all.

Then once it is all done you have the threat hanging over your head of eternal damnation because now you know more and your responsibility and punishment are greater.

Hmmm, reading back on that, those little cracks are getting wider....

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by Curt Sunshine » 28 Sep 2013, 19:53

The temple classes were absolutely no help at all.


and that is a HUGE part of the problem. It is SO easy to fix that, but we've taken a few things that are not to be shared openly and turned it into not talking at all - which is pointless and not actually in line with the ceremony itself. All of my kids and everyone with whom I talk about it are prepared (as much as they can be), and I never cross any forbidden lines.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

Jazernorth
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Joined: 05 Sep 2013, 06:15

Re: Sealings: I GAVE myself to him??

Post by Jazernorth » 28 Sep 2013, 20:04

I'm pretty young, comparatively. I didn't even know it said that, or even meant that, until I read this first post. I had to think about it for awhile. I agree, I would not care if it got changed. I don't think my wife heard anything in the temple that day, so she probably doesn't know it exists either.

Do you think I'm going to tell her? No way..... it is best to let that problem be still.
Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness!
I will fight for all of them, will you join me?
http://www.jaynorth.net

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